“Accidents, Illnesses, Death & Chicken Soup”

May 17, 2026 – Discover frozen chicken breast in the back of freezer and decide to make chicken/vegetable soup… when the weather gets a bit cooler.

Before I immerse myself in this story (pun intended) I feel a need to do a little preamble just to wake up the Muse and get the creative juices flowing. It’s currently September 19, 2026 – a full 4 months since I fell out of my Kayak into the frigid waters of Deep Cove on May 20 – and I’m having my usual bout of “post-Mayne Island Shavasana Gallery & Café busy season” difficulties, shifting gears from Curator/Barista to writer/creative guy.

I wrote the first paragraph (below) back in early June when I had a little time off and felt the story calling to me in its immediacy. At the time, falling out of a kayak and having a dramatic near brush with death, with a few comic interludes thrown in, felt like an experience worthy of a write up – and I believe it still is. I decided to call this stand-alone story the “Kayaccident” – a harrowing and humorous recounting of the frightening, funny and fortunate events of that day.

The intervening time, however, has been not only busy – as mentioned – but sadly replete with the deaths, illnesses and injuries of a number of dear friends, which has deflated my keenness to dive in (more pun intention) to this short story. At one time I had five friends in hospital with various injuries and illnesses of their own, making my own unwary plunge into the chilly waters of Indian Arm seem more like a much-needed cautionary wake-up call …a bucket of cold water thrown over my head, “Aww, poor Georgie… you got wet…wah-wah-wah! Get over it you withering milksop!”

But, in light of this statistic, “that between 400 and 450 people died by drowning in Canada last year – 83 in B.C. alone” – I think “The Kayaccident” has merit, and it shall be told as my own little stand-alone story within the larger picture of “Accidents, Illnesses, Death & Chicken Soup.”

Have a read:

“The Kayaccident”

Although I had seen the man in the red baseball cap come and go from my local morning coffee shop for several years, he and I had never exchanged a single word until this day – limiting our interactions to simple smiles, nods and the occasional “hey.” In a moment of impeccable timing and uncanny prescience, “Red Cap” walked by our table while I was having an animated conversation with my friend Jordy about an impending kayak trip, that I was about to have with my son Cameron later that afternoon. Just as I half-jokingly said the words, “What could possibly go wrong?”, “Red Cap” stopped in mid-stride while passing our table, turned and looked at me, and, with a wry smile said, “Famous last words.”

Cameron had bought two kayaks several months prior, and, upon learning of this I began suggesting that he and I go on a little father/son adventure – as we had done several times together, via bike and kayak. We even had an overnighter together on a two-man Kayak a few years prior through the Belle Chain Islets up to Cabbage and Tumbo Islands– overnighting there – and then around Saturna the following day.

Cameron is a true outdoorsman – hiking, flying, mountain climbing, camping…and kayaking – and is equipped for all-weather activities. His father, conversely, is a fair-weather activities guy who is afraid of heights and prefers to go for lunch…on a nice day. But I am also cursed with that sometimes-fatal male delusion that I can actually do anything (flying and mountain climbing excluded) and am invincible… when the weather allows.

And today, May 20, 2026, was just such a day.

“Let’s do it Cam! Finally, it looks great out there…sunny, warm…just you and I on the open chuck exploring Deep Cove and maybe up Indian Arm. Should be fun!” “Ok Dad – can you be here around 9:30? Andreas and Mateo will be in daycare. We can probably load up the kayaks and get to Deep Cove by 10:30ish for a 3 – or 4 -hour paddle.” “Sure thing Cam, rush hour should be over, so, if I hit the road by 8:30 I should be to you just after 9 or so…see ya then!”

The drive from Kitsilano, through East Van and over the Second Narrows to their place in Lynnmour was uneventful, and soon we were attaching roof racks to Cam’s car, hauling the kayaks out of storage and gathering everything we’d need for a safe and fun trip – life jackets, paddles & pumps, snacks in a dry bag, and a rope…in the remote chance we had some kind of aquatic mishap.

Deep Cove is a spectacular place – a beautiful bay surrounded by mountains, parks and vistas – pulling Ocean water all the way from the Pacific, through the Salish Sea, up Burrard Inlet to Indian Arm, and back. Hiking abounds, and it is a natural and compelling place for all sorts of watersports. It’s such a popular launching site for kayakers that some enterprising soul has set up the Deep Cove Kayak Centre which rents kayaks to all who may not come so equipped.

But Cam & I are equipped. Cam will be piloting his yellow, heavier, ocean-going kayak and I’ll be in the slightly lighter blue, thermoformed plastic model.

When you are schlepping kayaks from a parking lot, across roads, and down several flights of stairs to the beach, however, neither model feels “light” as you are shouldering about 75 pounds of boat…not something you should do alone.

Suiting up, doublechecking, getting ready to launch, and Cam noticed that I was carrying my cell phone with me. “You should probably put that in my dry bag Dad – you wouldn’t want to drop it in the water accidentally.” “Aww, I was hoping to take some good action shots of you and I…nice to have something to throw on F’Book or show the family.” “Yeah, generally not recommended…no fun to lose a $1200 phone…and you should be keeping your hands on your paddle anyway, for safety and control of your boat – you never know when waves or wind might kick up.” …”OK, I hear you, here it is – but hold on! I’ll take one of us before we take off. I need something to show that I’m here having a fun adventure with my boy!” I said smiling as I grabbed Cam for a quick selfie before we took off.

The launch was smooth and successful. We had decided to head towards Jug Island Beach, a pebbly, crushed shell spot, which would be a perfect place for us to land our craft and have a few snacks. The beach was about 2.5 kilometers across the bay – a relatively easy 50-minute trip given the current conditions.

The day was just beautiful – small clouds floating languidly through blue skies, on a warm day with gentle winds – idyllic and, seemingly, perfect for a little kayaking adventure.

If you actually know what you’re doing.

I noticed, within fairly short order, that my kayak was pulling constantly to the left, and I had to do about 8 or 10 left side paddles for every 1 or 2 right side pulls just to keep my bow straight. I mentioned this to Cam and – as my boat didn’t have a rudder with pedals – he asked if my Skeg was fully unleashed.
“Huh? What’s a Skeg?” I asked, revealing glimpses of my pitiful lack of basic knowledge about kayaks and their proper functioning. “It’s like a fin on the bottom of your boat that you can raise or release – with that slider knob thing”

I jiggled and pushed the knob indicated but never felt assured that my efforts were truly working. “You should be ok until we get to the beach,” said Cam, “I’ll have a look at it then.” So, we carried on our merry way.

Without further issue or trouble (except for my extra left side paddling) we made it safely to Jug Beach, jumped out, hauled the kayaks up on the shore and found a soft sandy place to sit and enjoy our snacks. “God Cam, I love this place – I’m so glad we’re doing this, thanks for taking time out of your busy-Dad schedule to humour your old man.” “No problem, Dad, I always like getting out on the water…and taking a break from that busy-Dad routine works for me too.” We both chuckled.

Jug Island Beach is not, in fact, on Jug Island – both are quite small and the beach is situated a few hundred feet away on the mainland, at the foot of a trail that goes through Belcarra Park. There were a dozen or so people on the beach, most of which must’ve hiked the trail through Belcarra, as we were the only kayaks in sight. Snacks consisted of some chocolate covered almonds, an orange each and a bag or two of chips and cheezies for mindless munching.

After an hour or so of beachy bliss and conversation, it was time to head back. We turned the blue Kayak over so Cam could look at the Skeg and see if there was anything wrong with the control knob. After making sure that it could release and retract properly, Cam said, “Hey Dad, I’d like to paddle your kayak back to Deep Cove just to see if I have the same issue as you…see if everything is working properly, and you can take mine back…just be a little careful.. it’s kinda tippy.”

The words “kinda tippy” didn’t even register on my richter scale of worry or concern, as I was trading the smaller problematic kayak for a larger boat with a rudder and pedals. Plus, Cameron had just completed a successful crossing of the bay without incident – why should I even think for a moment that there might possibly be a problem. Lack of caution, bad risk management, an overriding optimistic world view that “everything will be alright, combined with “fatal invincible gullibility syndrome”, are personal traits that have not always served me well. I hopped into the yellow kayak, pushed off, turned around and shouted to Cam, “C’mon! Let’s go!”

“I’m not sure what Cam meant,” I thought to myself as I paddled along, “this boat seems just the same as the blue one, except for the left side pull…no tippy tippy at all.” We carried on in fine fashion heading straight across the bay, aiming very much directly at the small, charming village of Deep Cove, and the beach from whence we’d launched two hours prior. All felt good, all felt right…the blue sky, the sun, the warmth…and then, the slight increase in wind and wave activity as we left the safety of Jug Island Beach Bay and entered the unprotected waters of Indian Arm.

“Hmmm, ok,” I thought to myself, “a little windier and wavier out here in the middle of the chuck… I got this.” The openness and unprotected length of Indian Arm, contributed to the winds and waves that we hadn’t experienced on our way over…or, that I didn’t notice in my inattentive oblivion. And it was inconsistent…a wave…a lull…a gust of wind…no wind, dead calm. And then, the unexpected robust breeze combined with greater wave activity.

I’m not quite sure what to say about this last combination of wind & wave, but it was enough to wake me out of my complacency and – predictably – compel me do the wrong thing. Rather than bestowing control, my untrained answer to this ripple-gust was to throw my body weight into it just as it abated, resulting in me being the driving force of “tippiness” …I essentially, and effectively, threw myself out of my kayak, into the unexpectedly cold waters of Indian Arm.

The nice day was over; and a new reality descended upon us.

We’ve all jumped into lakes – or the ocean – and in fact, do so willingly on a warm summer day, to swim, play, splash and frolic. But we are not usually wearing leggings, sandals, a t-shirt, a windbreaker, life-preserver, glasses, a hat and carrying a wallet and keys in our pockets.

The kayak flipped on top of me as I plunged head-first into the chilly waters of Indian Arm. Without foreknowledge of this event, there was no time to pause and “take a breath” as one does prior to normal ocean dives. I swallowed salt water and flailed about as my mind raced in primitive instinct survival mode. I struggled out of the kayak – which luckily had no skirt to impede my exit – detected “up” and propelled myself towards the light. Bursting out of the water, surfacing, and spewing out whatever salt water had entered my lungs – coughing, sputtering, and then looking for something to hang onto…which, in this case was the overturned kayak. Regaining my breath, I looked around for Cam who had now spun around to come to my assistance, while I clung to the upturned aft of my “tippy yellow boat.”

“Well,” I said breathlessly to Cam, “that’s refreshing” “You OK Dad?” Cam replied. “Yeah, Jesus, didn’t expect that… bit of wind and wave and I guess I overcompensated by leaning into it too much…chucked myself overboard Cam!” I chuckled. I was grateful to realize that I hadn’t lost my glasses, so my vision was intact, but my favourite hat was gone, swirling around in the deeps of Deep Cove – perhaps winding up on the head of a passing seal.

Never having taken a kayak safety course, I had no actual idea how to effectively and successfully re-enter my bateau from this precarious position – but I had complete confidence in Cam’s experience and knowledge in this regard, to guide me step by step back into the safety of my craft. “Can you tell me how to get back into this thing?” I asked.

“No Dad, I don’t think that’s a good idea,” said Cam, “I brought this rope and I figure I’ll tie one end around myself, and the other end to your kayak, and tow you back in, as you hang onto the kayak.” Because of my complete confidence in Cam’s understanding of our situation and the safest way to do whatever needed to be done, I said, “OK Cam, let’s get at it…it’s a wee bit chilly out here.”

From my new perspective – soaking wet old dude, immersed up to his neck in cold water, clinging where possible to the slick & smooth surface of the upturned underbelly of the kayak – I could see the difficulty of trying to raise my, now wetter, heavier self, in a complex chin-up move to regain entry. Cam’s right, I thought, towing it is. “How we doing there lad?” I hollered through the wind and waves, “I’ll kick as best I can while you paddle – it should help out a bit, I hope.”

As my initial panic had subsided, because we had a plan, I started to analyze the situation we were in. We were almost equidistant between Deep Cove and Jug Island beach – about a kilometre either way – and Cameron was choosing to take us back to the beach we’d parted from 30 or 40-minutes prior because of the way the wind & waves were shaping up. My normal weight of 205 pounds had probably jumped to 220 with the wet clothing, this plus a 70- or 80-pound upturned kayak meant Cam was towing 300 pounds of dead weight…not an easy task under any circumstances. But he’s a brave strong lad, so we set off.

It wasn’t easy in any sense; we were still in the Indian Arm wind tunnel – where breezes come flowing down the valley unimpeded. Cam was using all his skill and strength to move us slowly towards our destination, and I was slowly getting colder and colder. It seemed – for a time – that Cam was steering us towards a wall of rock, with no effective place to land, but in retrospect, I think this was the effect of the winds pushing him off-course. He doubled down on his paddling and concentrated all his energy and effort to move us away from the rocks and towards the beach.

And then, seemingly out of nowhere, a diminutive 75-year-old Québécoise woman came beetling up towards us in her inflatable kayak that was powered by a small motor. As she approached, she hollered out, “Allo gentlemen!” You seem to be ‘aving some difficulty, would you like some ‘elp?” Both Cam and I immediately shouted, in unison, “Yes Please!!” through the wind and waves with voices either strained by effort or chattering slightly because of the cold.

Our Deus ex Machina, in the form of a small, feisty, woman named Joanne had arrived! Salvation! …almost.

As she threw Cameron her rope to attach to my kayak, I had momentary impatience with the process which seemed – to my increasingly numb body – to be taking too much time. “OK, let’s get going guys, Georgie is getting chilly!” “Yeah, yeah, we’re working on it…almost there,” came their pre-occupied reply. Once she was safely attached, off we went.

The additional help was noticeable immediately. I think we got lucky being discovered by someone with a motorized kayak, as this seemed to add stability of direction and speed of movement. I could see the beach getting closer, and this warmed my heart – if not yet my body.

Within about ten minutes we got close enough to the beach for me to let go of the kayak and float, swim, walk, stagger my way onto shore. My legs were too cold to stand effectively so, my exit from the sea was not terribly graceful as I crawled and dragged myself onshore – moving up far enough that I was able to flip over and lie on the warm dry sand.

The relief was palpable, as I just lay there on the beach in appreciation for Cam – and Joanne – who had likely just saved my life. And an extra nod to Cam for equipping me with a life preserver before we embarked on our trip. If I had been out there on my own – with just a life preserver – I am not certain if survival would have been guaranteed. Impossible to say.

But, the beach, the warmth, the slow recovery was sublime, as I gazed around with an enhanced appreciation for life, the beauty of nature, and the kindness of strangers. As I lay there recovering, a half dozen 30-somethings came running over with water and snacks to see if I needed anything, or if they could help in any way. I took their offers gladly, as a little bit of water and a few chocolate covered almonds were refreshing reminders of the beauty of kindness and existence.

After a few sips and treats I thanked them profusely and then – somewhat cautiously – got on my feet so I could hug Cam and Joanne and thank them both for “saving Dad.” We stood on the beach for a while, talking to Joanne and discussing what had just transpired. I looked at the kayaks and the distance across Indian Arm back to Deep Cove – and thought, I can’t get back in a kayak right now – if ever. I’d lost my sea-going mojo and couldn’t conceive of going through this same ordeal again.

“Cam, I’m sorry lad, but I’m not getting back in the kayak, so I won’t be able to help you get them back to Deep Cove.” Cam looked at the two kayaks and reflected on this new situation. “Hmm,” he pondered, “well, I can probably just tie the blue one behind me and tow it back…I guess.” Then Joanne spoke up, “Don’ worry Cam, I can ‘elp you tow it back across to Deep Cove…should be easy,” she said confidently.

“What are you going to do Dad?” Build a driftwood shack and live here on the beach?” We all laughed, as I thought about my limited options. Looking around, I noticed a trail that spilled out of the trees onto the beach a few hundred feet away. “You see that trail over there?” I asked. “Yeah,” he replied, “that’s the trail head through Belcarra Park – Nekita and I have hiked that a few times.” “Well, I imagine it eventually leads to a parking lot and a road which connects to the rest of the world…I’m going to hike through the woods and call you when I hit the parking lot.”

“Well then,” replied Cam, “you’ll need this.” Cam reached into his dry bag and pulled out my cell phone. “Oh yeah, great!” I said reaching for my phone, “Good idea stowing it Cam…it would be at the bottom of the bay if I’d had my way.”

I can’t begin to tell you how comforting it was to have access to my cell phone. Another level of reconnect with civilization and the world… an ability to fix the new problem at hand. “Ok, so here’s my thought,” I said to Cam, “when I hit the parking lot, would you be able to come and get me, or will I need to call an Uber?” “Uhh, yeah, Dad, I can come and get you,” said Cam, thinking and planning out loud, “gotta get the kayaks back across the Bay to Deep Cove, where the car is, then head over 2nd Narrows Bridge, backside of Burnaby Mountain, through Port Moody, Coquitlam, and up Belcarra Peninsula… probably going to take me 2 or 3 hours.” “OK, probably going to take me a couple of hours to hike through Belcarra…we’d better get moving, I know you’ve got kids to pick up…let’s go!”

Fortunately – despite my wet clothing – the day was warm and I didn’t feel hypothermic. I was experiencing a kind of post-traumatic high… a profound sense of appreciation for my surroundings, and a heightened awareness of my senses… the caress of a warm breeze, the beauty of light filtering through the trees as I walked the trail through Belcarra.

I was almost alone on the trail, with the exception of a few solo female joggers who looked sideways at the “old wet bedraggled guy” smiling gratefully and walking gently and carefully along the root and rock-strewn trail.

This was another net effect of my recent experience – a heightened level of caution and care as I wandered this trail, which was not without its own scattered dangers and difficulties…” Hmmm,” I thought, “I could easily slip on one of these roots, or trip on a rock and break a limb, or two. Probably not wise to be doing this solo either.” Paranoia? Wisdom? or just awareness? It felt good to be aware, careful, and self-preservant.

In this mildly cautious, yet blissful state, I continued hiking – only vaguely aware of time, projects, deadlines or obligations. It was just me, and nature… and of course, my cell phone. It was in this happy, blissful state that I came across a small party of 5 on their way to Jug Island Beach. Three of their party had broken away from a couple who had stopped, mid-hike, to have an argument. “There’s no way Trudeau could ever have been a good Prime Minister,” said the woman forcefully, “he was just a Drama Teacher!” “Oh yeah, well, at least he’s not a fascist totalitarian like Trump,” replied the man, emphatically.

Hearing this exchange broke my pleasant reverie and brought the world – that I had momentarily discarded – come galloping back. I stopped and looked at them both, thinking, “Christ, there’s literally no escaping this fucking conversation.” My stare, and disheveled look, caught their attention as they paused their argument long enough to turn towards me… expectantly. “Look where we are,” I said, gesturing to the majestic grove of trees which surrounded us, “we’re in the middle of this beautiful forest, embraced by nature…this solitude.” And then, lowering my voice, I said, with a slight growl, “Just…give….it…. up!” And walked away.

I heard the man laugh, and the woman say, with indignation, “I’ll discuss whatever I want!” as I slowly wandered on my way, out of rage range. “Man,” I thought, “this bloody debate can show up anywhere,” … as I imagined lying on an operating room table just before the anaesthetic kicks in with the ER doctor saying, “Nurse scalpel… can you believe what Trump said today?”

Walk walk walk, breathe, nature, breathe, focus, breathe, relax – and remember, you are one of the lucky ones, you didn’t contribute to Canada’s annual drowning statistic.

The last bit of my Belcarra hike was sublime and uneventful. After my blissful 2-hour forest hike, I spilled out onto Bedwell Bay Road across from the parking lot on Tum Tumay Wheuton Drive, which felt comforting, and was one more step towards normalcy.

Just as I was preparing to call Cameron to arrange pick up, I noticed a bus stop right across the street from the forest exit. “Hmm,” I thought, “fantastic, I’ll just access my Translink App and grab a bus… that’ll save Cam a ton of travel time. …hmm, cool! Only 5 minutes to arrival.” Realizing further, that I’d left my wallet in my Van near Cam’s home, and therefore had no bus pass or money, I remembered that I’d set my phone up to do VISA transactions, which would work for payment.

Feeling grateful for a return to more control.

I noticed a large white rock warming in the sun beside the Bus Stop, and wandered over to sit, ponder my – now – improving fortunes, and warm my damp ass. “I may not be great with a kayak,” I thought, “but I know how to navigate the urban environment with my trusty little cell.” I called Cam to meet me in Port Moody – saving him a 45-minute drive.

The beautiful day had returned.

Afterword:

Here is a brief rundown of the flurry of worrisome & tragic events of the last 4 months – each of which could be a story in and of itself – and my chronic need to add a touch of humour (I think) to all things written & observational, which gave rise to the title “Accidents, Illnesses, Death & Chicken Soup”.

May 20 – Fall out of Kayak and have a brush with death; June 15 – Friend Janis Dies; July 9 – Friend Deborah dies; July 31 – Friend Mary falls from a height and suffers multiple injuries; Aug 8 – Janis Celebration of Life; Aug. 17 – Deborah Celebration of Life; early August- friend Jim suffers a nasty broken toe; Mid-August friend Jennifer in hospital, with unknown illness; Aug 25 – friend & neighbour Billie suffers a massive Stroke and is hospitalized; and, on the same day Aug. 25 – friend Pat breaks hip and is hospitalized; Sept 6 – friend Eros dies; Sept. 15 – A visit with Billie in hospital;

…Sept. 17 and it’s feeling a little chilly out, Fall seems to be upon us. “Oh Yeah,” I thought, “I’ve got that frozen chicken breast in the back of the freezer… better cook that up before it gets freezer burn… perfect day for a bowl of my famous chicken vegetable soup.”

(PS. Re Cover Image: I did ask ChatGPT to create this image for me…so this is an Ai creation. I know that might offend some people (cartoonists for sure) but here’s the thing, I don’t have the skills to create this cartoon myself (without a lot of time and effort), nor the budget to do so. So, 15 seconds in the Ai machine and voila!…an image👍👍😊)

“The Sinister Samaritan – Part 2” (Episode 23 of “The Accidental Curator”

This is Part 2 of The Sinister Samaritan – following young George through a few “close call” encounters on the road through Ontario, Quebec and the Maritimes. Sometimes samaritans are not what they appear to be and this is a life lesson best learned young…if you have the wits to survive the encounters & learn from them.

https://www.theaccidentalcurator.ca/e/the-accidental-curator-episode-23-the-sinister-samaritan-part-2

The Accidental Curator – Episode 22 – The Sinister Samaritan – Part 1

I’ve just released a new – rather overdue – Podcast: “The Sinister Samaritan – Part 1″…and here is a brief descriptive:

Perhaps it wasn’t a good idea to part ways with his travelling companions and hitchhike alone…or was it? 

The Sinister Samaritan takes you on a road trip from Regina to Prince Edward Island and beyond in the early 70’s as young Georgie weaves his way between bliss and peril on the road. Rich descriptives and encounters abound, as the young traveller dodges dangers and embraces sublime growth experiences at the young age of 17.

This is Part 1 of The Sinister Samaritan with Part 2 soon to follow – stay tuned!

https://www.theaccidentalcurator.ca/e/the-accidental-curator-episode-22-the-sinister-samaritan-part-1

My second book of Short Stories, “Somewhere Nearby Soon” is now available

I did mention in my last post, “Glumjoy” (April 17) that my new book of short stories was…almost…available. I provided a link to copies on Amazon, but I did not at that time have any hard copies to distribute at Shavasana Gallery & Café, or in person which seem to be the 3 current strategies of my “Marketing Plan.” Well, the hard copies showed up last weekend and sales were relatively brisk – and already favourable so, I’ve put in a subsequent order for more copies which should be showing up next week.

If you didn’t catch it in my last post, here is the link to Amazon if you’d care to buy a copy online (Note: I haven’t yet created an eBook or an Audio book):

Or, if you are a denizen of Mayne Island, you can wander into my Gallery Café – 457 Village Bay Road – and pick up a copy (when I’m open😆) or contact me directly – 604-418-3846, or, gbathgate@telus.net – and I will mail you a copy, or hand it to you in person (depending on fate and circumstance). The book is $19.95, and runs around 209 pages (100 pages longer than book #1), and I seem to recall it will cost about $5 to have it mailed.

Here’s a little blurb, “About this Book”… “Somewhere Nearby Soon” picks you up from a 1950’s East Van neighbourhood, then immerses you in the “Hitchhiking, Hostels, Hippie Vans & Hair” culture as you make your way across Canada in 1972. Travel overland through Iran and Afghanistan in 1973 – when it was still safe to do so, then let your anxiety spike as you sit in your bureaucratic cubbyhole in Hull, Quebec in the early 80’s. Greet your long overdue epiphany from the back of your Camper Van – as you grab the steering wheel from the captain of the Titanic and steer the ship away from the looming iceberg, towards smoother waters. Without this blessing, it’s unlikely that the subsequent five stories – divided between the quirks of running an art gallery café on a small, charming island, to dealing with the idiosyncrasies of modern urban life in Vancouver – would have come into being, and for this I am immensely grateful.
Add a few tablespoons of sweetener, a dollop of creative non-fiction, a generous helping of self-deprecatory humour, and a teaspoon of fiction for plausible deniability – now toss it all in a blender, turn it on high, and you have “Somewhere Nearby Soon.” Enjoy!”

One other thing I did recently was to – finally – create an eBook for my first book, “All Roads at Any Time” (this proved to be much more difficult and frustrating than I expected with many, many questions and directions from my new friend Chat GPT) here’s the link (only $5.99 for my Kindle loving friends):

So, Georgie hasn’t been idle, and despite completing these two projects, their completion just seems to make room for other overdue projects that have been patiently waiting…will this madness never end? 😱 (don’t answer that🤣)

I love you…buy my book😊

George Bathgate

Glumjoy

“To dream the impossible dream, To fight the unbeatable foe,

To bear with unbearable sorrow, to run where the brave dare not go”

…etc etc…(“The Impossible Dream” composed by Mitch Leigh, written by Joe Darion, and sung by 72 well known musicians, groups and orchestras since its inception in 1965.)

For some unknown reason, this song came into my head yesterday and, rather than admire its powerful inspirational message, my first thought was to deride its exhortation to impossibility. It showed up on my internal playlist of long-forgotten tunes (the Andy Williams version I think), when I was stuck on ways to begin this Blog, and my first peurile thought was to mock it. But then I looked into the full lyrics, origins (writers & composers) and musicians that have covered it (thanks Wikipedia) and realized that it may have touched a lot of hearts (mine included) and that it would be disrespectful to ridicule a song that was sung by Aretha Franklin at Rosa Parks funeral.

My knee-jerk reaction to “Impossible Dream” lyrics as an object of derision, came from the initial thought that its unrealistic call to strength and overcoming all odds just hasn’t worked out and here we are again – seemingly fighting unbeatable foes with our impossible dreams and resultant unbearable sorrow. But who am I to say, perhaps it just needs to be reworked into a Taylor Swift repertoire for a younger audience.

Glumjoy…I seem to go through this after every major project or marathon of energy/focus – I’ve just finished self-publishing my second book, “Somewhere Nearby Soon” and now I’ve been left devoid of inspiration or direction. Inert. Throw in a few ill-timed and stressful life-complexities and I find that I’ve landed at the feet of my new hybrid word “Glumjoy”. But, now that I’ve got Glum nailed down, I know that it is my task to find joy. Sometimes it arrives freely and independently of my efforts (thank God…literally🙏), but most often it needs a little encouragement, or effort. For me, at least, a creative project helps, so doing this little bit of Journal/Blog writing and preparing for a long-overdue podcast fill the void and provide a little creative direction after the book marathon.

Going through the last 6 months of photos helps too. Invariably, the photos we take are usually of happy moments – people smiling, enjoyable events, gatherings, and other notable life moments that can lift our spirits. Here are a few such events that reminded me just how blessed I am, and provided some of the joy that resides in our dual nature Glumjoy world.

A few photos from Shavasana Gallery & Café…friends & patrons hanging out for coffee and conversation; Anita McCamley working at Shavasana & providing her delicious “La Maison Rouge” baked goods; Good friends hanging out and playing tunes at our weekly jams; a collection of masks that were kindly donated to the Gallery

Grandpa George & Andréas; Cameron & Andréas at Havana; Sister Chris at The Sylvia; Cathy and George on Feb 14 with “The Xmas Tree” that we liked too much to take down; the Canine Coffee Klatch at my local Starbucks in Kits; Mateo’s 3rd B’Day and again with his brother in the pumpkin patch.❤️

And, one of my favourite pics of Cathy holding newborn Andréas, with a very happy little Mateo joining us on the couch

So, what is it? Half-full or half-empty? In fairness to all the “cup half-empty” people…it truly is both – this metaphor has traditionally picked on the half-empty crowd as being overly pessimistic…but to be fair, it should be distributed a bit more evenly, and ideally would allow all sides of the issue to arrive at a balanced perspective…Glumjoy👍

Oh.. And before I forget!… here’s the little beast which has occupied so much of my time of late, my second book of short stories, “Somewhere Nearby Soon.” This copy you see here is proof #3 (the first 2 had flaws which I and Stephen Cropper (cover design)

corrected)…I just ordered 30 copies this morning so hope to have some available at Shavasana Gallery by late April/Early May…or, if you’re interested, and are just too darn excited to wait that long🤣 you can order it through Amazon, here:

Cheers!…but, realistically so🤣

George

Attach Meaning

The disapproving eye stared up at me from among the wood grain of the desk at the local Starbucks, upon which I worked. Heavy-lidded and critical it peered through the fog of supposed productivity and busyness I had shrouded myself in and saw truth saturated in too many Pike Place Grandes, and too much addictive internet-tripping behaviour. Its wooden gaze was eternal. All-knowing and judgemental and yet, surprisingly compassionate and forgiving…like that irritating aunt who aunt-splains what you are doing wrong, what you should be doing, and how they – because of their longer life and worldly experience, having lived in Turtleford, Saskatchewan, like, for-ev-er – would do it better. All swaddled in gossamer, love and little candies left over from last year’s Halloween.

“You know you struggle a bit in October and November Georgie (she still refers to me in the diminutive, even though I turned 70 this year…but I kinda like it). You just wrapped up a very busy season and you have all these expectations and unrealistic goals that might be hard to fulfil as the days get colder, shorter, dark & cloudy, and that S.A.D. thing you talk about kicks in. You need to diminish your expectations, give yourself more realistic goals, increase your Vitamin D, or come and live in Turtleford with Bill and I where it’s sunny all winter long. Or at the very least, just sit down and finish this silly blog-thing that you talk about that seems to be holding you back from tackling the other equally questionable goals you’ve set for yourself. You should’ve gotten into sugar-beet farming like your grandparents” Invariably, aunt Agatha drifts from the gossamer to the guilt-inducing judgemental which doesn’t help my November blahs. I don’t engage but choose to cherry pick one bit of advice that fits my confirmation bias – finish the silly blog thing.

Cathartic therapeutic and healing, writing – like physical exercise – releases endorphins and other feel-good hormones like dopamine & serotonin, which vastly improves ones mood. For better or worse, I have this organizational thing where I divide my year into about 6 months of busy – Shavasana Art Gallery & Café ( https://shavasana.ca/ ) – and save the other six for “slower season” creative projects/goals that are on the ever-present list, which are (in no particular order) do Podcast, write a seasonal wrap-up Blog, write last story of 12 in my second Book of Short Stories, begin that novel that I’ve been avoiding for, oh like, 30+ years, rake the leaves, etc. Well, the podcast https://www.theaccidentalcurator.ca/e/the-accidental-curator-episode-21-christmas-in-afghanistan/ and the leaves got done, so now I’m down to taking advice from an internal, wise, finger-wagging Aunt, and attaching meaning to apparitions and “signs” (like baleful wooden eyes) that I find along this winding unpredictable path.

It’s been a challenging, stressful year – one of the worst in recent memory – and, it’s not over yet so I’m keeping my fingers crossed. Again, in no particular order: a special cancer prevention skin treatment for my forehead and nose which left me with grotesque ravaged skin for several weeks; 6 eviction notices (which turned out to be strongly worded demands to vacate)from 50% of our landlord/property ownership; a visit by the Health Inspector (1st time in a decade) which demanded unwanted & unexpected change & compliance; a flurry of unwanted and unexpected car problems – cracked block, broken mirror, dead battery, and a rainy night side-swipe while parked, which collectively rendered our car almost worthless and in need of replacement.

And believe me, I know that these problems are just one tiny insignificant sprinkle on a giant sundae of problems besetting the world right now. Knowing this though doesn’t diminish the stress – it amplifies it.

And it seems that some of the meaning that I attach to “lucky signs and omens” needs to be rethought after my flurry of encounters with random harbingers of good luck….

The year started with a White Deer which is seen by many cultures as a symbol of good luck or significant change. Many Indigenous groups see the white deer as sacred and a portent of good fortune. The Celts viewed them as messengers from the “other world.” I also tend to notice quite a few Heart Shapes in nature, and elsewhere – which I consider to be a good thing – and saw this leaf and root as further positive indicators along the way. This was followed by a “Queen of Hearts” card lying randomly on my path which can represent many things including love, passion, nurturing, power, strength, femininity and emotional intelligence – all very positive things, of course, unless you choose to associate the “Q of ❤️” with Disney’s Alice in Wonderland character who is a tyrannical figure with a short temper and a love for beheadings!….we must be very selective where we choose to attach meaning…and the “6 of Clubs”? this might be the “wild card” thrown in for perspective, as it can represent “responsibility, seriousness, and the struggle between a sense of duty and inertia, or a tendency to resist change”…this might be a card that Aunt Agatha tossed along the path to exhort me to action over lethargy.

But I think my favourite messenger this year was my little dragonfly spirit guide, who showed up a few months after my skin treatment and gave me the all-clear on my nose – and also hung around long enough to give me an encouraging hug and whisper a few words of good advice in my ear…

And, just so we don’t forget, perhaps one of the most important and enduring messages I’ve encountered this year – to which I don’t have to attach meaning, as the meaning is quite clear…

Gratitude – I have a little difficulty with the word “anything”, as that can be open to some pretty broad interpretation but, even when we have difficulties it’s good to pause and reflect on some of the blessings in our lives and express gratitude to the people, places, experiences…or dragonflies that arrived at the right moment.❤️

George

15 Minutes of Fame

Ok Ok…I’m being a bit facetious with the “15 Minutes of Fame” reference – I was interviewed recently by a journalist named Ben Bulmer of InfoNews (Okanagan based online news site), as he was doing some research for an article on William Bernard Lepine. As there is limited information out there on WBL, Ben borrowed elements from my story “The Mass Murderer and the Old Dutch Potato Chip Truck” and stuck in a couple of photos (youngish Georgie and his older, wiser counterpart)…so, if you haven’t heard the story before (or seen a picture of me with long flowing red hair)…have a read** or, better still, buy my book!😂

**PS…if you click on the InfoNews link to reach the Story/Interview you may have so subscribe with your email…too much hassle? Fuggedaboudit!🙏😊

The Accidental Curator – Episode 21 – Christmas in Afghanistan

After a very busy 6 month hiatus, I have finally buckled down and produced another podcast. Here’s a little story from my travels overseas in the early 70’s, “Christmas in Afghanistan”, and a wee descriptor:

There was a brief window in time when it was safe to travel to Afghanistan as a tourist, or curious wanderer. December 1973 was just such a window. Here is a story of 8 young travellers following the “Hippie Trail” as it was known, on their way overland to India, with a sojourn through Afghanistan which led to Christmas in Kabul. Join them for this unique trip from another era through the “Graveyard of Empires.”  

Here it is, just click on this link:

https://www.theaccidentalcurator.ca/e/the-accidental-curator-episode-21-christmas-in-afghanistan/

Hope you enjoy it!

Cheers!

George Bathgate

Well…at least the Widowmaker is gone

I was so worried about the branch, I didn’t notice the tree.

It felt like the start of a typical day at my little Gallery Café on Mayne Island: get up at 7:15, throw legs over side of bed, attach clothing, make bed, wander around the gallery yawning and stretching, make a cup of coffee, cut up and eat an apple, prepare two large containers of coffee, make sure all baked goods are displayed nicely, sweep the floors, turn on a little music, and then – usually around 8:30, if time permits – sit on the comfy couch with my second cup of coffee and remaining apple pieces, open up my laptop, and immerse myself in the misery & trivia of the world.

Sip sip, nibble nibble, “Hmmm, I wonder what’s going on overseas?” scroll, select, click, “God, that’s just horrifying! That’s too depressing to look at.”… “I wonder what’s going on down south?” scroll, select, click, “Oh God, how is that even possible? How can he continue to get away with that shit?” “Hmmm, that was a soul-sucking experience, maybe a little Social Media,” flip, select, scroll, scroll, scroll, “Hmm…that’s banal…that’s useless…Jesus, so much advertising,” delete, delete, delete, “hmm…friends on vacation👍…oh, somebody famous died😢…forgettable bits of personal growth “meme advice”🤔 …oh look, haha! A cat running around in a batman costume!” 😆 Sip, gulp, sip, nibble, giggle, nibble.

And then… cccCCCCCCRRRRAAACCCKKK SSMMAASSHH!!!

My little building is surrounded by trees. Most of them are far enough away to provide ample light, and safety from, these giant majestic creatures. But there are 4 massive beasts which are tall enough and heavy enough which, if they released their grip on the earth, could come hurtling down and make matchsticks of the Gallery, and pudding of myself.

I have been in the vicinity of several tree crashes in my dozen years on Mayne Island and it always starts with the initial “crack” which grows in intensity – depending on the girth of the tree and the trajectory of its fall. Upon hearing this sound, our innate reptilian fear mechanism triggers an immediate sharpening of the senses, with a quick hunch, head spin, and echolocation to determine – in very short order – if we are going to die or if we have time for a second cup of coffee.

Ka thump! Rumble rustle rustle rustle…

Hmmm, dodged another one, I wonder if there’s one out there with my name on it? Maybe I’ll have a refill and go out into the yard and see what happened.

Realizing that the peril of imminent crushing is not happening, the reptile scurries back into his cave to await the next fear trigger.

Exiting the front door, I could see right away that it wasn’t one of the four old-growth fir trees that worried me most, and that none of my immediate neighbours had been pancaked. “Must be in the back yard,” I thought.

Wandering around the side of the gallery – coffee cup in hand – and venturing into the back yard, I immediately came upon the scene of the accident. Although it was a lovely warm day in August, with not a hint of wind, one of the old, gorgeous 40 or 50-foot-tall maples had decided to call it a day and come crashing down to earth. Its 2- or 3-foot-wide trunk and broad canopy fell across a well-used path that all of we occupants used regularly, and landed within 30 or 40 feet of my Gallery Café, and my little outdoor garden. Luckily, there but for the grace of God (and the seeming randomness of events) no one was hurt – and it even had the decency to avoid crushing our compost container, which would have been tragic.

Placing my coffee cup on top of the compost lid and waving away the little fruit flies – always a futile gesture – I wandered over to the mass of branches, limbs and trunks to get a closer look at the debris field for causes and results.

“Hmmm, looks like it broke off right at the base and has left its sister trunk still standing,” I thought. The “sister” was an equally imposing giant maple joined at a shared 6-foot-wide mother base, leaning perilously toward neighbour Billie’s cabin. Getting down on hands and knees and navigating through the tangle of branches and shattered limbs I could see what appeared to be a large hollow cavity inside the trunk, filled with rot and the remains of an abandoned beehive, which must’ve contributed to the collapse.

And of course, no amateur arborist report would be complete nowadays without a few snaps from the iPhone:

Turning now to the debris field and the mass of leaves, twigs, and branches which blocked our access to the lower part of the property, I thought, “Gee this is going to be a big cleanup, lots of time, toil and tools, I’d better call Dave.” We tenants of the property are lucky to have Dave & Eva as landlords, luckier still that they were both over on Mayne spending a little time on their 10-acre parcel of waterfront bliss. But managing a large chunk of land is not a walk in the park – so to speak – as there are always chores and work to be done. This new, unexpected problem was but one example.

After calling Dave, who assured me he’d come up directly with some appropriate tools and tackle the problem, I stood for one last look at this majestic, fallen tree, which I’d watched through 12 years of seasons from my kitchen window, when it dawned on me…the Widowmaker is gone!

A widowmaker (or “Fool Killer” as Mr. Google also calls them🤣) is a term used to describe a broken branch that is suspended in the air and stuck on a part of another tree. I learned this term from my brief stint working for Macmillan Bloedel, in Port Hardy back in the 70’s. These branches can be extremely dangerous and can fall at any time posing a lethal threat to anyone who might be standing underneath. I became aware of the widowmaker, hanging off this maple tree, when I first arrived on the property 12 years prior, and always made a point of pointing it out to anyone using the trail or doing work in the vicinity.

I would miss that old beautiful maple…but at least the widowmaker is gone🙏

And, true to form, Industrious Dave came – armed only with a saw – and proceeded to remove all the debris that was blocking our communal path. A beautiful fall bonfire awaits, and as Billie observed, a lovely supply of free firewood to keep her warm during those chilly winter nights

The Accidental Curator – Episode 20 – The Panic Attack

Here’s episode 20 of The Accidental Curator Podcast – The Panic Attack. Unlike my last two podcast posts, I chose not to use an Ai intro and have laboured intensely using actual thinkin’ power to come up with the compelling and gripping intro which follows:

“Ottawa, 1980’s – a young man, balancing his new wave musician aspirations with his soul-crushing job in the Federal Bureaucracy – has an unexpected epiphany of sorts via a Panic Attack.

Written with fondness for the era, friends, and situations he found himself in – George uses self-deprecatory humour to drive this fun journey through the pubs, bedrooms, and basement jams of his mid 20’s. While showing us some insights into the less heralded work as a Communications Officer at the Urea Formaldehyde Foam Insulation Centre, in our nations capital during the New Wave era.”

Have a listen here:

https://www.theaccidentalcurator.ca/e/the-accidental-curator-episode-20-the-panic-attack/