Attach Meaning

The disapproving eye stared up at me from among the wood grain of the desk at the local Starbucks, upon which I worked. Heavy-lidded and critical it peered through the fog of supposed productivity and busyness I had shrouded myself in and saw truth saturated in too many Pike Place Grandes, and too much addictive internet-tripping behaviour. Its wooden gaze was eternal. All-knowing and judgemental and yet, surprisingly compassionate and forgiving…like that irritating aunt who aunt-splains what you are doing wrong, what you should be doing, and how they – because of their longer life and worldly experience, having lived in Turtleford, Saskatchewan, like, for-ev-er – would do it better. All swaddled in gossamer, love and little candies left over from last year’s Halloween.

“You know you struggle a bit in October and November Georgie (she still refers to me in the diminutive, even though I turned 70 this year…but I kinda like it). You just wrapped up a very busy season and you have all these expectations and unrealistic goals that might be hard to fulfil as the days get colder, shorter, dark & cloudy, and that S.A.D. thing you talk about kicks in. You need to diminish your expectations, give yourself more realistic goals, increase your Vitamin D, or come and live in Turtleford with Bill and I where it’s sunny all winter long. Or at the very least, just sit down and finish this silly blog-thing that you talk about that seems to be holding you back from tackling the other equally questionable goals you’ve set for yourself. You should’ve gotten into sugar-beet farming like your grandparents” Invariably, aunt Agatha drifts from the gossamer to the guilt-inducing judgemental which doesn’t help my November blahs. I don’t engage but choose to cherry pick one bit of advice that fits my confirmation bias – finish the silly blog thing.

Cathartic therapeutic and healing, writing – like physical exercise – releases endorphins and other feel-good hormones like dopamine & serotonin, which vastly improves ones mood. For better or worse, I have this organizational thing where I divide my year into about 6 months of busy – Shavasana Art Gallery & Café ( https://shavasana.ca/ ) – and save the other six for “slower season” creative projects/goals that are on the ever-present list, which are (in no particular order) do Podcast, write a seasonal wrap-up Blog, write last story of 12 in my second Book of Short Stories, begin that novel that I’ve been avoiding for, oh like, 30+ years, rake the leaves, etc. Well, the podcast https://www.theaccidentalcurator.ca/e/the-accidental-curator-episode-21-christmas-in-afghanistan/ and the leaves got done, so now I’m down to taking advice from an internal, wise, finger-wagging Aunt, and attaching meaning to apparitions and “signs” (like baleful wooden eyes) that I find along this winding unpredictable path.

It’s been a challenging, stressful year – one of the worst in recent memory – and, it’s not over yet so I’m keeping my fingers crossed. Again, in no particular order: a special cancer prevention skin treatment for my forehead and nose which left me with grotesque ravaged skin for several weeks; 6 eviction notices (which turned out to be strongly worded demands to vacate)from 50% of our landlord/property ownership; a visit by the Health Inspector (1st time in a decade) which demanded unwanted & unexpected change & compliance; a flurry of unwanted and unexpected car problems – cracked block, broken mirror, dead battery, and a rainy night side-swipe while parked, which collectively rendered our car almost worthless and in need of replacement.

And believe me, I know that these problems are just one tiny insignificant sprinkle on a giant sundae of problems besetting the world right now. Knowing this though doesn’t diminish the stress – it amplifies it.

And it seems that some of the meaning that I attach to “lucky signs and omens” needs to be rethought after my flurry of encounters with random harbingers of good luck….

The year started with a White Deer which is seen by many cultures as a symbol of good luck or significant change. Many Indigenous groups see the white deer as sacred and a portent of good fortune. The Celts viewed them as messengers from the “other world.” I also tend to notice quite a few Heart Shapes in nature, and elsewhere – which I consider to be a good thing – and saw this leaf and root as further positive indicators along the way. This was followed by a “Queen of Hearts” card lying randomly on my path which can represent many things including love, passion, nurturing, power, strength, femininity and emotional intelligence – all very positive things, of course, unless you choose to associate the “Q of ❤️” with Disney’s Alice in Wonderland character who is a tyrannical figure with a short temper and a love for beheadings!….we must be very selective where we choose to attach meaning…and the “6 of Clubs”? this might be the “wild card” thrown in for perspective, as it can represent “responsibility, seriousness, and the struggle between a sense of duty and inertia, or a tendency to resist change”…this might be a card that Aunt Agatha tossed along the path to exhort me to action over lethargy.

But I think my favourite messenger this year was my little dragonfly spirit guide, who showed up a few months after my skin treatment and gave me the all-clear on my nose – and also hung around long enough to give me an encouraging hug and whisper a few words of good advice in my ear…

And, just so we don’t forget, perhaps one of the most important and enduring messages I’ve encountered this year – to which I don’t have to attach meaning, as the meaning is quite clear…

Gratitude – I have a little difficulty with the word “anything”, as that can be open to some pretty broad interpretation but, even when we have difficulties it’s good to pause and reflect on some of the blessings in our lives and express gratitude to the people, places, experiences…or dragonflies that arrived at the right moment.❤️

George

15 Minutes of Fame

Ok Ok…I’m being a bit facetious with the “15 Minutes of Fame” reference – I was interviewed recently by a journalist named Ben Bulmer of InfoNews (Okanagan based online news site), as he was doing some research for an article on William Bernard Lepine. As there is limited information out there on WBL, Ben borrowed elements from my story “The Mass Murderer and the Old Dutch Potato Chip Truck” and stuck in a couple of photos (youngish Georgie and his older, wiser counterpart)…so, if you haven’t heard the story before (or seen a picture of me with long flowing red hair)…have a read** or, better still, buy my book!😂

**PS…if you click on the InfoNews link to reach the Story/Interview you may have so subscribe with your email…too much hassle? Fuggedaboudit!🙏😊

Well…at least the Widowmaker is gone

I was so worried about the branch, I didn’t notice the tree.

It felt like the start of a typical day at my little Gallery Café on Mayne Island: get up at 7:15, throw legs over side of bed, attach clothing, make bed, wander around the gallery yawning and stretching, make a cup of coffee, cut up and eat an apple, prepare two large containers of coffee, make sure all baked goods are displayed nicely, sweep the floors, turn on a little music, and then – usually around 8:30, if time permits – sit on the comfy couch with my second cup of coffee and remaining apple pieces, open up my laptop, and immerse myself in the misery & trivia of the world.

Sip sip, nibble nibble, “Hmmm, I wonder what’s going on overseas?” scroll, select, click, “God, that’s just horrifying! That’s too depressing to look at.”… “I wonder what’s going on down south?” scroll, select, click, “Oh God, how is that even possible? How can he continue to get away with that shit?” “Hmmm, that was a soul-sucking experience, maybe a little Social Media,” flip, select, scroll, scroll, scroll, “Hmm…that’s banal…that’s useless…Jesus, so much advertising,” delete, delete, delete, “hmm…friends on vacation👍…oh, somebody famous died😢…forgettable bits of personal growth “meme advice”🤔 …oh look, haha! A cat running around in a batman costume!” 😆 Sip, gulp, sip, nibble, giggle, nibble.

And then… cccCCCCCCRRRRAAACCCKKK SSMMAASSHH!!!

My little building is surrounded by trees. Most of them are far enough away to provide ample light, and safety from, these giant majestic creatures. But there are 4 massive beasts which are tall enough and heavy enough which, if they released their grip on the earth, could come hurtling down and make matchsticks of the Gallery, and pudding of myself.

I have been in the vicinity of several tree crashes in my dozen years on Mayne Island and it always starts with the initial “crack” which grows in intensity – depending on the girth of the tree and the trajectory of its fall. Upon hearing this sound, our innate reptilian fear mechanism triggers an immediate sharpening of the senses, with a quick hunch, head spin, and echolocation to determine – in very short order – if we are going to die or if we have time for a second cup of coffee.

Ka thump! Rumble rustle rustle rustle…

Hmmm, dodged another one, I wonder if there’s one out there with my name on it? Maybe I’ll have a refill and go out into the yard and see what happened.

Realizing that the peril of imminent crushing is not happening, the reptile scurries back into his cave to await the next fear trigger.

Exiting the front door, I could see right away that it wasn’t one of the four old-growth fir trees that worried me most, and that none of my immediate neighbours had been pancaked. “Must be in the back yard,” I thought.

Wandering around the side of the gallery – coffee cup in hand – and venturing into the back yard, I immediately came upon the scene of the accident. Although it was a lovely warm day in August, with not a hint of wind, one of the old, gorgeous 40 or 50-foot-tall maples had decided to call it a day and come crashing down to earth. Its 2- or 3-foot-wide trunk and broad canopy fell across a well-used path that all of we occupants used regularly, and landed within 30 or 40 feet of my Gallery Café, and my little outdoor garden. Luckily, there but for the grace of God (and the seeming randomness of events) no one was hurt – and it even had the decency to avoid crushing our compost container, which would have been tragic.

Placing my coffee cup on top of the compost lid and waving away the little fruit flies – always a futile gesture – I wandered over to the mass of branches, limbs and trunks to get a closer look at the debris field for causes and results.

“Hmmm, looks like it broke off right at the base and has left its sister trunk still standing,” I thought. The “sister” was an equally imposing giant maple joined at a shared 6-foot-wide mother base, leaning perilously toward neighbour Billie’s cabin. Getting down on hands and knees and navigating through the tangle of branches and shattered limbs I could see what appeared to be a large hollow cavity inside the trunk, filled with rot and the remains of an abandoned beehive, which must’ve contributed to the collapse.

And of course, no amateur arborist report would be complete nowadays without a few snaps from the iPhone:

Turning now to the debris field and the mass of leaves, twigs, and branches which blocked our access to the lower part of the property, I thought, “Gee this is going to be a big cleanup, lots of time, toil and tools, I’d better call Dave.” We tenants of the property are lucky to have Dave & Eva as landlords, luckier still that they were both over on Mayne spending a little time on their 10-acre parcel of waterfront bliss. But managing a large chunk of land is not a walk in the park – so to speak – as there are always chores and work to be done. This new, unexpected problem was but one example.

After calling Dave, who assured me he’d come up directly with some appropriate tools and tackle the problem, I stood for one last look at this majestic, fallen tree, which I’d watched through 12 years of seasons from my kitchen window, when it dawned on me…the Widowmaker is gone!

A widowmaker (or “Fool Killer” as Mr. Google also calls them🤣) is a term used to describe a broken branch that is suspended in the air and stuck on a part of another tree. I learned this term from my brief stint working for Macmillan Bloedel, in Port Hardy back in the 70’s. These branches can be extremely dangerous and can fall at any time posing a lethal threat to anyone who might be standing underneath. I became aware of the widowmaker, hanging off this maple tree, when I first arrived on the property 12 years prior, and always made a point of pointing it out to anyone using the trail or doing work in the vicinity.

I would miss that old beautiful maple…but at least the widowmaker is gone🙏

And, true to form, Industrious Dave came – armed only with a saw – and proceeded to remove all the debris that was blocking our communal path. A beautiful fall bonfire awaits, and as Billie observed, a lovely supply of free firewood to keep her warm during those chilly winter nights

Anarchist Mountain

Although Mike and I were still tripping on acid, our paranoia receded as we put miles between ourselves and “the scene” at Gyro Park and Lakeshore Beach in Penticton. We fled south and now we were grinding up a narrow 2 lane road, west of Penticton, navigating the hairpins in the gathering dark, in the back of a ’52 GMC pickup. We were getting as far away from Penticton as we could, so the offer of a lift, in a truck full of hippies, was the Deus ex machina we were hoping for, and eagerly accepted. We were being spirited off to the Similkameen Vallery and the orchard town of Keremeos…while escaping the anarchy of the Big Peach and Okanagan Beach, and the youth culture mayhem that reigned there in the summer of ’72.

My high school chum Mike, and I, had left the comforts of our middle-class lives in Victoria a week earlier, to embark on a cross-Canada hitchhiking adventure. We were only 17, but in the halcyon days of the early 70’s in Canada – where nothing could go wrong – my ever-trusting & loving parents, Bob & Elsie, felt confident enough in our judgement and abilities, to drive us up the Fraser Valley and drop us at the side of the Trans Canada Highway, at exit 138 near Popkum*, on the first leg of our journey. (*Popkum, a First Nations Reserve near Bridal Falls, is a word derived from the Halq’emeylem word Pópkw’em, which means “puffballs”)

“You be safe honey,” said my mother as we got out of dad’s light green ’62 Comet, “you know that your dad & I are going to miss you.” “We’ll be OK Mom,” I assured her, “I’ll call you when I get to Calgary…and we’re meeting Shaun in 10 days or so in Kelowna.” “Look out for each other,” advised my father, as we assembled our backpacks on the side of the road, “and here’s a little something to help out,” as he slipped me a twenty. I smiled and thanked them both as we hugged goodbye. They gave Mike a hug too, hopped back in the Comet, waved, and were gone.

“I like your mom & dad,” said Mike, “they’re super nice – my dad got angry with me, and mom cried when I told them I was going hitchhiking.” “Yeah, they’re pretty good,” I replied, “they never get angry, mom’s a great cook and dad’s always cracking jokes…hey, we should grab our stuff and move to a better spot – hard for cars to stop here.”

It was July 6, 1972, and, beyond some vague notion of hitchhiking to Calgary (for no particular reason, according to my travel diary), and then meeting our friend Shaun in Kelowna, ten days hence – we were as free as proverbial birds, and at leisure to go wherever the winds blew us.

We had no maps, and quite often when catching a lift, would just give the driver our ultimate destination – in this case Calgary – in hopes of a home run. Most rides were of shorter duration and distance, but on rare occasions, home runs were hit, and we’d spend many hours – or days – with complete strangers willing to share their time, space, and life stories with two young long-haired hitchhikers.

The driver of our very first lift, when informed of where we were headed said, “Well, I’m not going that far, but I can get you beyond Hope… maybe as far as Spuzzum or Hell’s Gate.” “We’re trying to find a place to sleep tonight,” said Mike, “do you know if any of those places have hostels?” “Hope probably does,” he replied, “but you won’t find much in Spuzzum, or Hell’s Gate…they’re pretty small.”

We took the lift to Hope, and, as it was getting late in the afternoon and the driver had obligations up the Fraser Canyon, we decided to hop out at the corner of Highway 1 and Wallace in downtown Hope – figuring we were savvy enough to find the hostel on our own. “Downtown Hope” is somewhat of an oxymoron, for in 1972 it was a sleepy village of perhaps 1,000 people with a small collection of businesses and homes. Before we had wandered far, a truck carrying half a dozen young hippies, pulled up and the driver leaned out his window and asked, “Hey, do you guys want supper at the hostel?” “Sure!” we both chimed in, “OK, climb aboard,” he said.

The hostel system in the late 60’s and early 70’s was extensive and accommodating – mostly to deal with the explosion of curious baby boomers who had hit the road – but in Canada, they also provided temporary homes & work for the large number of draft dodgers who’d crossed the 49th to escape the war in Vietnam. Our driver, and most of the workers at the hostel were Americans who’d fled the draft.

Mike and I made small talk with the other hitchhikers and were soon delivered to the hostel – a collection of khaki-coloured canvas tents in a muddy field on the outskirts of town. The kitchen and dining room were situated in larger army-green field tents staffed by older long-haired hippies slaving over hot stoves and prep areas to feed the assorted 20-or-so unwashed kids. We grabbed chairs and pulled up to the long wooden dining table – which was luckily situated on a plywood floor to avoid sinking into the mud. Dinner comprised of a tuna casserole, and some kind of salad, which, according to my journal, was “made with yucky organic food.” Not terribly appreciative for a cash-strapped young man receiving a ride, a bed, and a free meal!

Although, I only gave this first hosteling experience a “one star” rating, it didn’t ultimately dissuade me from tracking down and enjoying hostels all-across Canada over the next several months. On this night however, Mike & I looked at each other, our half-eaten meals, and the rickety cots awaiting us in our drafty, mosquito-infested tents, and decided that perhaps we’d be better off taking our chances elsewhere, so we got up, excused ourselves, thanked the staff, grabbed our backpacks, and began wandering east on the Old Hope Princeton Highway which was nearby.

We threw our thumbs out as we walked, trying vainly to catch a lift, but by this time, the sun was starting to get low on the horizon and the traffic was thinning out, so we decided to look for a place to sleep for the night.

Most young hitchhikers, like ourselves, were “sleep opportunists,” trying to locate the most favourable situation for a place to sleep on a nightly basis. The range of safety and comfort was fairly broad, and over the next few months, would include, in descending order: hostels; beds in the homes of kind, generous people; the floors or couches of slightly less-kind people; abandoned buildings and construction sites; back seats, or fold-out beds in cars or vans; parks, fields, forests, and, beaches…and lastly; offers from those with hidden – or blatantly uninvited – agendas.

Hostels were definitely first choice, as they came with food, a bed, and a “scene,” and were remarkably inexpensive. Everything else could be considered “sleeping rough” but, if done with a friend was usually fun, and all part of the learning curve of how to survive while on the road.

On this night – our first night on the road – we had rejected the hostel, preferring instead to try our luck elsewhere, and, as luck would have it, wound up sleeping rough in a vacant house that was under construction a few miles down the road, east of Hope. Construction sites were preferred to fields, forests and parks, as they provided a modicum of privacy, and protection from the elements and creatures of the night. According to my journal, however, this protection did not include mosquitoes, which were “really bad, lousy sleep, 40 bites on one arm, thought they were measles.”

Our new circadian rhythms kicked in almost immediately, and on this, our first morning on the road, we got up at 6:30am due to: acute hunger, the bright, morning light streaming in through the uncurtained windows, and the discomfort of lying on a plywood floor in a thin sleeping bag without benefit of a foamy – covered in mosquito bites. No more late-night TV, queen-sized beds in climate-controlled surroundings, and fridges and cupboards brimming with readily accessible food. All habits and comforts are gone, and we are faced with the daily task of solving basic human needs and desires in new and creative ways. We loved it.

The next few days were strung together with a series of lifts from a variety of kind strangers: “a guy” to Manning Park, a “freak van” to Kelowna, “some First Nations guys in the pouring rain” to Winfield, “a farmer in a pickup truck” to Armstrong, and then, “a farmer in a truck full of cherries” to Grindrod…of which we ate our fill.

When rides weren’t forthcoming, we’d wait…and wait…or walk. It wasn’t uncommon to be stuck, cooling our heels for 3 to 5 hours by the side of the road, trying to look increasingly desperate – or harmless – to the passing vehicles. Much of the reason for these lengthy waits or long walks, was due to the glut of transients plying the highways and byways of the continent during the late 60’s and early 70’s. Lineups of hitchhikers always started on the roads exiting the hamlets, villages, towns and cities we were travelling through, so we’d join them on a first-come-first served basis. It was not uncommon to join a queue of 20 – 30 kids arrayed in groups of 1, 2 or 3 with their thumbs stuck out.

If frustration kicked in, we’d sometimes assess our location and decide – strategically – to keep walking until we arrived at a more auspicious location. Which didn’t always bear fruit. According to my journal, 5 to 10-mile walks, under the heat of a summer sun, with fully-loaded backpacks was par for the course – the effort of which would often deliver us to “nowhere”, with its concomitant uncertainty and additional waits, for two, now sweaty, dusty & ravenous teens.

“Man, I’m hungry, you got anything?” I asked Mike. “Just some jams I took from the ferry,” he replied. “Can I have some?” “Sure, do you want strawberry, peanut butter, or marmalade?” Mike had loaded up on about a dozen assorted confitures from the ferry cafeteria, which he pulled out now, as we sat on the side of the road, at Stepney Crossing and Hwy 97A, a “nowhere” between Armstrong & Enderby. I reached over and took a peanut butter and a strawberry, tore off the tinfoil covers, and devoured the contents – making sure to clean out the little plastic containers with my tongue so as not to waste anything.

We are perched on the northern edge of the Spallumcheen – a Shuswap word meaning “flat mouth”, which is a broad valley of rich farmland and rolling grasslands between Vernon & Enderby – eating pilfered jam.

In retrospect, the term “nowhere” was unfair because, in reality, “nowhere” was usually a breathtakingly beautiful spot on the road where survival (food, water, shelter), for any length of time, would’ve been impossible. If you were plunked down in “nowhere”, despite the soul-enriching visual drink of newness and beauty…you’d still have to go “somewhere” to survive. Unbeknownst to Mike and I, our next “somewhere”, our next “oasis of civilization”, was only 10 miles down the road – the hamlet of Grindrod.

Madge’s Café

“Those jams were good man, thanks, but I’m still pretty hungry, how ‘bout you?” I asked, “Yeah, we might as well keep walking…gotta be a town or a gas station with some kinda food nearby,” replied Mike, “And I could sure use a glass of water or something.” “Yeah, me too,” I said, “And those dark clouds coming down the valley, look like rain,” “Let’s go,” I said, shouldering my pack and sticking out my thumb.

We hadn’t walked far when a kind farmer in a pick-up truck slowed down, rolled down his window, leaned over, and said, “I’m only going to Grindrod, but you can hop in the back of the truck and help yourself to as many cherries as you like.” We didn’t know what a Grindrod was, but we were sold on “eat as many cherries as you like” so we thanked the driver and eagerly hopped in the back beside boxes and boxes of ripe cherries and did as we were instructed.

There’s something sublimely idyllic about sprawling out in the open cab of a pick-up truck in summertime eating ones fill of cherries. We lumbered along the Vernon-Sicamous Hwy, never out of sight of the green meandering Shuswap River – shooting pits onto passing cars – or pedestrians – as we passed through the hamlet of Enderby. I’m sure we could have put a serious dent in the farmer’s generous cherry offer, if Grindrod hadn’t arrived so quickly – recognizing this, we grabbed a few extra handfuls to stuff into our packs for later.

The farmer pulled off the highway onto a dusty parking area in front of a battered old house with a sign that read, “Madge’s Home Cooking,” as the first large drops of rain started to fall. “I have to turn off soon to get where I’m going, but I think this is a better place to drop you off, it’s looking like we might be in for a bit of a summer shower,” he said, “maybe a bit of a thunderstorm too,” he continued, pointing at the large black cumulonimbus cloud hovering overhead. “If you’re still hungry, Madge is a pretty good cook, and it’ll be a good place to ride out this storm.”

We thanked him for the lift, and his kindness, and shook hands with our cherry-stained mitts. “Oh yeah, and Madge is quite deaf, so you’ll have to speak up if you’re going in to order anything,” he said, as a large flash of lightning cut the sky followed shortly by a massive rolling clap of thunder. “Let’s go,” I shouted, as we grabbed our packs and ran across the parking lot – gaining shelter on Madge’s porch just as the black clouds unzipped, pouring out their contents onto the welcoming farmlands of the Spallumcheen.

The screen door slammed behind us as we entered Madge’s Café –a room which looked like the converted kitchen and living room of an old farmhouse, decked out in mismatched tables and chairs and decorated with collections of what appeared to be Madge’s knick-knacks and memorabilia. There was no sign of Madge – or anyone for that matter, as we were the sole customers. We grabbed a table by a window to watch the storm.

Flash! One thousand and one, one thousand and two…rumble, Rumble, BOOM! “It’s getting pretty close,” said Mike, as the lightning bolts and subsequent thunderclaps got ever closer together. Just then, we heard movement within the Café, as an elderly woman with snow white hair, a hearing aid, and cat-eye glasses, came out of an adjoining room and shuffled towards us, carrying a menu.

“Are you boys looking to eat?” she asked, as she placed a one-page menu on the table. “Yes please,” we replied loudly, nodding, remembering the farmer’s advice. Without so much as a smile or any exchange of pleasantries, she said, “Well it’s late in the afternoon, and I’m closing within the hour, but I could make you a couple of grilled cheese sandwiches…with dill pickle slices and potato chips,” she said resignedly. We looked at each other, then back at Madge (assuming it was Madge, and not her evil twin), and said, “Sure, that sounds great.” Nodding profusely. “Could we also have a couple of glasses of water?” I said, “What’s that?” replied Madge, “Water,” I repeated, as another flash of lightning illuminated the room, and a loud clap of thunder shook the building. “I’m sorry, could you please speak up? I’m a little hard of hearing.” “WATER,” I shouted, holding one hand up as if I was holding a glass, and bringing it to my lips, making the universal sign for having a drink. “FLASH! BooooooM!” said the weather, “Oh, a drink,” replied Madge, “I’ve got some cold Coca Colas, one minute,” and she wandered off towards the kitchen. “Let’s not fight this one,” said Mike, “I don’t care what we get, as long as it’s liquid and cold.”

We sat at the window, watching the heavy rain obscure the local scenery, as the lightning and thunder arrived simultaneously overhead. “Good thing we’re not hitchhiking right now,” I observed, “No shit,” said Mike, “it’s wild out there,” as a large fork of lightning hit a tree across the road, severing a large branch and releasing a flurry of leaves. “Not even safe hiding under a tree to get away from the rain…deadly.”

Just then Madge arrived with our Cokes, “Your sandwiches will just be another minute,” she said. “Thanks,” we said in unison, smiling. “Excuse me, does Grindrod have a Hostel,” I asked, slowly and loudly. “What?” “A HOSTEL,” I said forcefully, putting my hands together, by the side of my head, and closing my eyes, as if sleeping. “Hotels?” Ha ha! No, no hotels here, our little village isn’t much of a destination – you’d have to go to Salmon Arm or Sicamous.” Realizing the futility of my query I smiled and nodded. “Looks like another night of looking for a place to sleep,” I said to Mike. “Yeah, we passed a couple of empty-looking buildings on the way here, let’s wander back and check ‘em out, once we’re done here and the storm ends,” “Sure,” I replied as our grilled cheeses arrived. “Do you have any ketchup?” I asked hesitantly, shaking my hand above my plate in the universal sign for “ketchup.” “Oh yeah, here,” she replied as she reached over to another table and grabbed the ketchup, and salt & pepper shakers, and placed them on our table. “I’m getting good at sign language,” I said, as I wolfed down my sandwich.

After this late lunch/early dinner, we paid our bill and waited on Madge’s porch until the rain subsided, deciding that, rather than continuing hitching, we’d track down a vacant building for our evening’s accommodation. Luckily, Grindrod seemed to have a surplus of old rundown abandoned buildings that we could easily access.

Small hamlets – like Grindrod – went through cyclical periods of expansion and contraction since its inception in the 1880’s. In 1972, Grindrod was experiencing the beginnings of a big deflation which would see the population shrink by 58% between 1971 and 1976 – resulting in a surfeit of empty homes and buildings. Perfect places for two young travellers to rest their weary heads, smoke pot, and play cards.

Our boutique hotel for the evening was the local Community Hall that had fallen into disuse. The deciding factor was the unlocked front door that greeted us as we jiggled the handle. It was clean and dry inside but was evidently being used as someone’s storage judging by the piles of boxes, and variety of objects stacked hither and thither on the large floor space.

Mike and I were not the closest of friends in High School but had discovered each other because of our mutual interest in hitting the road and having this cross-Canada adventure. I learned that his parents were having some marital difficulties, through conversations with Mike, and what I witnessed at a family dinner I was invited to – ostensibly to be “checked out” by Mike’s parents before they sent him off on this “crazy trip” with a complete stranger – me.

Mike’s Dad – Eric – was a WW 2 military vet, with a drinking problem and some variety of PTSD. I was on my best behaviour, but Mike and I had to endure Eric’s grilling to make sure we weren’t going to “do any drugs or anything illegal” (in retrospect, sound advice), and that we should “get our hair cut” (didn’t happen) while his mother Enid got progressively weepy at the thought of her baby leaving home. As the beers disappeared down Eric’s gullet, he became less inhibited and shared some of his anger with his wife Enid, “Oh fer Crissakes Enid, stop yer weepy weepy – Mike’s a young man and can take care of himself!” pounding the table for added cruelty and emphasis. I was completely unfamiliar with this kind of family dynamic – coming from a happy, gentle, and kind home environment – and too young to understand how this could all impact the behaviour of my travelling companion. I was going to have plenty of time on the road to find out.

After a fitful sleep in the vacant town hall, we assembled our gear and headed for the highway. The storm had passed – as summer storms do – refreshing the valley with a much-needed downpour. We’d been lucky, thus far, as our rides and experiences had been mostly benign, safe & non-threatening. But hitchhiking is a crapshoot, and most young travellers – like us – had only partially-developed “protective radar” to pick up on dangerous situations that might arise, and in fact, would often embrace danger for “the thrill.”

Our first lift was with a couple of first nations guys in their 20’s who were still stinking drunk from the previous evening’s party, which just hadn’t quit. Fearless & foolish, we hopped in. “We’re only going to Sicamous,” they giggled. “That’s cool,” we replied, “anywhere north is good, we’re trying to get to Calgary.” “Oh, yeah, I been to Calgary,” said the guy in the passenger seat, slurring slightly. They were both nice guys, amicable and chatty, and all was going well until their back tire blew out about halfway to Sicamous. Despite his inebriation the driver managed to steer the car safely to the gravel shoulder. “Shit, we gotta flat,” said Johnny, the driver, while his buddy Willie, steadied himself as the car jerked and skidded on the gravel. Mike and I sat – wide-eyed – while we braced ourselves in the back seat. “You gotta spare?” asked Willie, “Yeah, in the trunk…hope it’s got enough air,” replied Johnny.

We all got out to survey the situation, while Johnny hauled the spare out of the trunk and fished around for a jack and tire-iron. “Bit soft,” he said, assessing the tire, “but it’ll get us to Sicamous.” We all pitched in and put our shoulders to the car, to stop it from leaning too far into the gravel, while Johnny worked the jack and tire iron.

After the fix, we got back in the car and continued on our way to Sicamous. “Thanks for helping out you guys, here’s a little something to calm your nerves,” said Johnny, laughing as he passed a bottle of Wiser’s Deluxe over the back seat to Mike and I – after he and Willie had taken a large swig. “Thanks,” we said, eagerly accepting an offer of free booze. “That could’ve been a lot worse Dude, if the front left had blown – could’ve pulled us into traffic,” said Willie. “We got lucky fer sure,” agreed Johnny. Mike and I absorbed this lesson about fate, circumstance and random possibilities, while Neil Young’s 1970 hit “Don’t Let it Bring You Down,” played on the radio.

Willie & Johnny were only going to Sicamous, so they dropped us off near the intersection of Hwy 97A and the Trans Canada – the easiest place for us to get a lift on our excursion to Alberta. We thanked them, said our goodbyes and continued walking east along the highway until we found a suitable spot with good hitchhiking Feng Shui.

“Hmm, nice flat spot with lots of pullover room,” said Mike. “Yes,” I agreed, “good sunny spot, away from the other hitchhikers, decent visuals, and the air smells good.” “Yeah,” concurred Mike, “and walking distance to food & drink if we get hungry.” “Perfect,” we both agreed, dropping our packs onto the gravel shoulder.

Evidently, we misjudged, as it took five hours of roadside begging before we scored a lift, and Mike was getting tired of my limited repertoire on harmonica. “Don’t you know anything besides “Room to Move?” he asked. “Yeah sure,” I replied, “how about a little “Whammer Jammer?” as I alternated between my two harmonica riffs.  

And the ride itself wasn’t great (difficult to gauge these things beforehand), we wound up in the back of a pick-up truck – in the exposed cargo bed – as it got progressively colder and colder, while we ascended the western rise of the Selkirk & Columbia range on our way to Revelstoke, the driver’s destination.

Traffic slowed to a crawl as we edged slowly past the results of a nasty head-on collision near Three Valley Gap – just a few miles outside of Revelstoke – adding an additional soupçon of fear to our day, without diminishing our chill. “I think we’re getting close,” I said. “To death, or Revelstoke?” replied Mike, “I’m friggin’ frozen, and gettin’ pretty hungry.” “Yeah, me too,” I replied, “I’m wearing every piece of clothing that I brought…and we haven’t eaten much today, and it’s like, 2 o’clock.”

Blessedly, Revelstoke soon appeared, as we broke through the low-hanging clouds on our descent into the Slocan valley. Realizing how hungry – and cold – we must be after our trip, the driver dropped us off on the Commercial strip – right in front of a Smitty’s Pancake House. Wasting little time, we thanked him, grabbed our packs, and ran into Smitty’s for warmth and sustenance. Nothing like a stack of flapjacks covered in butter and maple syrup to help take the chill off.

Dutch Treat

After our Smitty’s revival, we decided to push on, rather than track down the local hostel. The sun had re-appeared, warming the day, and stoking our optimism that we could make further progress before day’s end. Within short order we got a lift with a “strange Dutchman who showed us his porno books”, and was heading to Golden, according to my notes.

Wilfred was a 50-something moustachioed man from the Netherlands who was fulfilling a lifelong dream to see the Rocky Mountains, and, for some reason, thought that showing his Penthouse and Playboy magazines to complete strangers was a good idea. As two, young, straight male virgins – who’d rarely been exposed to the almost irresistible allure of unclad female beauty – we welcomed the opportunity to look at pictures of naked women, but at the same time, were worldly enough to know that Wilfred’s offer was kinda weird. The only thing he aroused more than our libidos was our “creepy old man” radar.

The Dutch had a much more liberal approach to things that were taboo or heavily controlled in Canada – as I would discover the following year when I walked the streets of De Wallen, the Red-Light District of Amsterdam – where all things sexual were on display and for sale. It soon became apparent that his “sharing” was not meant as a come on, he thought it was funny – and we further forgave his eccentricity when he offered to buy dinner. Offers of a free meal on the road were – no pun intended – priceless, and we rarely missed an opportunity to accept.

The follow-up offer, of sharing a room at a local Motel in Golden put our weirdness radar back on high alert, but again, a free room and a bed (as long as it didn’t contain an old naked Nederlander) had appeal, and Mike & I felt confident that – together – we could handle any unwanted situation…we said yes, which according to my journal “was ok because he didn’t try anything, and he bought breakfast.”

It’s almost shocking to me now, 50 years later as I write this, to think of the level of risk taking that I was comfortable with. But, reflecting on my youthful hitchhiker balance sheet, the calculus likely went something like this: “Hmmm, we got to see pornography, two free meals, and a lift to Golden and a free bed in a motel – Bingo! Jackpot!” I’m grateful to have survived unscathed.

Wilfred dropped us off at the juncture of Hwy 95 and Hwy 1 which would take him north to Jasper and us east, enroute to Banff and Calgary. Our first ride was with a young couple from Idaho who were on a road trip, exploring BC, and their next stop was Banff – having heard much about its magnificent setting. It was comforting, travelling with a nice, normal couple after our previous day of drunks, car accidents, freezing rides and pornography. We were grateful to be riding inside the car today as we went through several snow flurries on our way through Lake Louise and Castle Junction. Franklin and Isabel were from Boise, and Franklin managed to avoid the draft due to a congenital heart problem. We shared the vistas and jaw-dropping beauty of the Rockies with this couple, agreeing to stop for photos at Lake Louise before carrying on our way to Banff. Somewhere, a photo resides in a photo album of Mike & I & Franklin & Isabel – with our arms around each other – smiling and staring at the camera, operated by a friendly Japanese tourist – with Lake Louise and the Rockies behind us, and the Fairmont Château before us.

Hashing it Out

We arrived in Banff shortly after leaving Lake Louise. As Franklin and Isabel were booked into the Banff Springs Hotel, and were heading there to check in, we asked to be dropped off downtown, so we could explore around a bit, look for food, and figure out our next moves. We got let off at the corner of Banff Ave. & Wolf St. in the heart of the tourist district – which pulses with people regardless of the season.

“Man, there’s tons of people here,” said Mike, “should we try and sell some of our hash?” “Hmmm, I dunno dude,” I replied, “seems like a lot of older tourists, or families, and I don’t really feel like wandering over to strangers to ask…seems like a good way to get busted.”

Mike and I had purchased – what we thought was – an ounce of hash from a dealer, outside a well-known dealer bar in Victoria, that we were too young to enter. Our plan was to sell a bit of hashish on our trip to help pay for expenses. I’d given Mike half the purchase price – $70 – to go downtown and do the transaction, and he returned with a small baggie, half-full of a reddish-brown, oily, granular substance that bore little resemblance to the hash we were familiar with.

We took our little baggie back to Mike’s basement room at his parent’s place to have a closer look. “This stuff looks kinda weird,” I said, eyeing and sniffing our new purchase. “Yeah, he didn’t have any Blond Lebanese,” said Mike, “he called it Moroccan Red, said it’s a different kinda high.” Of course, there was only one way to truly find out – we went to the park and tried some.

 Our quality control experiment was not a raging success. “Hmm, I feel a little dizzy, how about you?” asked Mike. “Yeah, but not the kind of dizzy I like,” I replied, “also a little anxious, like that time I smoked a cigarette.” “Hmmm, maybe Moroccans mix something else in to make a blend,” pondered Mike, “Or to rip people off,” I added. We both sat under a tree in the park and pondered our dilemma. We were leaving on our cross-Canada hitchhiking trip in a couple of days and were stuck with 28 grams (now 27) of a questionable product, with an untraceable pedigree. “Let’s take it with us hitchhiking and try and sell it anyways,” said Mike. He was the brains of our organization.

As it was only mid-day we decided to carry on hitchhiking to Calgary – walking east along Banff Avenue, looking for a more favourable spot beyond the Commercial/Residential strip. We were both hungry, so I hauled out my bag of mixed-nuts, and an orange to share, while Mike dug out his remaining “La Vache qui rit” triangles of tinfoil covered cheeses, and a banana.

“When do you wanna try and sell our crappy hash?” asked Mike, with a mouthful of nuts. “I dunno,” I replied, as I peeled the orange, “we could check out the scene at the Calgary Youth Hostel. Just gotta watch out for Narcs.” We were operating without a great deal of planning, or forethought for consequences, relying almost entirely on luck and a limited palette of experience.

At this time – in the early 70’s – Alberta was not known as an especially welcoming place for young, long-haired travellers, so it was little surprise that we found ourselves walking considerable distances or cooling our heels at the side of the road for lengthy waits. The brisk mountain air was fresh and invigorating, the scenery was beautiful, we had no idea where we were, so we walked.

The commercial strip of Banff Avenue became residential and then rural quite quickly and soon it was just us, blue sky, trees, mountains, and the gravel shoulder – our constant companion. The intersection with the Trans-Canada Highway turned out to be a relatively short 3 mile hike and was announced on one of the ubiquitous green directional road signs that populate Canadian highways – right next to the poorly (or playfully) situated turn-off sign for Mountain View Cemetery and Mountain View Barbeque.

After a 3-hour roadside meditation in a valley surrounded by mountains named Rundle, Cascade, Inglismaldie and Peechee, a long-distance trucker named Ryan pulled over and offered us a lift to Dead Man’s Flats where he was delivering a load of six large wooden campground tables to Three Sisters Campground on the banks of the Bow River. Ryan offered us a lift all the way to Calgary if we helped him unload the tables, as he was travelling solo and was unsure how much support he’d get at Three Sisters. A lift to Calgary was appealing so we agreed to help, thinking that maybe we could cadge a free lunch and a ride directly to the hostel, as part of the bargain.

The trip from Banff to Dead Man’s Flats and Three Sisters campground was a short half hour drive, and soon we found ourselves parked beside one of six new campsites getting ready to unload our cargo. The Sister’s had recently decided on a small expansion to their campsite, and we were greeted by Andrew, their campground manager who was there to help unload. This was good because the tables were quite solid and heavy, likely weighing 400 pounds each and, as we soon discovered, we were not there merely to unload them, but to schlep them over to their new concrete pads. In teams of three or four (two skinny teenagers & one, or two, more robust 20-somethings) we managed to twist, slide, drop and catch the tables off the flatbed and carefully manoeuvre them to their new homes. It was heavy work, and we all quenched our thirst with water from the tap that served the new expansion.

After the job was done, Ryan got Andrew to sign his waybill, we said our goodbyes, hopped back in the truck and were off. “Hey boys, I gotta get a bit of gas at the Husky station,” said Ryan, “there’s a pretty good diner there, do you wanna grab some lunch? My treat?” Without skipping a beat, we both chimed in, “Yeah sure!” “Great thanks!”

After a round of cheeseburgers, fries & cokes – the classic – we piled back in the truck for the hour-long trip to Calgary. “Hey Ryan, we’re trying to get to the Hostel in Calgary,” said Mike, “do you think you could give us a lift there?” “Uhh, maybe,” he replied, “I don’t know where it is, do you?” Neither of us knew where it was – or even if one existed – as we usually discovered these details through “boots on the ground Q & A”. “How about I drop you off downtown? I’m heading south from Calgary – gotta pick up some farm equipment near Fort McLeod – and I can grab my connector to Highway 2 there.”

It was mid-afternoon, and Ryan dropped us off at the corner of Highway 1 and Edmonton Trail, which turned out to be a surprisingly short 20-minute stroll to the YMCA which served as Calgary’s Youth Hostel and was also near the banks of the Bow River. We checked in, left our packs and went out to explore Calgary – at least as much as we could before dinner, back at the Hostel at six.

YMCAs were notably inexpensive – 25 cents in this case- and provided substantial fare, “fish, choice of drink, soup, buns, beans, & potato,” according to my journal, and a “help yourself pot of coffee.” The Hostel was packed with “about 150 kids,” 100 of which were part of a school group down from Edmonton, the rest being travellers like Mike & I. Despite the appeal of cheap room and board, however, Mike and I were out to see the world, and didn’t find Calgary to be overly friendly toward long-haired kids like us. We received a few jeers from “too many goofs in Cowboy hats” and decided to hit the road the next morning.

Getting out of Calgary turned out to be more of an ordeal than arriving, and we wound up walking about 10 miles in 80-degree heat before finally getting a lift. It would’ve been easier if Mike had agreed to catch a bus, but he was in a bad mood and refused, saying, “I’m not paying for a friggin’ bus.” So, it was two, sweaty, thirsty kids who eventually piled into a station wagon on the southern outskirts of town heading to High River. The driver let us off near a small grocery store so we could get a few things to eat on the road, and a couple of pops to quench our thirst. We sat outside on two chairs placed near the front door, sipped our sodas and soaked in the endless big sky views of flat prairie disappearing into the horizon, dotted with grain silos and other farm buildings, and small clumps of deciduous trees. Our immediate view was a parking lot full of Ford F-150’s, and various other farm & ranching-related vehicles, with farmers, ranchers and their hands, stopping by for supplies. We didn’t feel terribly welcome by those dropping into the store, and received “looks” that felt a bit hostile, suspicious or disdainful – I wondered if it was us, or maybe we were sitting on the regulars’ chairs, where they expected to have a coffee and shoot the breeze.

Mike had never been to Alberta before, whereas my family had roots in Lethbridge, and I was aware of where we were headed and what awaited us. “I think we should head back to the Okanagan, man, how about you?” I said. “Don’t you wanna visit your Grandparents in Lethbridge?” asked Mike. “Uhh, no, it would be nice to see them, and my aunts and uncles and stuff, but we have to meet Shaun in Kelowna soon, and it’s nice to be in a place with beaches, and other kids like us…we’re heading into a lot of small prairie towns and it’s kinda rednecky,” I continued. “Yeah, I hear ya,” said Mike, “not exactly our scene here – I think it would be a bad idea to try and sell our hash to these guys!” we both laughed.

We downed the rest of our orange crushes and headed back to Hwy 2. Surprisingly, we got a ride quite quickly, not surprisingly it was with a couple of chatty “freaks” in a Volkswagen van. Our new short-term companions were gathering ideas to start a commune, or a co-operative, either in southern Alberta, or BC. They were conscientious objectors up from the States and had heard of the large successful Hutterite communes operating in Alberta, Manitoba and Saskatchewan and were now on their way to Parkland Colony, a newly established Hutterite commune. Their idea was just to drop in unannounced and ask questions. I wasn’t sure if this was the best approach for them – having some familiarity with Hutterites, from my time in Lethbridge – but I didn’t try and dissuade them. They made a hard right on Township Road 152, and dropped us off at the corner, another “nowhere” according to my journal.

If “Nowhere” had a Middle

The corner of Highway 2 and Township Road 152 is not the middle of nowhere, it is its’ beating heart. If you look up “flat” or “devoid of visual stimuli” in the dictionary you will find a picture of this corner. This is not necessarily a bad thing, as it compels you to look farther, wider and deeper than might be usual, and can induce a slight state of Zen. Telephone poles and short barbed-wire fencing disappearing into the distance down dusty dirt roads, small groups of cylindrical storage buildings perched off in the distance, the long lines of wiggly tar – used in fixing winter-induced cracks in the road – bearing a vague resemblance to Arabic writing, and a thin presence of horizon-hugging Rocky Mountains, now reduced to an almost imperceptible smudge. At such moments, ones’ attention turns to the slow drift of fleecy white clouds overhead, the activities of roadside insects, the strength and direction of the wind, and the cloud of dust kicked up by passing semi-trailers.

Zen though it might be, nowhere is only good for short meditations – or as long as your supply of chocolate bars, nuts, and fruit lasts. We stuck out our thumbs.

I was deep into prairie Zen – where time has stopped – when a spotless cherry red 1965 Impala, with a loud, powerful engine, came to a stop beside us – the driver leaned over, rolled down the passenger window and said, “I can get you guys as far as Claresholm.” Without pause, we threw our packs on the back seat, hopped in, and met Darren, a local farm guy and muscle car enthusiast who was going to Claresholm for a gathering of other like-minded muscle car owners. “It’s only another 20 miles or so,” he said, “where you guys headed?” “Kinda heading to the Okanagan,” I said, “so anywhere farther south, that gets us closer to the Crowsnest is good.”

I knew this region quite well, having traveled with my folks along Highway 3 – the Crowsnest Highway – innumerable times on summer vacation road trips to Lethbridge, where they were born, to visit family. I even had distant relatives & family friends in Claresholm but wouldn’t be looking them up this go round.

When we pulled into Claresholm, Darren drove down the main drag until he found the “Lazy J Motel” where the muscle car gathering was being held. The Lazy J was part of a roadside commercial strip sharing a gas station, convenience store, Chinese restaurant, Drive-in and block-long parking lot, that was now bristling with every kind of hot rod and muscle car to be found in southern Alberta…and beyond. “I’m going to drop you guys off here, and find my pals,” said Darren, as we entered the gathering place, “be easier for you guys if you keep walking along the main drag here and stick your thumbs out – someone’ll pick you up.”

We nodded and thanked him, grabbing our packs and doing as he suggested. Mike and I had no desire to hang around and “watch the show”. The noise of 40 or 50 hot cars idling, revving, or burning rubber out of the parking lot to cruise the strip just wasn’t our thing, and not the kind of youth culture scene we were looking for – “greaseballs in their hot cars” according to my journal.

They were beer swilling, hot car cruising, short-haired & tattoo wearing, Hard Rock zealots, we were long-haired, pot-smoking, hitchhiking, Grateful Dead & Yes fixated, hippie wannabes.

Highway 2 is the main drag through Claresholm, so we didn’t have far to go – we started walking south, stuck out our thumbs, and got lucky. A pick-up truck with a driver and passenger, pulled over and offered us a ride to Pincher Creek, which was about an hour down the pike, and just off Highway 3, our route back to BC. It was a warm sunny day, so climbing into the back of a pickup and whizzing through the flatlands of southern Alberta – which although dangerous and crazy, considering that we were travelling like unsecured cargo – felt free and exhilarating.

The drive south took us past the Granum Hutterite colony, and the unappealingly named Mud Lake. We passed the junction with Hwy 785, which led to Head-Smashed-In Buffalo Jump Park, then crossed the Oldman River – named after a Blackfoot mythological figure “Napi”, who is also referred to as the “Old Man”. We veered right onto Hwy 3, bypassing Fort MacLeod, and putting us squarely on the road we’d be travelling for the next day or so as we made our way back to the Okanagan.

We stopped to pick up another couple of hitchhikers, who were languishing by the side of the road, where Hwy 2 feeds off onto the Crowsnest – a guy in his early 20’s from Mississauga named Sam, and his girlfriend Brenda. “Jesus,” said Sam, “we’ve been there for 4 hours, do you guys have any water?” We didn’t, but the driver’s buddy Walt, who overheard Sam’s request, handed him a can of beer through the open cab window. “Sorry it’s not cold,” said Walt, “just picked up a six pack of road pops before we left Claresholm…should quench your thirst.” Mike and I waited expectantly for a similar offer, but none was forthcoming, and Brenda declined.

With the noise of the truck and the wind whipping our hair in our faces it was difficult having any significant conversation with Sam and Brenda, but we were able to discern that they were also heading to the Okanagan, and then Vancouver, if time and money allowed. From my perch in the cargo bed, I was able to see Walt, through the rear window, continuing to drain one Molson Canadian after another.

Somewhere between Stowe and Chokio, we entered Piikani 147 – home of the Piikani (Peigan) First Nations people and the fourth largest reserve in Canada. Walt was the kind of drinker that mindlessly threw his empties out the window, which we watched bounce carelessly down the road as we sped along. I noticed his head starting to nod after his third beer, and, as we approached Brocket – the main community of the Piikani Nation – Walt passed out and his head smashed into the passenger window with a thud. He didn’t wake up, and it didn’t seem to faze the driver, who – luckily for all of us – wasn’t participating in Walt’s solo beer fest.

At the junction of Highway 3 and Highway 6 – a dozen more miles down the road from Brockett, and the turn off to the town of Pincher Creek – Steve the driver, pulled over to let Mike and I off as we’d expressed a desire to keep hitchhiking towards our destination along Highway 3, whereas Sam and Brenda were hungry, and curious to see Pincher Creek so they opted to continue the extra few miles due south with Steve & Walt. We said our goodbyes but let Walt continue sleeping as we unloaded our packs and wandered over to the junction looking for the best place to park ourselves.

It was getting late in the afternoon. The skies were blue, and the sun had spent the day warming the light breeze which now blew over us. A scattering of fluffy white clouds hung over the Rocky Mountains, which had, at last, come into view. In the off chance we didn’t score another ride today, Pincher Creek & food were a short 3-mile hike down Highway 6. We propped our backpacks against a metal guardrail which seemed to be protecting an enigmatic long yellow metal traffic barrier with a stop sign attached to it, which was currently in the upright position. Snow closures perhaps? cattle crossing? Police drinking and driving road check? No hippies beyond this point? We speculated.

“Do you want a marshmallow?” I asked. A young woman at the Y in Calgary had given me half a bag of the puffy sugar confections because, “She just couldn’t eat any more of them.” “Sure,” came Mike’s ever laconic reply. “You got anything else?” I inquired, “Just a can of soup, and some sunflower seeds,” he replied. “Shelled or unshelled?”  “Unshelled” … “Great, let’s eat ‘em,” I suggested, “and save that soup for dinner.”  Mike hauled out his half-bag of “Nutty Club” sunflower seeds and we began the process of cracking them open with our teeth, eating the seeds, and spitting the shells onto the road – while sitting on the gravel shoulder and leaning against the guardrail, in the sun – appreciate such moments of bliss wherever you find them…Life Lesson #476.

After a time, our seed and marshmallow nibbling was interrupted by an older man in a late-60’s Chevy Biscayne, who waved at us and pulled over onto the shoulder, 30 or 40 feet ahead. Mike got up and ran up to the car, as I continued eating seeds by the roadside.  The driver rolled down the window, and said “Where are you boys headed?” “We’re trying to get to Penticton,” said Mike, “Well, I can get you as far as Coleman…it’s about 30 miles towards where you’re trying to get.” We threw our packs in the back seat, Mike climbed in after them, and I hopped in the front.

There’s a serene beauty to the flatlands of southern Alberta, as farms, ranches, and grain silos appear and slowly vanish into the horizon. Heading west from Pincher Creek, hills and trees slowly take control of the landscape, and the Rockies gradually rise up, giving form to destination. Our driver Vic was a widowed 72-year-old, living in Pincher Creek, heading to Coleman to have dinner with friends. Vic liked to talk, and I think that may be why he picked up two companions for the trip – a new audience for his stories, anecdotes and opinions. “Are you boys American?” “Lots of draft dodgers up here trying to avoid fighting in Vietnam,” “Yup, I was born in 1900 and had the honour of fighting in both wars…infantry in WW1…Vimy Ridge and Amiens…lucky to be alive boy I tell ya, and then stayed with the military and fought in WW2 as a Major directing our troops during the landing at Juno beach, I still have nightmares” “Are you boys hippies? “We sure weren’t allowed to wear our hair that long when I was your age” ….and on and on. Vic was cordial and chatty, and seemed to be filling a need to tell us about his life history – we nodded and made minimal conversational contributions as Vic would often answer his own questions with further questions and observations. It made the time pass as we gazed out the window.

Vic chewed a wad of gum while he talked and offered us each a stick of Juicy Fruit as we cruised past the farming hamlets of Cowley and Lundbreck. As the valley we were travelling in narrowed, and the hills and mountains of the Rockies started to close in, Vic’s conversation turned to coal. “Now we’re entering coal country boys… once coal was discovered in 1907, all the towns along here, Bellevue, Blairmore & Coleman popped up and became mining towns” ”…”God I’m probably lucky that I went to war when I did, probably saved me from becoming a miner and dying in the pit” “…yup, two of the worst mining disasters in Canadian history happened right in this valley” “Hillcrest Mine disaster killed about 190 miners… right before WW1 started in July 1914, …lot of good boys could have gone off to fight for our country” “And Frank slide, wiped out the town of Frank…killed about 90 people when Turtle Mountain collapsed just a few years after I was born” “I’m lucky my folks were farmers outside of Cowley, kept me out of the mines.”

I’d been through Crowsnest Pass and all these towns’ dozens of times on family holidays, and knew all the horror stories, but Mike was new to the area and now stared out the window, apprehensively, at the large unhealed gash in Turtle Mountain, and the several kilometre debris field of tumbled limestone rocks hugging the highway. “Shit,” said Mike, “we’re driving over the graves of 90 people, look at all those mountains up ahead, do you think they’re any more stable than the Turtle?” “Probably not,” I replied deadpan, “impossible to say, we’ve got a lot of mountains to go through, I’d say we’ve got a 50-50 chance of making it home alive.” I laughed, and Vic said, “No no no, your buddy’s just pullin’ your leg…bad mining practices back then.” “Big rockslide disasters like that don’t happen much anymore.” “Except for the Hope slide in ’65,” I chimed in. “Oh yeah, the Hope Princeton slide,” said Vic, “yeah that was a big one…only killed about four people though, I think.” “Yeah, my dad missed that one by about three hours,” I said, “he was on his way back from a meeting in the Okanagan.” “No shit,” said Vic, “lucky guy.” “Yeah,” I droned on, “not everyone gets that lucky,” as I stared balefully at Mike.

My mischievous work was done. Mike spent the rest of his trip looking at mountains with a newfound respect…and fear.

Coleman arrived shortly thereafter – Vic’s destination and our drop off spot. He let us off in front of a convenience store on the main drag – as requested – and then headed down to the “old town” to join his friends and other veterans at the local Legion, where they were having a meat draw. We said our goodbyes, shook Vic’s hand and wished him luck in the meat draw. “Watch out for rockslides!” he shouted as he drove off, “and get yer hair cut!” he added laughingly.   

The Crow’s Nest

Vic had mentioned that he was unaware of any Youth Hostels in Coleman but that there was a campsite called “Island Lake Campground” about 6 or 7 miles down the road. We decided to aim for that and grabbed a few food items at the Convenience store before it closed – bread, a can of beans, a couple of chocolate bars, and some fruit, to go with Mike’s soup for dinner. It was approaching 7pm and the sun was starting to slip behind the mountains, so we threw our packs over our shoulders, and decided to hitchhike while walking toward the campsite.

The shoulder on this stretch of the highway was narrow and we could feel the full force of wind from the passing cars as they sped along, kicking up dust and small bits of gravel. Despite this discomfort, we were wandering through a stunningly beautiful section of the Crowsnest Highway, which is one of the joys of travelling by foot and thumb.

This stretch – Crowsnest Pass, the lowest point of the highest place – had always been very dear to my heart, so I wandered along in awe of my surroundings, oblivious to the traffic, just trying to take it all in. Heading west along Highway 3 from Coleman you round the crest of a small hill and find yourself in a beautiful valley, bookended by two Mountain ranges – the Southern Rockies and Mt. Tecumseh to your west, and a smaller range, with Mt Caudron and Centre Peak to the east, and, standing alone and apart from these two ranges is Crowsnest Mountain rising up from the middle of the valley like a rocky, glorious canine tooth.   

Crowsnest Pass is the lowest elevation mountain pass in Canada, south of the Yellowhead Pass. Apparently, before the arrival of Europeans, Indigenous People used this major gap through the mountains for seasonal migrations, and for trade between mountain and plains cultures. 11,000-year-old Clovis Culture relics have been found around the nearby town of Frank. So, we were following in the footsteps of those that have venerated this place for countless generations

Finally, a beat-up 1960’s Volvo station wagon pulled over, driven by a young couple from Nanaimo. We ran to their car and the female passenger – Linda – said “Hey we’re just going to a campsite up the road called Island Lake, it’s not far but you’re welcome to hop in.” “That’s great,” I replied, “that’s where we’re trying to go.” We shoved our packs into the back seat and crawled in after.

Linda and Rodger had been on the road for 3 or 4 weeks – mostly travelling around BC and Alberta, sightseeing and visiting family in the Okanagan. They were friendly & talkative, hippie-esque 20-somethings, with long straggly hair, a car full of camping gear, a guitar, and food supplies. “Do you guys want any strawberries?” asked Linda, “we just bought a bag of ‘em in Lethbridge…they’re pretty juicy and sweet.” We didn’t need much convincing and stuck our hands in the bag pulling out fistfuls of berries, munching contentedly as we travelled the last few miles to our destination – following a brackish trickle of the Crowsnest River, beside Crowsnest Lake, in sight of Crowsnest Mountain, below Crowsnest Ridge, within Crowsnest Pass, while travelling along Crowsnest Highway.

“We’ve never been here before,” said Rodger, “It’s quite beautiful…are these places actually named after a crow’s nest?” “No,” I replied – deadpan – as I stared out the window, with my red-stained lips and fingers, as we slipped between the rows of deciduous trees and conifers which hugged the road between the granite outcroppings. After a suitable pregnant pause, I laughed and said, “Just kidding! Yes, yes they are! they’re named after a local first nation’s word – that I can’t remember – meaning “nest of the crow, or raven…I don’t think they differentiated much between crows or ravens.” “Hmm, cool, thanks,” said Rodger, “I can understand why they’d lump them together; ravens are just like big crows…except for the squawk.” We all reflected on this as Mike ate the last strawberry.

Shortly after passing the entrance to the Crowsnest Lake Bible Camp, and a sign warning us of Rocky Mountain Sheep, Linda said, “There’s the sign, Island Lake, hang a right.”

There was a large, cleared parking area beside the lake, for trailers and camper vans which was fine for Linda and Rodger as they were sleeping in their station wagon. Mike and I thanked them for the lift and grabbed our gear before wandering down the gravel road to the tent sites, where we could pitch our little one-man tents. The tent site was nearly full, but we found a spot near the lake between a young family of four, and a woman camping with her dog. We set up camp and said hi to the neighbours. It was already after 8pm and dusk was settling fast. The children were exhausting the last of their daily allotment of noisy pursuits and playtime activity, while Mom & Dad cleaned up the dinner dishes, drank beer and prepared for bed. The single woman sat at her wooden picnic table drinking beer and alternating between playing guitar and petting her dog. Her name was Christy, and her dog was a young, energetic, and seemingly untrained Jack Russell Terrier, named Willy.

We were both hungry and decided on a dinner of soup, bread, and a couple of oranges from our limited stash. Mike carried a small aluminum pot for cooking, and Christy allowed us to heat up our soup on her dwindling fire, while I fed pieces of bread to Willy – which he voraciously accepted. Christy & Willy were up from Seattle, just taking a few weeks off to chill out and escape the edgy anti-war/pro-war battle being waged in the U.S.A. She was heading to Saskatoon where her boyfriend – a conscientious objector – was working in a Youth Hostel, until the war ended and he could, hopefully, head back and join her.

“Do you guys’ smoke pot?” asked Christy, “Sure,” we both nodded from fireside as I stirred the soup. “I feel like getting a little high, and you’re welcome to join me if you like.” She pulled a doobie and a lighter from her guitar case and lit up. We put our cooking activities on hold for a moment, to join her at her table. A waxing gibbous moon rose slowly over the southern mountains that rung the lake, catching a light orange hue from the sun which had now disappeared over the western range.

There couldn’t have been a more tranquil setting and moment in time to enjoy relaxing after a long day’s journey with a few friends smoking a joint. To be 17 and carefree, camping, on a lake, surrounded by glorious mountains, with the moon and stars gradually showing themselves – with a few marshmallows hidden in the backpack. But I was still finding my way with pot, and the experience was not always benign. Rather than enhancing the serenity of the moment, I was often removed from “the now” and sent to a place of distracted teenage angst – trapped in my head.

It’s likely we were all trapped in our heads, but the inside of Mike and Christy’s minds were now completely foreign places to me and conversations became disconnected elsewheres – the only solution of which was to giggle idiotically. As I’d been experimenting with pot since the age of 14, I was getting used to this routine and, to fit in, just rolled with the experience.

Luckily, music provided something we could all focus on collectively, so when Christy asked if we minded if she played her guitar, we both smiled and said, “No, no, what kinda tunes do you play? “Mainly Folk stuff, I guess,” she replied. She pulled out a relatively new Ovation with its Lyrachord pear-shaped body – which we’d never seen before – and started singing an Emmylou Harris’ version of Bob Dylan’s “I’ll Be Your Baby Tonight”. She had an angelic voice and decent guitar chops and soon we were back in the moment. Willy was familiar with this routine and drifted off into a contented slumber near the waning fire. Mike and I both wondered if she was singing the song directly to us.

“Hey man, we should eat that soup,” said Mike. “Oh, jeez yeah,” I said, returning to the present moment and my gnawing hunger, “I forgot.” “Keep singing Christy, you sound great,” I continued, “we’re just going to grab the soup and move over to our table where all our stuff is…do you want any soup?” “No thanks!” she laughed, “I’ve already eaten and just feel like plunking on my guitar…when I get high, all I wanna do is play music.” That was fine with us, there wasn’t much soup, and her folksy ballads provided a sweet soundtrack while we ate.

It had been a long day. By the time we finished inhaling all the food that we’d purchased, and the last remaining stash of marshmallows, it was dark, and we were dog-tired. We waved to Christy, thanked her for the tokes and the tunes, and headed off to our separate one-man tents. The last thing I recall is drifting off to Christy’s gentle rendition of Carole King’s “You’ve got a Friend”. Bliss.

We woke the next morning to barking, sounds of a crying child and the raised voices of adults – one of them Christy’s. “Oh Gosh! I’m so sorry!” “Willy doesn’t usually bite, but I guess your son came over to our campsite and it startled him…he was just being protective,” said Christy. “Waaah,” cried the little boy, who was about five. “If your dog bites, it needs to be trained not to,” said the angry father. “You shouldn’t have a dog in a public campsite that can bite people,” yelled the even angrier mother, “it should be tied up!” “I’m really, really sorry,” continued Christy, “that’s never happened before, it looks like Willy just nipped him and didn’t break the skin.” “I’ll get him back in the car and we’ll head out.”

That last comment seemed to placate the angry parents, and the hubbub subsided. Mike and I crawled out of our tents and saw Christy hastily assembling her camping gear. While the parents in the adjacent site comforted their little boy, Christy asked us, “Hey you guys, as you probably heard, I have to go, Willy nipped their little boy – do you want my eggs?” She pointed at a frying pan with two over-easy eggs nearly cooked, beside some fried bacon. Who could resist? We hauled out our plates and she scraped it into equal portions for both of us.

“I would’ve liked to stay for an extra day,” she said, “but I don’t want a repeat of this morning,” “Dogs…love ‘em, but you just never know what can set them off.”  She hopped in her car, with Willy sitting in the passenger seat, poking his head out the window, smiling with his tongue hanging out, and they were gone. We set about eating our unexpected breakfast and pondering our next move. “I think Willy was just protecting the bacon,” said Mike, “I might’ve bit that kid too if I saw him heading for my bacon.” We both laughed.

We cleaned up, broke camp, skipped a few rocks on the lake and headed back to the Crowsnest Highway to continue our journey. The intersection of the park access road and Hwy 3 seemed like a good hitchhiking spot as there was ample shoulder for cars to pull over – and it was a beautiful place to be.

Doukhobor Jam

We didn’t have to wait long. Our first ride offered to take us all the way to Castlegar, which was over 250 miles and would get us about halfway to Penticton. Peter was a greying middle-aged man driving a burgundy mid-60’s Pontiac station wagon, with a cargo area and a roof rack loaded with boxes, and tarped items. “You’ll have to move some of those boxes over, to make space on the back seat there,” he said, as Mike prepared to squeeze our packs and himself into the crowded space. “Sorry for the clutter,” he said, “I hope it’s not too uncomfortable.” “No problem,” replied Mike, “we’ve had worse!” We settled in for the five-hour trip.

After answering obligatory questions about ourselves and our hitchhiking adventure, I asked Peter if he was moving to Castlegar. “No, I live there,” he replied, “I do some volunteer work at the Doukhobor Village Museum there, and I’m bringing some antiques and artifacts from Veregin Saskatchewan to expand our display.”

“That’s cool,” I said, “are you a Doukhobor?” “Yes,” he replied, “born and raised.” “My parents came over from Russia with my grandparents in the early 1900’s, to get away from Russian persecution, and settled in Saskatchewan” “Yeah, my Swedish and Scottish grandparents came over around the same time, but I don’t think they were persecuted,” I said, “I think they got land grants from the government and settled around Lethbridge and became farmers.” “My English great-grandparents came over in the mid-1800’s,” said Mike, “and worked on the railway.”

“Yeah, the Canadian government was very generous to our community too,” said Peter, “there were about 10,000 of us who came over from Russia, and they gave us a lot of land in Manitoba and Saskatchewan. My parents settled around Veregin – where I picked up all this stuff.” “Did the government pay for everybody’s trip over?” asked Mike – who’d never heard of Doukhobors before stepping into this vehicle. “No, we got kinda lucky,” said Peter, “there were people who believed in our cause and raised money for our trip over – Quakers, Anarchists, even Leo Tolstoy* donated the royalties from his last book…and that’s a lot of one-way tickets!” he laughed. (*A statue of Tolstoy was donated by the “Rodina Society for Cultural Relations, Moscow”, former USSR, and erected in the Doukhobor Discovery Centre in Castlegar in 1987)

I knew a little bit about Doukhobors, having driven through their communities in the Kootenay’s every year with my folks on our way to Alberta. I knew they made good jam, as we would always stop and pick up a few jars from their roadside stands, on our yearly trek. I knew they were a religious, communal group, and generally pacifist – except for “The Sons of Freedom”, a splinter group that had a reputation for violence, and a proclivity for protesting nude on the steps of the Vancouver courthouse.

Time passed and we learned a great deal about the Doukhobors and the Union of Spiritual Communities of Christ, from Peter, our personal tutor and tour guide. We followed their story as we passed by their villages, farms and homes dotted along the Crownsnest Highway throughout the west Kootenays, all the way up to the hamlet of Brilliant, which was just across the river from Castlegar. Brilliant was purchased by Peter Verigin in 1908 to get away from problems they were having with the federal “Dominion Lands Act” in Saskatchewan, which required these communal-farming spiritualists to give up communalism and own land individually. Brilliant became the Doukhobor headquarters for Canada and is where Peter – our driver – lived now.

“OK my friends, it looks like we are almost there,” said Peter as we rounded the last hill above Castlegar and began our descent into the valley. “I’ll take you across the river and drop you near the access to Highway 3 so you can carry on with your trip.” “Great thanks!” we said, “is it possible to drop us near a grocery store so we can pick up some food?”. It was about 1 pm and we were both hungry. “Sure, there’s a mini mall with stores and restaurants…you’ll find something there, and it’s a short walk to the highway.

As we were exiting his car at the recommended spot, Peter reached into one of the boxes on the back seat and pulled out two jars of cherry jam. “Here’s a little something for you,” he said, “my wife made these.” We accepted his kind gift as graciously as two 17-year-old boys could – by salivating, I think – and said our goodbyes, as he sped away with his precious cargo of artifacts.

We grabbed some additional supplies form a nearby store to make an impromptu lunch (bread & cheese…with a little bit of jam) and extra food for later (bread, cheese, with a little bit of jam) – in case dinner at a hostel in Penticton didn’t materialize. A short stroll up the hill got us back to the Crowsnest, and soon we were plunked alongside the highway with our thumbs out, taking time to assemble cheese & jam sandwiches as cars, trucks & motorbikes went speeding by.

As it turned out there was no need to wolf down our sandwiches as rides were slow in coming. This wasn’t a huge concern as the weather, and the valley we were in, were beautiful so it felt good to enjoy our humble food, take in our surroundings, and relax after our 5-hour trip. “Y’know, that Peter was pretty convincing, I think I’m going to join the Union of Spiritual Communities of Christ, and become a Doukhobor,” I said, lazily, as I chewed on a piece of grass. “Are you still stoned from last night?” asked Mike, laughing. ”Ha ha! no,” I laughed, “no religious organizations for me, but I do like the idea of living communally, and I liked their rebellious beginnings, and pacifism…but in the end, they just created their own restrictive organization which – according to Peter – broke into several groups.” “How about you?” I asked. “No, I didn’t like Sunday school as a kid and have no desire to go back,” he replied. “Yeah, me too,” I concurred.

Anarchist Mountain

Just as we were airing out the youthful beginnings of our lifelong attempt to understand religiosity and spirituality, a bright green Volkswagen hippie van, with Quebecois licence plates, pulled up just ahead and the front seat passenger rolled down his window and shouted, in heavily accented Québécois French, “‘Ay, where you guys goin’?” “Trying to get to Penticton,” I hollered back. “OK, dat’s where we’re goin’ too, ‘op in.” We gathered up our stuff, ran towards the van, threw our gear into the open side door and climbed in.

“Thanks,” we both chimed in. “I’m Jean Claude and dis is Saul,” said the passenger. Saul waved and said, “’Eh, what’re your names?” “I’m George and this is my buddy Mike,” I replied. “Hey,” said Mike. There was another young couple, Andrew & Martha, already riding in the back, having been picked up in Salmo earlier that day. Everybody had long hair, wore at least one article of clothing made of faded denim, patches & beads were an optional fashion statement, and sandals, flip flops or beat-up sneakers were standard footwear. After many days on the road, we’d found our tribe.

Jean Claude and Saul hailed from Chicoutimi and had been on the road for about 10 days, “Comin’ out to BC and ‘splorin’ Canada,” and Andrew and Martha were two young hippies from Wisconsin, basically doing the same thing. In fact, we were all basically doing the same thing – leaving home, heading out, and “’splorin’.” Having adventures as long as time and money would allow.

Conversations revolved around travel experiences – places to go and places to avoid – and details of our personal lives and situations, as none of us had ever been to each other’s Provinces, States or hometowns. Musical preferences, the situation in Vietnam, and recommendations for good weed or hash varieties also peppered our conversation. With this last topic Mike & I looked at each other and subtly shook our heads, deciding that it wasn’t the right place to try and sell our hash.

We didn’t have much time to get to know Andrew and Martha as they were only going to Christina Lake – about an hour’s distance – to visit Andrew’s brother, a draft dodger living on a commune near there. The entire trip along this southern highway offers nothing but splendor and beauty – if you exclude Trail of course, which, at that time, was one of the most polluting zinc, lead & germanium mines in the world, surrounded by a 10-mile radius of toxic death…otherwise, enjoy!

As we rounded the corner, above Christina Lake, Saul let out a deep breath and exclaimed, “Jesus, Jean Claude, Look at ‘dat!” “Dat’s why we drove ‘dis far man.” Blue skies, low-lying tree clad mountains, and a broad beautiful lake greeted us, so Saul took advantage of the vista and pulled over onto the Christina Lake Viewpoint, so he could take some photos. “’Ey, why don’ you all stand over dere togedder and I get your picture?” We assembled as requested, arms around shoulders, smiling – a moment in time, now sitting in a photo album on a bookshelf in Chicoutimi.

We all piled back into the van after Saul had managed to take a few photos with his old Minolta SR-2. “It’s an old camera ‘eh, I got it secon’ han’, but it take real good picture,” said Saul. “Saul, ‘e’s a good photographer y’know,” said Jean Claude, “’e got one of his photo in a magazine.” We all oohed and awed about this accomplishment, but the conversation was cut short when Christina Lake Village, and the gas station where Andrew & Martha had arranged to meet Andrew’s brother, appeared soon after.

Saul pulled over in the parking area, and we all got out to say goodbye to our Wisconsin friends, stretch our legs, use the washroom facilities, and pick up some snacks in the convenience store which was attached to the gas station. As Andrew and Martha, wandered over to the Ford F-150, which was idling nearby, waiting to pick them up, another young couple – who’d been hitchhiking nearby – ran over with their gear and said, “Hi, are you guys headed to the Okanagan?” Jean Claude replied, “Sure are, we’re goin’ to Penticton, you need a liff?”

We all hopped back into the van and, as we were pulling out of the gas station, Jean Claude noticed another single hitchhiker and hollered out the window, “Ey! We’re goin’ to Penticton, you wanna ride?” Happily, the solo trekker, gathered his stuff, threw it in the van and crawled in. “Thanks!” he said, wiping the sweat from his brow, and tucking his long straggly hair behind his ears, “been there for a while, and it’s getting kinda hot.”

With seven people now in the van, and temperatures reaching a summertime high, we were all feeling the heat – languidly sucking in whatever fresh air we could through windows, that often only opened a crack or slid halfway on these 60’s VW Microbuses.

We rolled through Grand Forks, which also had Doukhobor heritage, so Mike & I were now able to converse – almost intelligently – with our new travelling companions, about this aspect of West Kootenay history, after our five-hour tutorial, earlier that day, with Peter.

We climbed the summits and wound our way past the ranches and villages on this portion of the Crowsnest Highway that hugged the 49th parallel – sometimes within a few short miles of the American border. We tumbled into the Kettle Valley, and over the Kettle River where hobby farmers struggled for adequate water supply due to proximity to the arid Okanagan climate.

We pulled into the quirky little hamlet of Bridesville just to have a look, because Saul thought the name was funny, “Eh, man, let’s pull in ‘dere, Brideseville, maybe we’ll find one for you! “Dat would make yer mom so ‘appy!” he laughed.

The tour was brief. Bridesville’s main drag is its only street – one long block of escapist cottages, broken auto & appliance collectors, and a disproportionate gaggle of hoarder shacks. The settlement was originally called Maud, in honour of the first Postmaster’s wife – hopefully, Maud was more attractive than her namesake. “Oh man!” laughed Saul, as we prepared to exit Bridesville, “I don’t ‘tink you want a bride from ‘dere, maybe we better start lookin’ in “Girlfriendtown” first!” we all laughed. “I’m gonna start in Penticton,” replied Jean Claude, “where ‘dey got ‘da beach and ‘da bikini!” Everyone laughed.

We were now on the home stretch – the last bit of the Crowsnest, hugging the slopes of Anarchist Mountain, before the breathtaking descent into the Okanagan Valley. Rounding the first switchback gave us a brief glimpse of distant mountaintops and the depth of the valley below. By the second switchback hints of Osoyoos Lake appeared and everyone’s mood and anticipation rose.  By the third switchback – the first of two hairpin turns, and a designated lookout pullover – we stopped to savour the view and allow Saul to take a few more photos. “Oh man, dat’s sure beautiful, eh?” said Jean Claude. We all nodded, staring at the view which never grows old.

Emergency pull-off lane for trucks suffering brake loss, or, photo op for forlorn-looking hippie kids

Continuing on after this soul-satisfying pit stop, we rounded the second hairpin turn – Anarchist Mountain Lookout – which is so tight it’s only accessible to eastbound traffic. “Jeez man!” said Saul, “what’s wit’ all the Anarchist stuff, eh? It says, “Anarchist Lookout!” (he said with humorous emphasis) “is ‘dis sometin’ we gotta watch out for?” “Ha ha! No,” I replied, “I think it’s named after a prospector in the 1800’s who thought he was an anarchist. I’ve heard he used to go around with a stick of dynamite in his boot.” “Dat’s not anarchy,” said Jean Claude, “dat’s crazy!” “No shit!” I said, as everyone chuckled.

Now we were in full descent into the valley, just above the town of Osoyoos. It was pushing 6pm and it wouldn’t be long before the sun started to sink below the eastern mountains – sunset comes early to these mountain valley villages. As it turned out, the young couple we were travelling with – Aggie and Bruce – decided to get off in Osoyoos, as they were hungry, and felt like taking a day or two to explore this hot, beachy town before going further north. We dropped them off on the main strip within easy access to food and beaches, wished them well, and were off.

Within a few short blocks we also said goodbye to The Crowsnest Highway, veering right onto Hwy 97, for the rest of our trip north. “’Eh George, ‘joo know how much longer is it to Penticton?” “Yeah, I think it’s about an hour,” I said, “if we don’t need to stop.” “Naah, we got gas, and a little bit of food to get us ‘dere,” said Jean Claude, opening a bag of Old Dutch potato chips. “Anybody like a chip?” We all took turns, eagerly reaching in and grabbing a handful.

Our other travelling companion – Andy – was also 17 and just taking a bit of the summer off from his home in Edmonton to explore BC. He was intending to meet a buddy in Penticton to hang out and continue hitchhiking together from there. Our new Quebecois friends were now on a mission to complete this part of their trip, and get to Penticton so they could park, sit on a beach, take off their shoes, put their feet in the warm sand, and drink some beer. These sounded like admirable goals, and we all planned to emulate them in similar fashion.

We were travelling now through Canada’s fruit basket. Small farms, orchards, and roadside fruit stands line the highway between Osoyoos and Penticton. The only thing slowing us down was the occasional John Deere hauling a load of fertilizer, fruit, or equipment – and the difficulty passing on this two-lane highway during the busy summer months. “Jesus!” said Saul, as he tried to peer around the tractor, looking for an opportunity to pass, “doesn’t ‘e know ‘dere are chicks and cold Labatt’s waiting for me on a beach in Penticton?” “Not sure if there are any chicks waiting for me,” I said, “but I know there’s a cheese sandwich with Doukhobor jam, with my name on it.” We all laughed. 

We squeezed through the town of Oliver, hugged the shores of Vaseaux Lake, hung a hard left in downtown OK Falls, and made the final descent of our day’s journey onto the Skaha Lake beach area – the southern portion of the Penticton land bridge. “Once we get over the canal, you guys can drop me anywhere along Skaha beach,” said Andy, “my buddy’s been sleeping under the bridge, and hangs out on the beach there,” “Hey yeah, we might as well get off there too,” said Mike, “unless you wanna join us on the beach.” “Oh ‘tanks you guys,” said Jean Claude, “it’s been fun but I ‘tink we’re gonna cruise around a bit, find some ice and beer for ‘de cooler, and grab some food, Tabarnak I’m ‘ungry!”

We three hitchhikers all piled out at the closest parking area, shook hands, and said “Au Revoir” to our new Quebecois buddies, slung our packs over our shoulders and wandered down to the nearby beach.

It was approaching 8pm and although the light was waning, the air remained hot and dry on this mid-summer Okanagan evening.  The vista looking over Skaha Lake from Skaha beach was as beautiful and embracing as a warm hug. We took off our sneakers to walk barefoot in the sand. “My buddy Eddy should be along here somewhere,” said Andy, “I just talked to him on the phone yesterday.” We wandered past families with kids wrapping it up for the evening, and young couples just settling in on blankets for picnics and romance. Soon, Andy spied his pal and waved. “Hey Eddy!” Eddy was sitting on the sand with another couple of straggly-haired teens, passing around a bottle that appeared to be hard liquor. “Hey Andy! Grab a seat,” he said, “we’ve got some booze.” Our ears perked up, we smiled ingratiatingly and joined the circle.

“This is George & Mike,” said Andy, “we’ve been stuck in a hot van since Christina Lake.” Everyone nodded amicably, hands were shaken, the bottle was passed, and we all took a swig. “We don’t have any booze to share with you guys,” I said, “but anyone like a cheese sandwich?” “Sure thing,” said Andy, “I haven’t eaten since Christina Lake…and I wanna try the Doukhobor jam thing.” “Doukhobor jam?” inquired Eddy, “they make great jam. If you’ve got some, I’ll have a sandwich too.” The other two companions declined, and I began making sandwiches for four, while the bottle continued making the rounds.

Sandwiches were eaten, the bottle of Canadian Club was downed, and the moon appeared, continuing on its path to fullness, casting much light over the yellow sandy beach. Playful couples dashed from their blankets, running, splashing and diving into the Lake. “Man, that looks like fun, I’m goin’ in!” shouted Andy, as he stripped down to his skivvies and ran into the water. Mike and I decided to join him, feeling a need to get the last few days of road dust, heat, and sweat off our bodies, and Eddy ran in naked because that’s what slightly drunk teens like to do.

Back on the beach, we hauled our little towels out of our backpacks and dried off. Our circadian rhythms were adjusting to life on the road, and we found ourselves getting tired shortly after sundown and waking refreshed and full of energy at the first hint of daylight – which was around 5:30 or 6. “I’m thinking of calling it a day,” said Mike, “I think I’m just going to find a quiet spot on the beach and sleep.” “Yeah, me too,” I said, “it’s been a pretty long day.” “The cops don’t let people sleep on the beach,” said Eddy, “they’ll be coming around to check. You guys should join us under the bridge…it’s sandy and they don’t bother us there.” “Sounds good,” we agreed, “lead the way!”

The other teens from our circle, who hailed from Toronto, declined and decided to hitchhike downtown to “see what was goin’ on,” while we assembled our stuff and followed Eddy up the beach, to check out our new accommodations under the bridge.

Just what exactly goes on, “under a bridge?” From childhood fairy tales, we know that a fearsome and ravenous troll lives there, waiting to devour all those who try to pass. In the current era, sleeping under a bridge connotes homelessness, drug addiction and despair. Although we were transient youth, we were not “homeless” per se, but out searching, seeking and exploring – we all had good homes to return to anytime we wished. And none of us were drug addicted or despairing – yes, we liked alcohol and the occasional joint – but it was all still experimental and fun, and not atypical of teens our age across North America. But under this bridge we would get a glimpse of what was to come – our first whiff of the fearsome and ravenous troll of addiction in the shape and form of two young guys from Vancouver – Barney and Zac.

It was still light enough to see, with twilight and our three-quarter moon. We followed the path at the end of beach until we were all standing under the bridge, looking for a place to park ourselves on the sand for the night, when we noticed two other young guys sitting about 20 feet away passing a plastic bag, with a small amount of liquid in it, back and forth, placing the aperture over their mouths, and inhaling deeply. “Oh, heya Eddy,” slurred Barney as Zac inhaled from the bag, “D’you wanna try some?” “Naah, I told you guys yesterday I don’t do that stuff,” replied Eddy tersely. “How ‘bout you guysh?” slurred Zac turning to us, as he removed the bag from his mouth, “Itsh good shtuff. Itsh not glue, itsh Cutex, doeshn’t fuck you up like glue.” “Uh…no thanks Dude,” “Not for me thanks,” “Nope,” came the quick and firm replies from Andy, Mike & I.

Even at our young age, there was a definite hierarchy forming amongst people who liked to experiment and get a little high – and “sniffers” were definitely at the bottom of that class structure. “Sorry guys,” said Eddy, “I forgot to mention these dudes, they’ve been coming here for the last couple of days, are you still ok crashing here for the night?” Mike and Andy and I looked at each other and agreed that it should be ok – especially now that our inhaler neighbours appeared to be nodding off, or in some state of oblivion.

We hauled out our bags and assembled ourselves as far away from Barney and Zac as possible, and passed the night in a fitful sleep, waking at the slightest sound and looking over to make sure they were still unconscious…but breathing.

Oftentimes, “free” is not worth it. We woke with the first hint of light and were able to look at our surroundings more clearly. Barney and Zac were still passed out, but now we could see the detritus of many previous transients who’d taken advantage of “The Bridge Resort & Spa.” Let’s just say, that it was in the days before recycling, or regular trash pick-up in such places, by the City of Penticton. “Let’s get out of here dude,” I said to Mike, “this place sucks.” “I hear you man,” he said, zipping up his sleeping bag and assembling his pack. Andy & Eddy lifted their heads and gave us sleepy goodbyes as we headed back towards the beach. “You guys should go check out Okanagan Beach,” said Eddy, “there’s more of a scene there.” “Yeah, I think that’s the plan,” I replied, “maybe we’ll see you guys there. See ya!”

As it was early in the day, and still relatively cool out, we decided to forego hitchhiking, preferring instead to walk to OK Beach, and look for a place to eat enroute. We wandered up Skaha Lake Road which took us past strip malls and gas stations, flamingo-coloured motel units and parking lots, churches from previously unheard-of denominations and body-shops, low-cost housing and apartment blocks, and a myriad of other assorted businesses – the kind of establishments where we were assured to find breakfast in our price range.

The world hadn’t been completely consumed by franchises yet, so we stopped at Bert’s Restaurant, which proudly announced its “All-Day Breakfast for $1.50” and a bottomless cup of coffee. I had only recently been exposed to coffee at the hostel in Calgary, but I liked the buzz and loved the “bottomless cup” concept. As a pair of ravenous teens, we hoovered our bacon, eggs, hashbrowns and toast, slathered with butter and copious amounts of jam, and washed it all down with – what else? – bottomless cups of coffee.

Skaha turned into Main Street, and soon we found ourselves in the older part of Penticton’s commercial district, where density increases, parking lots give way to curbside meters, smaller Mom ‘n Pop businesses now hug the sidewalk, and mini-malls and residences have disappeared.

It was starting to get warm as the sun rose higher in the cloudless blue sky. Seeking a little more freedom of movement, and respite from the heat, we decided to ditch our packs somewhere and explore “Playground Penticton” unencumbered. “Maybe we should see if we can find a hostel,” said Mike, “we could probably leave our stuff there.” “Yeah, or a Salvation Army, or something,” I replied. As we discussed this, Tim from Trail, whom we met last night in our Skaha swigging circle came wandering up and said, “Hey, what’s up?” We told him what we were considering, and he said, “Follow me, there’s a church nearby where I’ve been leaving my pack. It seems to be empty all day so you can just walk in, stash it, and pick it up later.”

Tim’s church of choice – St. Andrew’s Presbyterian on Martin street – was just a few blocks from where we were standing – a big old stone throwback with a spire and lancet windows, looking as it may have been lifted from a 18th century Scottish village. We opened the big red door and walked in, only to discover (and be discovered by) the Pastor, who was sitting at a table surrounded by paperwork. “Hello, can I help you?” he said, smiling. Caught slightly off guard by his presence, Tim spoke up, “Hi, I left my pack here yesterday while I explored Penticton, do you mind if my friends and I leave our packs here today while we look around?” “Oh, that was your pack,” said the Pastor, “yes, I think that’ll be ok, probably going to be a hot one today and those packs look heavy – why don’t you just leave them under the front pew seats there, “he pointed, “they’ll be safe there, just keep in mind that I lock up at 6 so you’ll have to get them before then.” We all thanked him profusely, stashed our packs and prepared to leave, when he asked, “Are any of you Presbyterian?” I turned and said, “My Scottish family on my father’s side is Presbyterian, and my mother’s Swedish family is Lutheran.” “God bless you all,” he replied, “go out and enjoy the day.”

The three of us carried on down Martin Street, heading for the beach and getting to know a little more about our new best temporary friend Tim, who was another 17-year-old taking a pause between grade 11 and 12 to get away from home and explore BC. “Have you guys done the beach scene here before?” he asked, “I’ve been to Penticton,” I replied, “but never alone or with a buddy.” “It’s pretty cool,” he replied, “I’ve been hitchhiking here every summer since I was 14, lots of chicks, lots of hippies and plenty of good dope.” Mike and I grinned and nodded in eager anticipation at Tim’s description, “Great!” we both exclaimed. “Sounds like what we’ve been looking for since we left home,” said Mike, “didn’t find it in Grindrod, that’s for sure!” I laughed, “I dunno Mike, Madge made a pretty good grilled cheese sandwich.” Tim didn’t know what we were talking about, but he detected humour, and all three of us joined in on the infectious laughter.

The Beach and The Peach

We passed Gyro and Veterans Memorial Park, with their already-inviting canopy of trees, as temperatures were heading north of 75 degrees. Noticing – just as Tim had illustrated for us – a sudden youth culture community, of all shapes, colours, sexes, and sizes…sitting, lying, walking, necking, running, toking, eating, playing guitar, and throwing frizbee, in a kaleidoscope of hippie-esque bliss.

We continued on, crossing Lakeshore Drive into Rotary Park where the soft white sands of Okanagan Lake Beach begin, and the denim, leather, and colourful tie-dyed caftans have been discarded in favour of bikinis and bathing suits. Skin abounds, and libidos have been dialed up. Music and marijuana floated on the breeze from assorted jam sessions, competing with the volume button of cassette decks scattered around the park. Sex, Drugs and Rock n’ Roll have invaded Rotary Park. “Shit, I didn’t bring my bathing suit,” said Mike, “Yeah, me neither, and I don’t think I’m going to strip down to my underwear here,” I said, “at least not till it gets dark.” “Let’s keep walking guys,” said Tim, “there’s a whole beach to check out, lots of babes – and you haven’t even seen The Peach yet.” “Ha ha! The Peach, yeah, we have to show Mike The Peach,” I said, “you can’t say you’ve been to Penticton, till you’ve kissed The Peach.” “What the fuck is The Peach?” asked Mike. “Oooh, you’ll find out soon,” I said, “follow Tim.”

Following the curve of the beach, and the curves of the bikini-clad girls, we rounded a corner, and there it was – The Peach – in all of its large, ball-shaped, faded, peach-coloured beauty. “Ha ha! It’s an ice cream stand!” said Mike, as Tim and I laughed. “Yeah,” I said, “and they make pretty good ice cream – I think I’m gonna have one.” We all bellied up to the serving window and ordered our favourite cones. “Mmm, Pralines and Cream, I love this stuff,” I said, as Mike & Tim slathered over their Chocolate and Strawberry. We decided to take a break and sat with our cones under the nearest shade tree and watched the human parade pass by.

Mike took me aside for a moment as Tim went to use the washroom, “Should we try selling our hash down here?” He posited, “seems to be the right scene for it.” “Yeah, I think so too,” I replied, “but it’s all in your backpack so we’ll have to wait till later when we get them from the church.” “Oh yeah, right,” he said, “maybe after we grab the packs and find a place to eat.” Just then, Tim came back from the washroom. “Hey Tim, any recommendations for a cheap place to eat? Do you go to the hostel?” “Hostel’s been closed, ‘cuz they’ve got staffing problems, and way too many hitchhikers,” he said, “I’ve been going to the Salvation Army ‘cuz I’m broke, and it’s cheap…but the food’s shitty and it’s kinda far away.” We all paused and pondered, while I nurtured a growing urge to eat Kentucky Fried Chicken, having seen Dinner Boxes advertised on a KFC outlet nearby for only $1.75.

We carried on down the beach, chatting, laughing, ogling, and rejoicing in our newfound teen freedom, all the way to the SS Sicamous – a paddle wheeler beached permanently as part of a heritage park, at the far end of the beach. Tim looked at his watch, and said, “Hey guys, it’s after 5, we should probably make our way back and get our stuff.” “Good idea,” we agreed. We turned and retraced our route – struggling to avoid a second ice cream cone – and foregoing Rotary Park for a quick right up Martin Street and the last four blocks to St. Andrews. It was quarter-to-six, and the Pastor was standing on the stoop waiting for us. “Ahh, there you boys are, I was getting worried,” he said, “just getting ready to call it a day.” He held the door for us as we strolled in and grabbed our packs. We all thanked him profusely, shook his hand, and wandered down the steps as he poked his head out the door and said, “God bless you three, and keep you safe!” We all turned, smiled, and waved as we headed towards Main Street.

“I’m hungry,” I said, “how about a little KFC?” Mike was willing but Tim hesitated, and said, “I was thinking of doing a little panhandling before dinner, but maybe I could meet you guys after.” I looked at Mike and said, “Hey Dude, Mike and I can buy you a little KFC.  We can getcha one of those dinner boxes, they’re only like a buck seventy-five.” “Oh, thanks man,” he replied, earnestly, “I am pretty hungry, and I never know how long it’ll take me to collect a couple of bucks,” and then quipped, “you Presbyterians are the best!” To which we all laughed, “That’s the first time I’ve been in a church since Sunday School!” I replied, laughing. We wandered into the KFC and sat down at three window seats with our three Dinner Boxes and feasted.

Post repast, as Mike and I prepared to meander back to the park with our perilous fantasy of selling some of our questionable hash to unwitting customers, Tim said, “Hey guys, thanks a lot for the KFC, I gotta go meet my buddy Allan at the liquor store, we’re doing a little panhandling there so I gotta head out…gotta make enough for breakfast! Maybe see you at the beach tomorrow!” “OK man, good luck!” I replied as we parted company.

The sun was slowly creeping lower in the cloudless sky, but it was still quite hot, so most of “the scene” had gravitated to Gyro Park, where the deciduous trees offered cool relief, and a small group of acoustic musicians had taken over the Bandshell for a free concert. A few mobile food stalls, selling burgers, fries, and cold drinks were parked on Main to take advantage of the large group of hungry teens and 20-somethings wandering between Gyro, Memorial, Rotary, and the beach.

We plunked ourselves within earshot of the Bandshell, so we could hear the music and be closer to “our market.” This feels like the best place we’ve seen to try and unload some of this stuff,” said Mike, “what’re we gonna call it? It’s not Blonde and firm like Lebanese, or black and oily like Afghani.” “It’s kinda red and crumbly,” I said, “and probably smells like snuff, or whatever that dickhead gave us.” “How about just Moroccan Red?” laughed Mike. “Yeah,” I giggled, “let’s blame it on the Moroccans!” We both pondered this and agreed that that would be the name for our product launch, now we had to come up with a marketing campaign. “What about, you stand up and shout, ‘Hey everybody! We’re selling hash!’” suggested Mike, breaking into fits of laughter. “Ha ha! Sure!” I said, “I can just imagine the rush of customers followed shortly thereafter by severe beatings.” “If people complain, we just give ‘em their money back,” suggested Mike. “Yeah, sounds good,” I concurred, “let’s just wait till it gets a bit darker.”

It wasn’t legal to drink or smoke pot in the park, but that didn’t stop this large group of young party-minded kids. It was Penticton in summertime – one of BC’s premier “fun in the sun” destinations – and no one could remember where the off switch was located. The sun set over the western range, bottles came out of backpacks, joints were fired up, the band turned it up to “11,” dancing ensued, and those who were not already well-supplied began their search for intoxicants.

A scraggly-bearded teen stood up near us and said – rather loudly, to those sitting nearby – “Anybody got any pot?” ‘Hmm, who needs a marketing campaign?’ I thought.  “Yeah, we’ve got a bit of hash,” said Mike. “Great,” he said, walking over towards us, “how much for a gram?” “Just five bucks,” said Mike, pulling out his little baggie of tinfoil wrapped hash. While this transaction was going on, another young guy approached us, “Did I hear that you guys’ve got hash?” “Yeah,” I said standing up and pulling out my small stash, “Just five bucks.” Word seemed to spread quickly, and soon Mike and I were doing a fairly brisk business, as faces appeared out of the dark and commerce took place.

Somewhere within the flow of money coming in and little tinfoil wrapped packages going out, a bearded hippie-kid emerged from the crowd and approached Mike to make a purchase. Their deal seemed to take a little longer than others, and when he turned and left, Mike came to me and said, grinning, “Dude, I just sold a gram of hash for two hits of Blotter Acid!” as he held out his hand showing me two tiny pieces of paper within a folded piece of wax paper. “C’mon, let’s do this!” he said, while placing a hit on his tongue.

I had only done acid once before, and did not have fond memories of the experience. Seven or eight hours careening an out-of-control locomotive, while wrestling with intense physical, emotional and visual hallucinations, and bouts of paranoia, did not leave me with that “gotta do that again soon” kinda feeling.

 How quickly we forget. I paused for a moment, then reached over and grabbed the Blotter between thumb and forefinger and popped it in my mouth – second time lucky? I took a deep breath and steeled myself.

“This is gonna be crazy,” said Mike, “I haven’t done acid since last summer. Do you remember that time on the beach in Victoria?” “Yeah, don’t remind me,” I said, “did you have a good trip?” “Ha Ha, no,” he said, “way too intense, but I’ve been wanting to try it again. I think we had bad shit last year, and this guy just told me that this was good stuff.” “Yeah, just like our hash is good stuff,” I said. “Hmm, good point,” said Mike, thoughtfully, “well, it can’t be worse than last year. That was intense!” “Yeah, I guess we’re going to find out,” I replied, unconvinced.

After the initial enthusiasm, our little business traffic had died down, and we were left dealing with the occasional word of mouth customer. We’d both sold 6 or 7 grams each, out of the stash of 27 we’d brough along for the trip, so were feeling pretty good about our decision – and already counting the additional $30ish dollars we’d made, each, for travel expenses.

It was a dark and warm Okanagan evening, and the party in the park showed no signs of abating, but I was beginning to feel apprehensive. It had been half an hour since we consumed our acid, and I could feel the roller coaster making a slow climb up the first hill. “Are you feeling anything?” I asked Mike, “Yeah,” he replied, breathing deeply and turning sideways to give me a wary grin. Great, I thought, here we go.

Just then, a recent customer walked towards us, with determination and a frown on his face, “Hey,” he said, holding out his hand with an open piece of tinfoil and hash, exposed in his palm, “this stuff is shit.” “Huh?” I replied, turning to face him as my apprehension and body chemistry continued fighting for supremacy. “I think you’ll have to speak to our Quality Control Manager,” I replied, trying to elicit a smile – to no effect, “uhh, Mike?” “Oh, hi,” said Mike, “No, not high at all,” came the displeased hippie’s reply, “this is bad hash, I don’t know what it is.” “Uhh, it’s Moroccan Red,” Mike replied timidly, eyes starting to glaze over, “yeah…, it’s a different kinda high, sorta mild,” he continued, in a vain attempt at persuasion. Realizing the futility of this effort, he said, “Uuh, sorry you don’t like it dude – here, I’ll give you your money back,” pulling a crumpled blue Sir Wilfred Laurier out of his pocket and exchanging it for the returned item.

Mike and I looked at each other. “That was a bit edgy,’ I said, “I sure hope we don’t get a lot of angry returns, I’m getting pretty high,” as I licked my dry lips, and took a deep breath, with eyes darting around the dancing darkness. “Yeah,” came Mike’s voice, sounding far away, though he was standing nearby. As my ears crackled and adjusted to this altered audio reality, a stranger came towards us and said in slow motion, “Hi, I heard you guys might have some hash for sale?” Mike picked up on this first and said, “Yeah, five bucks a gram,” as he fumbled for more product from his baggie. This was followed by a previous purchaser and his girlfriend, who approached us smiling and said, “Hi, we bought a gram from you guys earlier, and really like the high…kinda mild, but doesn’t mess you up. Do you have any more for sale?” Slightly taken aback by this request, I hesitated for a moment, conjured a smile onto my anxious face, and did the new transaction – mystified and tripping, as the happy customers wandered back into the crowd.

“That was weird,” I said to Mike, “someone actually liked our hash.” “Yeah, totally weird,” he replied, “maybe it was their first time.” As we discussed this new twist, another angry dissatisfied purchaser came up demanding his money back. This time, neither of us tried to explain anything, we were getting too buzzed – so a quick intake at the Return Counter, filling out the proper forms and a return of purchase price. As our emotional states and fortunes were rising and falling with the mood of our clients, a bearded face that we hadn’t seen previously loomed out of the darkness and said in a low raspy voice, “You guys better be careful, there are Narcs and undercover cops in the park, busting guys for possession – you’d get in deep shit if they caught you dealing.” Now, as I added paranoia, onto my crippling mix of anxiety, and altered senses, a young woman emerged from the crowd and said sweetly, “Hi, I hear that you guys are selling hash.” I was starting to feel like an aardvark on a freeway – from a different world, moving at a different pace while my emotional roller coast tried to decide if it was doing the slow climb up to fearful new heights, or getting ready to plunge screaming down the hill around the breakneck curve. It didn’t, however, prevent me from making this one last sale before I turned to Mike and whispered, “Dude, I think we gotta get outta here…we’re either going to get beaten up or busted by Narcs, I’m way too high for this.” “I’m with you,” said Mike, exhaling and licking his lips, “let’s split.”

We shouldered our packs and wandered – as inconspicuously as possible – out of the park and away from the scene, dialing down the intensity with every step that took us further away from Gyromania.

“What’re we gonna do?” asked Mike. “I dunno dude,” I said, “let’s head up Main Street and stick out our thumbs and see what happens.” It was 11 o’clock and we were at least 3 hours into this 7- or 8-hour trip from which we could not escape. Main Street wasn’t much more calming, the street had been turned into a drag strip for drunken youths, who hung out their windows grinning, looking for girls, and yelling at passersby, and the sidewalks were full of locals and transients milling about searching for some kind of scene. We continued to walk, keeping a low profile and waiting for an opportune moment and place to stick out our thumbs. As the downtown core thinned out, we found a spot and started hitchhiking. Spotting a garbage can nearby, we decided to get rid of our “merchandise” at the urging of the acid and paranoia within. There was still a fair bit of heckling from drunken greaseballs and jocks driving by, giving us the finger, and laughing, but finally an old ’52 GMC pickup pulled over driven by two sullen 30-something hippies, with a couple of other transient-looking teens riding in the back. “Where you goin’?” we asked, “Heading to Keremeos,” said the front seat passenger, “Great,” I said, “can we join you?” “Hop in,” he replied. We threw our packs in the back next to the other transient kids, and climbed in.

With a certain amount of control and effort, we introduced ourselves to the kids we’d be sharing the ride in the open cargo bed with. Frank and Ted also seemed a bit withdrawn but managed to explain that they were working on a commune outside of Keremeos – for room and board – that was basically run by Al and Darcy, the sullen driver and his companion. After these brief intros, we all withdrew into ourselves as the wind, and noise from the truck made conversation awkward.

The lights from Penticton competed with the starry night and the ascendant moon, for our attention, while internally, the silent battle between serenity and anarchy raged on. Luckily, the forces of control, acceptance and peace seemed to be gaining the upper hand. While my inner voice said, “C’mon, only 3 or 4 more hours, you got this.” And then, unexpectedly, the driver chose not to follow the familiar highway south to Keremeos – but hung a hard right onto an alternate route called Green Mountain Road, a route I’d never heard of. Forces of control, acceptance and peace down, paranoia up. “Where’re we goin’? I asked. “Green Mountain Road…it’s a shortcut to Keremeos…real pretty and quiet…hardly any traffic,” said Frank. “What’s up with Al and Darcy?”, I asked, “they don’t seem super friendly.” “They came up today, bringing vegetables from the commune to sell at the Farmer’s Market but didn’t have a good day,” said Ted, “too much competition and too many people at the beach – no one was buying.” “And then Ted and I dropped some acid at the concert at Gyro Park and they’re kinda pissed at us,” said Frank.  Mike and I both looked at them, giggled nervously and said, “No shit! We must’ve done the same acid…we’re just baked!” They both laughed and said, “Yeah, we’re tripping – Al and Darcy are pissed because we’re gonna be useless at the commune tomorrow.” We all leaned back against the walls of the cab to absorb this new info, and then slowly retreated into ourselves. The warm summer air washed over us, and the only noise we could hear was the shifting of gears as the Chev slowly climbed out of the valley and up the slopes of Green Mountain.

After an hour of Green Mountain Road meditation, we finally descended into the Similkameen Valley, near Olalla enroute to Keremeos. We asked to be dropped off downtown – back on the Crowsnest –  so we could figure out our next move, which did not seem to be sleep, given the trajectory of our high. We said goodbye to Frank & Ted and waved at Darcy and Al who waved back. Packs assembled, and boots on ground, Mike turned to me and asked, “How’re you doin’ man?” I’m still pretty high, how about you?”, I replied. “Yeah, I think it’s about 1:00am so got a couple more hours…I hate this shit, don’t ever let me buy acid again.” We both chuckled. “OK, I’ll keep an eye on you – I don’t like these trips either…too intense and too long…let’s walk.”

We wandered east, along the number 3. Traffic was thin given the hour, but it didn’t matter as we weren’t hitchhiking, we were searching for a place to crash. It was dark, but the moon cast a considerable glow, so our route was well-lit. Since receiving irrigation in the 50’s, Keremeos and Cawston have been renowned for their Fruit and Berry growing, even receiving recognition as the Fruit Stand Capital of Canada. If we weren’t so stoned and completely lacking hunger, we would likely have stopped to relieve the trees of some of their fruit. As it was, the local farming economy was so robust and in-season, we were having difficulty spotting any vacant or abandoned buildings to sleep in.

“I dunno man,” said Mike, after we’d walked for about an hour and were now on the western edge of Cawston, “I’m getting’ kinda tired, maybe we should just sleep in a field or something.” “Yeah, me too,” I said, “how about an orchard? bit more privacy.” We agreed on this and started scanning to the left and right sides of the road for a nice little orchard with good-sized fruit trees, so we could just lay our sleeping bags out and rest – without being too exposed as we would be in an open field.

Within short order, we found our perfect little sleeping spot. An apple orchard with 15-foot-high trees and a good canopy. We chose the middle row and walked in 200 feet or so, took off our packs, removed our sleeping bags, folded our towels into little head rests, then removed our runners, and crawled into our sleeping bags and fell into a deep sleep.

And this would’ve gone swimmingly well, if the irrigation system hadn’t kicked in around 3am. Tsst-tsst-tsst-tsst-tsst-tsst came the sound of irrigation heads coming to life and beginning their nightly task of spinning and shooting their life-giving water to the ever-thirsty apple trees. If we didn’t wake immediately to the recognizable tsst-tsst sound, the cold splash of water falling on our faces was enough to make Mike and I rouse and say, “Shit!” together, and then struggle out of our slumber to feverishly assemble our possessions, and then run, laughing hysterically amidst the sprays of water, as we searched for the quickest way out.

“…on the Ferry to Tsawassen”

It’s October 10, 2024 and I’ve wrapped up my busy summer season at Shavasana Gallery & Café (https://shavasana.ca/2024/10/07/end-of-summer-season-wrap-up-reflections-projections/). As seems to be the case during these last 4 or 5 years (of an 11-year journey on Mayne Island – Pandemic closures notwithstanding), I’ve created a seasonal rhythm which comprises of a rather intense (for me at least, as a lazy & easily distracted 69-year old) May thru October “busy season” at the Gallery Café, and then a slower Fall/Winter season where I can dedicate more time to my wife Cathy, my son Cameron & his family (including a soon-to-be 2-year-old Grandson), my Vancouver friends, and……..my creative process.

Everything I now refer to as my “Creative Process” (Mask Making: https://clayandbone.com/portfolio/ , The Accidental Curator podcast: https://www.theaccidentalcurator.ca/ , writing: https://clayandbone.com/category/words-stories-journals/ , or sequel to my “All Roads at Any Time” book: https://clayandbone.com/book-all-roads-at-any-time/ )pretty much happens during this slower season. Although I still produce the occasional mask and bang out 2 or 3 podcasts during this period, most of my creative energy has been focussed on writing – which was moving along quite well last November thru April with 10 short stories “in the hopper” for a Volume 2 of “All Roads at Any Time”…but then the busy season hit and everything was put on hold.

Sorry to be boring you with all these mundane details of my process, but part of this effort is designed to help me break through my current “post busy-season inertia”…I view this blog/journal post as a sketch before I recommence painting – a writing exercise, as it were, to get the keyboard fingers, the brain, and the focus working together.

Inertia can be defined as passivity, but I know that my problem runs deeper than that – it contains an active element of avoidance or procrastination. And now, combined with all the troubling & worrisome geo/politico/enviro issues besetting us in these times, and the plethora of devices giving us constant internet access, with countless media sources and their polarizing opinion factories, it’s no wonder that a fella might be feeling – if not neurotic, anxious or depressed – at least a little bit……off. 🤔 I know that it’s necessary to discard these toxic distractions, roll up the sleeves, break through the inertia, and get back to “Plan ABC”…my writing gig. And, although I truly enjoy writing – once I’m engaged in a particular story or blog article – the transition from “Frenetic Curator Barista” to deeply reflective wordsmith takes a little time and patience, and warm-up exercises, like writing this blog.

And it’s always a little strange writing on this Journal/Blog because I rarely know if I’m reaching anyone. It’s like busking on the shoulder of Hwy I up the Fraser Canyon, outside of Spuzzum, as the cars and Semis go whizzing by. I know that a number of you have “signed up”, but I don’t follow my stats (although WordPress sends me updates), nor do I spend time or energy actively promoting this website (SEO & such, unless I’ve just written a new short story – then perhaps a little social media flurry will follow). My Podcast is a little easier to track, because I see the number of people that have downloaded it whenever I access the Podbean host site…currently fluctuating between 50 – 100ish listeners (topping out at 161 with my Famous Empty Sky interview: https://www.theaccidentalcurator.ca/e/episode-3-famous-empty-sky-interview/) My book has been easier to track because I’m directly involved with “Sales & Distribution”…luckily, and unlike most authors, I have an Art Gallery Café (https://shavasana.ca/ ) where I can sell my book, plus an Amazon presence & a Bookstore ( https://booksonmayne.com/ ), and to-date, have sold about 160 copies. I have zero expectations and am happy with all of this, because I enjoy the process.👍😊

For the past 11 years – the length of time I’ve been commuting from Tsawassen Ferry Terminal to Mayne Island and back – I’ve been keeping a Journal. I usually write on the hour-and-a-half trip back, keeping a record of my weekend Shavasana Gallery & Café activities, and my entries usually start with “…on the ferry to Tsawassen”. To date, I’ve filled 4 notebooks, and have switched to WordDocs recently to save lugging books around and writing longhand. So, although I’m not currently on “the ferry to Tsawassen” (I’m at my neighbourhood Starbucks in Kitsilano sipping a Tall Dark) and this is not a WordDoc, and it’s no longer October 10th (it’s the 12th), I’m going to treat this blog like a stream-of-consciousness journal entry with some thoughts, feelings, observations & experiences – a “further on down the road” snapshot, since I last did a similar, journal-type entry in January ’22.( https://clayandbone.com/2022/01/17/well-that-didnt-happen/ )

I’ve noticed, lately, that when asked, “Hey, how you doin’?” I’ve found myself oft replying, “Well, it’s a little bit of “The Good, the Bad & the Ugly”. Life feels very complex these days and “Pretty good how ’bout you?”, doesn’t seem to cut it and even feels like a brush-off. (Maybe that’s why people have stopped asking!🤣) One thing I have learned is to always try and find gratitude, even when things seem “Bad or Ugly” (and this seems particularly germane today as it is now October 14 – Thanksgiving Day🙏) Despite this positive affirmation, we are still – seemingly – in a challenging, multi-polarized, historical moment, which calls out for help…and I feel at a loss to genuinely know what to do. Of course, my AA brethren would direct me to Reinhold Niebuhr’s “Serenity Prayer”, which begins: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change…”

Ok…I’m rambling, and here’s a peek into my “post-busy-season” brainfocus – it’s now October 17, I started this “exercise” a week ago and its taken me 7 days to write 7 paragraphs. No, I haven’t been sitting in front of a computer sweating over this piece for 7 days…I’ve been quite busy. Although I’m not enamoured of the preceding paragraph, I’m going to leave it in, because the purpose of this Journal/Blog was not to create a lengthy avoidance project and editing nightmare but to get back to the short story I started in April, called “Anarchist Ridge.”

Before that however, I do want to dedicate a little energy to my journalling process, and try and capture some of “The Good, the Bad & the Ugly.” of the past 6 months through a few photos I’ve taken. If you follow my Shavasana website, or Facebook account you may have seen some of these photos posted recently…and wow! look at that! It’s now October 23rd, and I’m just returning to this Journal post that I thought I was going to wrap up last week😆…yet again, I have been too busy to write, having spent the last 5 days travelling to and from Mayne Island and running Shavasana Art Gallery Café…ok, I think I am now officially blethering – combining tedium with insignificance in a particularly George Bathgate way…bring on some photos!

“The Office”

This is where I am currently sitting – the Starbucks at the corner of Balaclava & Broadway in Kitsilano – “my office”…I love the light, the good energy & the coffee

The Good – in no particular order

The Good Friends & Family:

An assortment of friends and family – this year was a little different because of visits from friends from my deep past, many of whom I hadn’t seen in decades: Best pal Herbie from Grade 1; my German friend Christiana whom I met in Crete in 1974; High School friends Eric & Kathy; and and old girlfriend Susan from the late 70’s.

The Good Music:

A fabulous year of jamming – summers on the porch, inside on the colder windier days. With a few performances thrown in for good measure: “Hrothgar & Heshedahl” on the porch & The Stones at BC Place Stadium with my son in June

The Good Neighbours:

Neighbours Justine, Billie and WT Collinson (the original colonist settler of Miner’s Bay, his first nations wife and 3 of their children) – with whom I share the magic & beauty of this 10 acre waterfront property on Miner’s Bay

The Generosity:

I am genuinely humbled by the kindness and generosity of my community – special thanks to Esnie & Joseph, Margaret & Andrea, Fil, Stephen & Joyce, Bill, Bob, Billie, Kathleen, Empty Sky & Jim, Gail, Katherine, Vicki & Harold, Allen & Kim, Keith & Alicia, Brenda, Dave & Kelly & Michael (and to those I have missed) for: Fruit of all kinds; decadent yummy treats from the market; salmon, venison, shrimp, corn, vegetables; Chicken Soup, bread & rice to tide me over while I had Covid; 3 books authored by Island Writers: Joseph Loh, Jeremy Borsos & John O’Brien; preserves – jams & chutneys; Bouquets galore; people who offer their assistance & time – babysitting Shavasana while I’m gone, fixing two lamps, constructive advice, car repairs…etc, etc; hand made cards – including a string of 17 very thoughtful, hand-made song-lyric cards, by Mary, to give away as mementos to guests; plus, arts & crafts, and – perhaps best of all – a set of knee pads from my landlord! (No, it’s not what you think – it’s to make gardening easier🤣)

The Beautiful

I woke up recently, aware of the many blessings in my life, some of which are included in this series of photos – the vistas, the flowers, the art in my Gallery, my beautiful & bright wife Cathy…and a few others which have given me joy this year but need a little ‘splainin’: my new book “All Roads at Any Time” displayed on the Ferry and in the Library; my son Cam, wife Nekita & Grandson Mateo at the Japanese Garden in winter; and the new pie shop in my neighbourhood – I like pie🥧😋

The Animal Friends

I find that the arrival of animals of all varieties – mammal, amphibian, avian, and even insect – brings an element of joy and good energy into my life. Shavasana Gallery & Café is welcoming to all such creatures(well, with the exception of the last 3 major infestations of carpenter ants, caterpillars, and wasps!), and I’m especially delighted when friends – or strangers- show up with their dogs or cats…or frogs! (I always keep a good supply of treats for any of our furry friends) Cathy and I adopted a very small squirrel – Alvina – in Kitsilano, and fed her until she headed off, presumably to start her own family🙏

OK…that’s it for George’s treacly reflections on the pleasantries of life, all of which are moments plucked from the past 6 or 7 months. As I do this “Good, Bad & Ugly” overview, I’m struck by the much larger occurrence of things considered “Good” (for which I am grateful) vs “The Bad & The Ugly” (which follows) – this is a blessing for sure, however, I realize that I’m not including bad & ugly things which are occurring globally and which can (and do) have an impact on all of our mental and emotional well-being. Or, the situational and emotional events which happen to friends and family – which are hard to express in photos – yet can still impact our well-being if we are at all compassionate or empathetic. Anyways! Bring on the Bad & Ugly!

The Bad!

I realize that most of “The Bad” during this period was situational, subjective and transitory – and I feel lucky that it wasn’t “Badder”😊 – but it seems that a lot of the good is too, and that bad has the ability to arrive like and unwanted guest…and never leave: Petting a dog vs. terminal health diagnosis🤔…: A faithful kettle breaking at an inopportune moment; discovering a mysterious wound gushing blood while waiting for the Expo Line; the reliable Safari Van needing a tow off-island for expensive repairs; disruptive trail construction in front of Shavasana; Covid & self-isolation; unexpected high blood-pressure results; floor damage after frozen/burst pipes at Shavasana; urban blight in Kitsilano, as a nearby landlord evicts a tenant and the bailiff chucks his possessions onto the street; new trail signage, making access to my business a bit more awkward; and 2 large pallets of Spam at Costco…which allows me to stop and ponder for a moment that, no matter how bad my bads are, they can always be worse🤣

The Sad😢

Rena Chase, Lemar, Joseph Synn Kune Loh – very sad to see them all leave us this year, I will remember each of them for the particular joy they brought into my life, and the lives of others❤️❤️❤️

The Ugly:

Ugly, is bad baked in with stress, slathered with anxiety and sprinkled with longer-term negative significance. My neighbours Billie, Justine and Pat rent full time accommodation on this lovely 10-acre waterfront parcel in Miner’s Bay, Mayne Island, and this is where I’ve had my little biz – Shavasana Gallery & Café – for the past 11 years. It’s become a long labyrinthian story so I’m going to try and make it short. There are 4 owners of this property – 2 couples – who are not on good terms. One couple are supportive of we tenants and have no interest (currently) in selling. The other couple wish to sell their “Half/Undivided Interest” for $4 million…about 4 times the assessed value. In so doing, they have applied pressure on all parties involved (tenants and other owners). We are trying to remain optimistic and to fight the good fight but the wolves are at the door.🙏

Wait! there’s more!

The Weird, The Surprising & The Funny:

The weird:We (Mayne Island & Shavasana Gallery)had a visit this summer by a mystical wanderer, named Joseph, who travelled around in a beat-up grey car festooned with graffiti, assorted fabrics, branches & “found items”. He arrived at my place bearded & barefoot like a latter day Sadhu, and spoke in an almost imperceptible whisper (until I saw him chatting freely on his iPad Mini). I was OK with his presence, but others were not as welcoming and there was a sense that he was encouraged to “move on”…the final sightings of Joseph were at the Ferry Terminus (with someones’ boat on his roof) and then in Downtown Vancouver on Davie Street (pictured); The Surprising: recently a friend came into Shavasana and asked me if I knew that a fairly well-known island artist – Ian McLeod – had painted my image on a painting accompanied by 5 other Mayne Islanders – I hadn’t, so was surprised and delighted to see my stylized cartoonish red-head appear mid-right on the painting with Mike Nadeau, Al Sharma, Rudy Dearden & two other mystery islanders; The Funny: Despite everything & everybody, my sense of humour is intact, and for this I’m extremely grateful (not everybody is) I saw these two headlines recently – almost side by side – on my Guardian news App: “Earth’s Vital Signs show Humanity’s Future in Balance, say Climate Experts” (with possibility of Societal Collapse) next to, “No Matter How Hard he Tries, my Boyfriend Can’t Find my G-Spot”…please help me…I can’t decide which one to worry about more – but I do hope the boyfriend finds her G-Spot before societal collapse…that would be tragic🤣

Stay well, appreciate the good, tolerate the bad, and may your ugly be few and far between🙏

George

“The Rambling Truths” (aka Gail Noonan, Jim Heshedahl and I) performing “Brown-Eyed Girl” at Al Barber’s memorial last year

We are joined by Barry on saxophone, and a fellow on drums (whose name I have forgotten). Despite playing this song for over 40 years – I still need a song sheet in front of me 😆

I love playing with Jim and Gail, and it was a true delight having Barry & the drummer join us for this tune. Despite the sad nature of the event, it was an evening of fabulous music (in honour of Al who was a stellar guitarist), and we even drew some people onto the dance floor. Got 5 minutes – have a listen.👂

Book Reading at Shavasana Gallery & Café – May 24, 2:00 – 3:30

I’m going to be reading from my new book “All Roads at Any Time” this Friday May 24 from 2pm until about 3:30pm, at Shavasana Gallery & Café on Mayne Island.

I’m planning on reading one story from my book**, then taking a short break to give everyone a chance to grab a coffee or tea while I field any questions that may arise.

Following this, I’d like to read a new short story that I wrote recently called, “The Panic Attack” which will – hopefully – make it’s way into Volume 2 – the follow-up book of story stories that I am currently working on. After this we’ll stop for a little Q & A session.

As a self-published author I can also field any questions that the audience may have about the self-publishing process and what to expect after that…writing and publishing are – as I am discovering – the first 2 steps in a rather long and circuitous journey (but…it’s worth it! 😅)

**a little follow up addendum to this announcement. Both readings were recorded by Mayne Island TV, here’s the first reading:

Hope you can make it!

Cheers!

George Bathgate

Author (one hat among many)

The Sinister Samaritan

In all likelihood, becoming impatient for the arrival of my two hitchhiking companions, in Brandon Manitoba, so we could all continue our cross-Canada trip together, and deciding instead to strike out on my own, was not the wisest move. Lengthy road travel is inherently dangerous and – I wouldn’t hesitate to say – markedly more so for the solo hitchhiker. Hippies, hair, hostels and hitchhikers populated the landscape in the late 60’s and early 70’s, and it was not uncommon to find long lines of 20 – 30 youths stretching out down the highways and byways, outside cities and towns all over the US and Canada, looking for a lift. Competition for rides was often fierce, and the longer you were on the road, the more strategic & creative you became. For drivers it was a smorgasbord of choice, but hitchhikers did not share this luxury. On the road, the driver chooses you, and now, because I became tired of waiting around, I was hitchhiking solo.

My two high-school friends from Victoria – Mark & Shawn – and I, had already been on the road for 4 weeks, and learned early-on that hitchhiking in threes was not as easy as twos, and definitely not as easy as solo thumbing. For this reason, we all took turns travelling in groups of two – or alone. As three 17-year-olds, who were on their first major excursion away from parental guidance or the structure of school, there was much to learn, and the road had much to teach. As a consciousness-expanding experience, my 55 days on the road delivered in spades – from the sublime, to the profound, to the cautionary.

After three days of waiting for Shawn in Regina, Mark and I were becoming worried. The hostel was good, food was plentiful, and we passed our days hanging out in the park, panhandling, and listening to other hippie kids jamming. But it was unusual that Shawn had not shown up to join us after we left him in Calgary – for what should only be a one, or max two-day trip, especially as a solo traveller. “Maybe he got stoned and is lying in a wheat field looking at clouds,” said Mark. “Ha Ha! maybe,” I replied, “at least we know that with his bristly red hair and pudgy body he hasn’t met a girl!” Mark and I both laughed, but it was a nervous laugh, as both of us were still virgins, hoping – vainly – that this might be one of the lessons we’d learn on this road trip.

We decided to treat ourselves to an inexpensive Chinese buffet, but that turned out to be a mistake, as the food didn’t agree with Mark’s stomach, and by the time we returned to the Hostel he beelined for the toilet with a nasty bout of diarrhea. This hostel had a lounge with a TV, so I grabbed a few cookies and a coffee from the kitchen and went in to watch Kwai Chang Caine in Kung Fu – to continue the Chinese theme of the evening – only to discover Shawn, sitting on the couch, eating cookies and watching The Price is Right.

“Shawn! When did you get here man, Mark and I have been worried about you. Let’s change the channel, Kung Fu is on.” “Yeah, I just got in about an hour ago…no, no! Don’t change the channel, I like this show.” I frowned disapprovingly. “What kind of guy prefers The Price is Right, over Kung Fu?”, I thought to myself. “What happened to you? What took you so long to get here? We’ve been waiting for three days.” “I went to Edmonton to see a cousin,” he replied. “What?? We all agreed to hitch to Regina and meet here at the hostel,” I fumed.

Just then Mark walked in, looking a little pale and sweaty. “Shawn!” he said, “Jesus dude, good to see you, we thought you might be dead.” “Shawn decided to take a little side-trip to Edmonton, to see his cousin,” I said, still quite pissed off. “What? You ass, we’ve been hanging here for three days in Regina, waiting for you…you were hitching solo, you could’ve been here in a day.”

Realizing that his friends were angry with him, Shawn held out a peace offering. “My cousin sells pot and gave me a couple of doobies, do you want to go and get high?” “Hmmm,” I said, “as long as it’s not shit…and we can change the channel to Kung Fu when we come back.” “Ha Ha!” laughed Shawn, “it’s pretty good home-grown, and I won’t care what we’re watching when we get back…I’ll be baked.” Mark, the affable, easy-going member of our little group chimed in, “Sounds good, let’s do it!” We exited the hostel into the warm, dry prairie night, wandered over to the park, grabbed a bench and lit up. The rest is mystery.

The Regina hostel, which was situated at the University, offered one of the best breakfasts we’d had, anywhere on our month-long journey. We rose early the next morning to load up on 2 sausages, 2 eggs, 4 pieces of toast & jam, choice of drink, and a bottomless cup of coffee –before we headed out on the next leg of our hejira. The youth hostel in Brandon, Manitoba was our next destination, and for this leg of the trip, it was decided that Mark & Shawn would travel together, and I would go solo.

( “cooking for the group”, photo courtesy of Dianne Wells, from “SHUSWAP INTENTIONAL COMMUNITIES IN THE 1970S”)

Brandon should’ve been a fairly easy, day’s hitchhike. It was only 220 miles away (360 km – Canada doesn’t go metric for 3 more years – April 1, 1975 – Happy April Fool’s Day Canada) and, factoring in a certain amount of time for roadside lounging and creative thumbing, we expected to get there in the early afternoon – about 4 or 5 hours. The boys and I walked from the hostel to the Trans-Canada, I gave them the ‘pole position’ and wandered further down the road to take up my solo spot. Here’s an excerpt from the journal I kept of my trip:

Aug.3 “it was the last I saw of them…”

Travelling with a companion is wonderful – the camaraderie, shared experience…the added safety. But solo travel has a completely different, subtle, set of life-lesson benefits…and dangers. As a solo traveller, you aren’t friend-focussed, and get to absorb each of your experiences more fully and completely. You live in the now, and can give all your attention to your surroundings – natural and man-made – without the distraction and barely evolved thoughts of your 17-year-old friend. Travel is faster, decisions are easier, drivers are more generous and open – sometimes perilously so…and there’s no one to complain about your harmonica playing when you are stuck at the side of the road for hours at a time.

It was 1972 and not all parts of the country were as friendly and accepting of the hippie hitchhiker way of life. The prairies have always been a bit conservative, and, as it turned out, Regina was, on this day, just such a place. I waited by the side of the road, first standing with my thumb out, then sitting with my thumb out, then lying on the gravel with my head on my backpack lazily offering my thumb to the indifferent cars passing by. It was August on the prairies, and it was hot, and there was no shade, and sunscreen was barely in the public consciousness, and certainly not in mine – but luckily, I had an orange, which I’d taken from the hostel that morning.

“Man, this is brutal,” I thought, as I peeled my orange, “this has to be the worst place I’ve ever tried to catch a lift.” I had a watch, so I knew I’d been there seven hours already and was starting to get hungry and thirsty. I knew also – from experience – that hitching from a gas station improved ones’ chances of getting a lift, and that food and water would be available. I also knew – from experience – that most prairie towns had gas stations, somewhere along the highway, entering and exiting town…usually within a couple of miles. There was no Google Maps, all I could see ahead of me down the highway was prairie and a few distant farm structures, but I had confidence in my experience and assessment. I would walk.

Walking felt good, it felt affirmative. Small fluffy white clouds floated overhead, as I walked past fields of wheat and hay, and scattered herds of cows, or cattle, heads down, munching away. I continued hitchhiking as I walked, my back to the sparse traffic passing by, with my left thumb out in a kind of “I don’t really give a shit anymore” kind of way.

Sublimity without Sublimitations

After half an hour, or so, of wandering east along the shoulder of the Trans-Canada, I spied in the distance, what looked like a familiar oval Esso sign perched on its tall white pedestal. “Perfect,” I thought, “a popsicle and a bag of chips would go down nicely about now.”

I strolled into the gas station, bought my popsicle & chips, removed my backpack from my sweaty back, and sat outside in the shade, leaning against the coolness of the concrete wall near the front door of the station. Bliss. It was the days of the full-service station. Cars and trucks pulled in, lanky attendants ran out to fill tanks, squeegee windows, and ask to “check your oil sir?”, before drivers wandered in to pay their bills at the cash register, in this mostly cash-oriented world we still inhabited.

As I sat there, enjoying this cool, shady pause, a middle-aged man driving a 60’s four-door Chevy Nova, pulled into the station, gassed up, and was heading in to pay his bill when he noticed me reclining against the wall with my backpack. “You hitchhiking?” he asked. “Yeah,” I replied, I’m trying to get to Brandon.” “We’re heading east,” he said, “gotta stop at Qu’Appelle for a bit, but we could get you as far as Moosomin.” I didn’t know where Moosomin or Qu’Appelle were but anything going east was getting me closer to my destination. “Sure, great, thanks!” I said, “Grab your stuff and hop into the back seat,’ he said, “my son Charlie is up front.”

I exchanged hellos with Charlie – who appeared to be in his early 20’s – and soon, driver Dave & Charlie and I were on the road, heading east. With all the windows rolled down, we exchanged pleasantries, and shared info about ourselves as the prairies rolled by. Charlie, as it turned out was indigenous, and Dave & his wife had adopted him as an infant, when Charlie’s parents died in a car crash. Charlie was a member of the Nakoda First Nation, from the nearby Assiniboine 76 Reserve. Dave & Ingrid raised him on their hobby farm near the town of Moosomin, and were now dropping in to pay a visit to their friend Peter who lived in the small town of Qu’Appelle, knew Charlie’s family, and was a direct descendent of Chief Sitting Bull.

Qu’Appelle was a relaxing 45-minute drive down Highway 1, about halfway between Balgonie and Indian Head. For a time, when the CPR arrived in 1884, it was known as Qu’Appelle Station to differentiate it from Fort Qu’Appelle – another small prairie town just 20 miles north, in the Qu’Appelle River Valley. A surfeit of Qu’Appelles…the name of which is a corrupted version of the French, “Qui Appelle?”, or “Who Calls” which refers to a stanza from the Pauline Johnson poem, “Legend of the Qu’Appelle Valley”:

I am the one who loved her as my life,

Had watched her grow to sweet young womanhood;
Won the dear privilege to call her wife,
And found the world, because of her, was good.
I am the one who heard the spirit voice,
Of which the paleface settlers love to tell;
From whose strange story they have made their choice

Of naming this fair valley the ‘Qu’Appelle…

Like most small prairie towns, Qu’Appelle was full of single-story ranchers laid out on a gridwork of broad gravel streets, fringed with well-kept grass lawns, shaded with cottonwood and poplar trees. We pulled into Peter’s driveway and found him sitting comfortably on a lawn-chair in the shade of some cottonwoods. Several other chairs were laid out in anticipation of our arrival, as well as a white plastic table, topped with some plates, a large green watermelon, and a carving knife.

Peter appeared to be a man in his 70’s, clean shaven, with long white hair pulled back in a ponytail, and, as he rose to greet us, he said, “Charlie, why don’t you go and grab another chair for your friend, there’s some in the garage.” Soon, we were all sitting on the folding aluminum lawn-chairs, under the cooling shade of the cottonwoods, slurping on large triangles of watermelon, and spitting seeds onto the grass. My role was mostly one of listener, as these three friends caught up on the people, places and things which kept their lives entwined, while families of swallows and starlings, chirped and chatted from the trees overhead.

Peter’s slightly overfed golden Lab, “Willie”, lay sleeping on the grass to his left, while the faint hint of Jackson Browne’s, “Doctor my Eyes”, drifted out the kitchen window from the radio. I happily accepted another piece of watermelon and just closed my eyes for a moment, taking in this gentle sublime experience. “Gotta be grateful,” I thought, “a little over an hour ago, I was stuck on the side of the road baking in the sun.” Bliss.

Our visit wasn’t terribly long, as Dave & Charlie had to get back to their hobby farm near Moosomin to do chores. Hugs and gratitude were exchanged with Peter, Willie got up to join in the affection and seek out ear rubs & treats. We said our goodbyes, and “Nice ta meetya’s,” hopped into the Nova and, waving, drove off.

Moosomin was only another hour or so down the freeway, taking us through the hamlets and villages of Indian Head, Dingley, Sintaluta, Wolsley, Grenfell, Wapella & Red Jacket…and some of these “names on the map” were little more than that – settler communities that had long since been abandoned, leaving nothing but a few dilapidated wooden buildings and neglected cemeteries.

Before heading south on Route #8, at the Moosomin turnoff – which would take Dave & Charlie to their farm – they offered to buy me a burger and fries at the roadside café attached to the Shell station. Now, having an illustrious relative such as Chief Sitting Bull, is one of those seductively impressive things, but, as a young, financially challenged, and hungry traveller, an offer of free food, on the road, left me genuinely delighted, and grateful.

After sharing a bite of food, I thanked them profusely, and we said our goodbyes. They headed off, in a cloud of dust, as I found myself a good hitchhiking position at the exit from the station. At least, I hoped it was good. There was no line-up, but the sun was starting to get low on the horizon, and I still had about an hour-and-a-half drive to get to Brandon. Eventually, a trucker stopped on his way out of the station, rolled down his window and said, “I’m goin’ to Winnipeg, where ya goin’? “Brandon,” I replied, “trying to get to the Youth Hostel before closing.” “OK, yeah, I can get you there – hop in.” And we were off.

I arrived late at the hostel, and likely only got in because the two hippies who were running it were staying up playing “Go”. It had been a long day, and Mark & Shawn had not shown up – which wasn’t surprising given how shitty the hitchhiking out of Regina was. As an avid chess-player I stayed up awhile trying to understand “Go”, before crashing-out on one of the lower bunks in a 6-person room.

There was no compelling reason to go to Brandon, except as a place to reconnect with my travelling companions. As a young traveller, eager to get all the way across Canada and set foot on Prince Edward Island, hanging out in any small prairie town – for any extended period – was tedium. From my journal:

Aug 4. Ate breakfast, went downtown, sat outside City Hall, met some people, got lost, finally made it back to the hostel for soup, tried to watch Straw Dogs at the Drive-In, too many mosquitos.

Aug 5. Had a bath, some chick gave me a belt. Went back downtown.  Re-read Dirty Harry, nothing much happened. Met a neat Japanese guy named Takashi Sato*, talked a while.

Aug 6 – nothing much happened – I went to the cop shop to get info.

(*Takashi carried the game of “Go” in his backpack, and – quite patiently – gave me my first lesson)

Almost four days of waiting and no sign of Shawn & Mark. The trip to the “cop shop” was my attempt at seeing if there’d been any nasty accidents or incidents involving my pals. When nothing turned up, my worry turned to suspicion that perhaps Shawn was pulling the same stunt he did when he left Mark & I in Regina for 3 days. There were no cell phones, or convenient ways to keep in touch. My impatience was starting to max out – I decided to hit the road on my own the next day.

No, this isn’t me, I’ve selected a group of representative photos from the internet as – surprise surprise! – I didn’t have a camera. (Photo by Dick Darrell, 1973 Toronto Public Library)

My 17-year-old self, had little or no fear. Was this self-confidence, or naivete? Perhaps it was the result of growing up in a safe, loving environment, or maybe my earlier hitchhiking experiences at 15 and 16 made me believe I was “seasoned”, or perhaps it was typical of the majority of young teenage males, everywhere. In any event, when entering into the wider world of unknown risks – strangers, places, situations…and lengthy road trips – having at least a modicum of cautionary consciousness can be lifesaving.

After eating as much breakfast as the hostel workers were willing to dish out, I gathered up my backpack and walked the mile or two to the freeway exit heading east. Surprisingly, as bad as it was leaving Regina, my first ride out of Brandon turned out to be the longest, sweetest, and most benign of my entire trip.

The quintessential flagship of the hippie armada was the 60’s Volkswagen Van, adorned with a few painted flowers, peace signs, and Anti-Vietnam War stickers. Bill and Carol – a 20-something couple from Milwaukee – pulled up in just such a van, rolled down the window and asked, “Hey, where ya goin’?” “Trying to get to the Maritimes,” I replied, “Prince Edward Island.” “Well, we’re not going that far, but we can get you to Sault Ste. Marie.”

(Photo by Anne Betts from: “Travel in the 1970s: What’s better? Then or now?”)

I wasn’t exactly sure how far the “the Soo” was, but I knew that I’d just struck hitchhiker gold – I was going to be with these people for a few days, and cover a lot of ground. I hoped they were… nice.

I climbed in and exchanged introductions. Bill and Carol had been on a road trip across Canada for the last several months, and were now heading back to Milwaukee before continuing on to Miami Beach, Florida, for an anti-war protest at the 1972 Republican National Convention later in August. Ron Kovic*, a paralyzed Vietnam war vet, was going to be leading the protest, and Bill and Carol wanted to lend their voice to his “Stop the Bombing, Stop the War!” chant.  Bill wasn’t a draft dodger but had managed to escape call-up due to a previous injury which left him with a slight limp, and Carol was his college grad, hippie girlfriend.

(*Ron would go on to write his memoir, “Born on the Fourth of July”, in 1976)

“How far is Sault Ste. Marie?” I asked. “It’s about 1000 miles,” said Bill, “the roads are pretty windy…lots of lakes and trees…and our van only goes about 50 miles per hour, so we figure it’s about a 3-day trip – including food stops & gas.” “Great,” I replied, “thanks a lot for picking me up, this’ll save me from a lot of hitching – I had to wait almost 7 hours just to get outta Regina, and I’ve heard horror stories about people getting trapped trying to leave small towns in Northern Ontario…especially Wawa, it’s supposed to be the worst place to get stuck in Canada.” “Yeah, replied Carol, “we’ve heard about Wawa, it’s got a really bad rep…there are stories & legends…don’t worry, if you stick with the Bill and Carol caravan, we’ll get you well past Wawa before we head south at the Soo.”

If you think that driving through the prairies is boring, because of the long straight highways and endless miles of grain silo silhouetted horizon, it has nothing on the mind-numbing similitude of the roads through Northern Ontario’s boreal forest. Repetitive variations of lakes, rocks, rivers, and coniferous forest, pass you by, like natures treadmill, as you worm your way through the largest forest in Canada. Villages and towns are infrequent und unsatisfying. Road signs remind you that you really aren’t making any progress at all, and have another 500 hellish miles to go, to get to Thunder Bay.

Despite the monotony of the vistas, Bill & Carol were cool people to travel with, and we spent our days sharing stories and observations from our travels. Rather than sleep in their van they chose – most nights – to stay at Youth Hostels, which were inexpensive and included breakfast. There was always some kind of social activity, so we hung out together, listened to jam sessions, played games, or watched TV. Hostels were great places to “get the buzz” about hitchhiking conditions, places to avoid, or places to find the cool scenes that were happening in the cities and towns across Canada at that time. Eventually, after another 8-hour day on the road, we arrived at the hostel in Thunder Bay.

Because so many hostels were run by American draft dodgers, or conscientious objectors, Bill & Carol’s planned journey to the protest march in Florida was of special interest. “I went to as many protests as I could in the late 60’s,” said Frank – a long-haired, bearded Hostel worker – “before I got called up and had to split…I was even at the Democratic National Convention protest in Chicago in ’68…that was crazy.” “We’ve been to quite a few too,” said Carol, “last year’s rally at the National Mall in Washington was the biggest…so cool to have all that anti-war energy coming together.” Wanting to show these older, cool hippies, that I fit in and had a political consciousness too, I said, “I went to an anti-war protest last year in Victoria…well, it was actually a protest against the underground nuclear testing in Amchitka, Alaska, but we all chanted, “Stop Amchitka! Stop the War!” My pronouncement was met with mild disinterest, and a few “Oh,cool’s,” Hardly anyone knew where Victoria was or what Amchitka was about, but Carol chimed in, “That was put on by Greenpeace, wasn’t it?” This seemed to resonate with all the hippies in earshot. “Greenpeace, they’re great, “said one, “Yeah…direct action, that’s what we need,” said another, “Didn’t they go up there to protest by boat?” said Frank, “man, that shows a lot of initiative.” “Maybe we should get boats and sail to Saigon to protest this fucking war, “said another, frizzy red -haired hippie, which drew a few laughs.

(Photo by Jeff Debooy, At the Winnipeg Youth Hostel, 1974. University of Manitoba Archives)

Just then Takashi Saito walked in, saw me, and said “Is it time for your next Go lesson?” “Ha Ha! Takashi! sure,” I replied, “let me just grab a coffee and a couple of cookies and we can set up on that table over there.” I left the Americans to their political discussions, although a few, who’d heard about Go and were curious, joined Takashi and I to watch this ancient Chinese game, which was just becoming popular in North America.

We got up early for the anticipated 11 or 12-hour drive to Sault Ste. Marie. I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but I was travelling in the slowest vehicle on the Trans Canada Hwy. Perhaps some of the villages between Thunder Bay and the Soo would be interesting – Loon, Pearl, Bowker, Ouimet, Cavers, Pays Plat, Ripple, Batchawana – unfortunately very few of them are on the Trans-Can, and require time-consuming side-trips to find out…so, in no particular order: Lakes, Rocks, Rivers and Trees, rinse and repeat.

There are a few larger towns – Nipigon, Schreiber, White River, and of course, Wawa – which give a brief visual relief from the ol’ green, grey, and blue, and a welcome place to stop, see human beings, gas up, pee and eat. Day three of my trip with Bill and Carol took longer than we anticipated, and a decision was made to camp at the Batchawana Bay Provincial Park, just north of the Soo…from my journal:

Aug 9 – Just north of Sault St. Marie… ate supper – sauerkraut, wieners…stole beer from an abandoned car*, slept outside that night (soaking wet, dew)

Aug 10 – Dropped off in Sault St Marie, sorry to see Mike and Carol leave, you kind of get attached to them after a few days. Got a ride with some old people to Sudbury, which is an awful place. Largest smokestack in the world, everything is dead for miles, got a short ride out of town, and, by now I was starving. The next ride was short, but the guy gave me supper, so it was OK. Another ride to North Bay. Bus takes you to the hostel met a guy I’d met before.

(*Upon re-reading my journal, I’ve noticed the occasional reference to petty theft. It seems to be singularly opportunistic stuff – garden raiding, taking coins from fountains, or “from an abandoned car” and the like. This, combined with occasional panhandling, and gratefully accepting free meals, was my way of keeping the wolves from the door, and seemed quite typical of other young hippie travellers I met.

As you leave North Bay, enroute to Ottawa, the trees, lakes, and rocks slowly give way to the farms, towns, and villages, of Southern Ontario. You enter the most densely populated area of Canada, where traffic increases substantially, as does the variety of vehicles, drivers…and their chosen speeds. Getting rides becomes easier but the distances become shorter – Petawawa to Pembroke, Pembroke to Cobden, Cobden to Renfrew, in short, half-hour hops and stops.

“Be Careful What You Wish For”

It was a hot day, a beautiful day – blue skies with light fluffy clouds, and a gentle easterly breeze to remove the worst of the day’s heat, and I was stuck, at the intersection of Hwy 60 and the Trans Canada just outside of Renfrew. It was mid-afternoon, and I knew that my destination for the night – Ottawa – was a tantalizingly short 60 miles away – about an hour’s drive – but the rides seemed to have dried up. Luckily, I had a chocolate bar in my pack for a snack. “What is it about people from Renfrew?” I thought, “haven’t they ever seen a hitchhiker before?”

Cars, trucks, semis, vans, and motorbikes whizzed by with seeming indifference. Some drivers nodded, a few children waved, while others indicated – with their thumb and forefinger – that they were only going a short distance. As I stood there, at the side of the road eating my Milky Way, a red 4-seater Mustang convertible, driven by a guy in his late 20’s – wearing sunglasses and looking very cool and self-satisfied – with one hand on the wheel and the other, casually resting on the recessed window ledge, cruised by. It was one of those dream cars that – on a hot sunny day like today – generated a strong vision & desire to catch a lift and arrive in Ottawa in style – looking hip and windswept.

Trying to catch his attention, among the 2 or 3 other hitchhikers in line, I smiled and waved, I danced a little jig, and I even put my hands together in prayer-fashion with my thumb out…all to no avail. He smiled and waved at all of us and drove, casually and confidently past. “Damn,” I thought, “that looked like such a sweet ride, how cool to show up in Ottawa, driving past the Parliament buildings in a convertible enroute to the Hostel.” I continued to watch his red dream-car glide down the highway until it became a speck, turned a corner, and was gone. Sigh.

My luck finally changed, however, and before long, I was at the front of the line as the other hitchhikers received rides.  Then, a farmer pulled up, with a truckload of baled-hay, and offered me a lift…it wasn’t a red convertible, but beggars can’t be choosers, and he was heading in the right direction. Stan was on his way to his farm outside of Arnprior – about a 20-minute drive down the pike – so I gladly hopped into his truck.

I left the passenger window open so I could feel the cool breeze against my skin on this rather humid, late-afternoon in mid-August.  About halfway to Arnprior we rounded a bend near the Calabogie Road turnoff to Glasgow Station, and could hear the faint sounds of sirens, and see the flashing lights of emergency vehicles heading towards us in the distance – in the westbound lane of Hwy 417 – likely coming from Arnprior. Just ahead of us, on the eastbound shoulder, a few cars had pulled over, and, as we approached, I could see people climbing down the embankment towards a car which appeared to have skidded off the road, flipped a few times, and now rested – upside down – with steam and smoke coming out of the engine compartment, and the motionless body of a young man trapped underneath. It was the red mustang.

Stan slowed down and pulled over to see if we could help, just as the Ambulance crossed the meridian – momentarily stopping all traffic – joining those of us parked on the eastbound shoulder. As we climbed out of Stan’s truck, a police car and a Fire Truck arrived – ostensibly to help with the physical logistics of the accident – while the emergency medics were valiantly hauling out a stretcher and bags of medical equipment to attend to the injured driver. But it was fairly evident – judging by the position of the car on top of the driver – that their efforts would be futile. The windshield had been sheared off, leaving the convertible flat, and it had come to rest – upside down – on the driver’s head as his body lay on his back, face up, on the ground.

“Jesus, that’s pretty nasty,” said Stan, “I don’t think there’s much we can do here, it looks like the emergency crews have it covered.” “Yeah,” I concurred, “poor dude, I watched him drive by before you picked me up…I dreamed of getting a lift into Ottawa in that convertible” “Well,” said Stan, “it just goes to show ya, ‘be careful what you wish for’,” “Yeah, no kidding,” I replied, reflectively, as I climbed back into the truck.

Stan turned the engine over, put on his blinkers, and crept out slowly, into the seemingly random chaos of life and the open road.

Even in my pre-budgetary, maximum earning capacity existence, I knew that I had to be conscious of my finances if I wanted to make it all the way to P.E.I. and back to Victoria in one piece. I’d left home 35 days earlier, with $120 cash and a small amount of hashish to sell on the road, and I wasn’t even halfway through my trip – with only $55 left. You do the math. Although the wolves were not at the door, I could hear them howling.

I’d already rejected the idea of picking tobacco on one of the many tobacco farms in southern Ontario, to make a bit of cash, as I’d heard it was hellish. “Hmm,” I thought to myself, “unless a good work opportunity presents itself, I can probably make it with a bit of panhandling, and looking pathetic & hungry for the occasional meal hand-out.” There it was – the young hippie business model.

Not lingering in any one place and making miles was the other half of the equation.

Unless faced with a compelling reason to stay in one city or town or situation, I’d keep my thumb to the wind and keep moving.

My stay at the nation’s capital was – consequently – fairly brief: the obligatory tour of the parliament buildings; the as-to-be-expected overindulgence at the hostel’s breakfast table; and the unexpected windfall discovery of an unattended coin fountain, which I liberated of excess coins*. I was palling around with a young fellow-traveller at the hostel named Allan who was heading to his home in Arvida, Quebec. As we were both travelling – roughly – in the same direction we decided to hitchhike to Montreal together. (*When I found myself working in Ottawa 10 years later for the Feds, I went back to that fountain and replaced every coin I took…honest)

Safety in Numbers

The distance from Ottawa to Montreal is not far. Traffic is heavy, rides are plentiful and within short order we’d landed a lift with a young Québécois guy named Olivier driving a light blue late-60’s Impala. I hopped in the front passenger seat and Allan slid into the back. The Impala was running a bit rough and coughed up a cloud of smoke every time Olivier stepped on the gas – which was quite frequent – as we sped east on Hwy 40, known locally as the A. Félix-Leclerc.

Olivier seemed friendly enough, and it didn’t take long before – in his heavily accented English – he took his eyes off the road, and leaned over, to ask me salacious questions about my sexual experiences with women. “So, Georges,” he began, “I bet a good-looking young guy like you ‘as ‘ad a lot of sex with the pretty girls…eh? I bet you like it, eh?” he continued, throwing it out to Allan as well, “And you too, eh?” addressing him through the rear-view mirror. Now, as a virginal 17-year-old male, I wasn’t about to broadcast my lack of experience with women, so I nodded knowingly, smiled, and agreed with all of his crass questions…as did Allan.

The uncomfortable & suggestive line of questioning continued, when suddenly we all heard a distinct flapping noise coming from the front left tire as we sped along. Olivier chose to pull over on the side of the road on the Ile aux Tortes Bridge to have a look. Even as a non-driver this seemed dangerous and crazy, as cars & semi-trailers barreled by within a foot or two of our position. It turned out to be rubber hanging off the tire, which Olivier decided to cut off with a Swiss army knife that he had in his glove box. Having recently witnessed a horrific car accident I was not – shall we say – comforted by his actions. “Do we need to hit a gas station to get a new tire?” I asked. “No, no,” he replied, “still a lot of tread on dis one…c’mon let’s go.”

Perhaps Allan was a little more savvy – or frightened – than myself, and could see what was coming. As we entered the city, he asked to be dropped off at the nearest Metro station, ostensibly to go visit friends in Laval, whereas I was trying to get to the Loyola Hostel. I was sorry to see Allan leave – safety in numbers, as they say – but was feeling a little less nervous about dying in a horrible car accident on the freeway with a blown- out tire, as we entered the much slower traffic of the city.

Enroute to the hostel, as I stared out the window, absorbing my first views of Canada’s largest city, Olivier took a break in his one-sided sexual inquisition, leaned in close and said, “Hey Georges, you don’t got to stay at no hostel man, I got friends with a place near here, you could stay there…for free.” Now, despite Olivier’s creepy obsession with my non-existent sexual life, the offer of a free place to stay overrode my apprehensions, and growing urge to ‘get out at the next Metro Station’ like Allan. “Sure, great,” I said.

We took a hard right off the A20 near Dorval, where his “friends” lived. From my journal:

“…it was a house in the slums where he said I could stay. No one was there and it was a shambles – garbage, days-old dirty dishes, mattresses, and clothing strewn about. A real pig sty. So, we left, and he started to drive me to Loyola Hostel. he began asking a lot of very personal questions again, but I was distracted, looking out the window, not paying much attention when suddenly, he reached over and grabbed my crotch. I pulled away from him and he was smiling so I thought he was just joking, that I had “missed something”. Then he stopped the car and asked me if I wanted the 5-mile ride to the hostel, when I said, “yeah, sure” he replied, “you have to let me feel yours first or I won’t give you the ride”.

“Hmmm,” I thought, “walk 5 miles or let this creepy dude touch my penis? Well…5 miles is quite far.” No, no, dear reader, I did not even ponder that.

In a fit of rage, I ripped open the glove compartment and reached for the Swiss Army knife that I knew he kept there…no, no, no – this too did not happen, I wasn’t a violent young man. That would come later…much later.

I don’t remember exactly what I said – this being my first experience with an unwanted sexual advance, from a member of the same sex – and my journal doesn’t record such minutiae, but it was probably something like, “I’m outta here dude, I’ll walk!” I grabbed my pack opened the passenger door and stepped out onto Rue Sherbrooke, and started walking east, as Olivier and his smoky Impala sped off.

My resilience, and ability to quickly get over such indignities and potentially dangerous situations was reflected in my next journal entry:

…so, I walked the 5 miles. Not a bad hostel, all the toast you could eat.”

All the toast you could eat. Dodge a bullet, eat toast, carry on…

It was mid-August, and several dynamics were at play. I was running out of money, and time. I’d been on the road for almost 40 days, and, although my destination – Prince Edward Island – was but a few days travel away, I still had to make it all the way back to Victoria to begin my last year of High School in September – a few short weeks away…and I was down to $40 cash.

Being imbued with a completely unrealistic, 17-year-old sense of optimistic stupidity, and an almost Darwinian lack of self-preservation skills, I said to myself, “Yeah, I think I got this,” and headed out.

Given my limitations of time, distance, and finances, I knew that I had to keep a move on. With luck, I figured I could cover the 700 plus remaining miles to P.E.I. – and Cavendish Beach, where apparently “I had to go” – within three days of very steady hitchhiking…and luck – that much-wished for, yet often unattainable attribute. And then, turn it around for the 3,544-mile return trip to Victoria – within 10 very brisk days. Perhaps I would stop somewhere and allow myself to smell a flower, or fall in love, but if I got trapped in the hitchhiker hell of Wawa or Regina on the return…all bets were off.

The urban core of any major city is not friendly to the hitchhiker, so I extricated myself from Montreal via a series of buses and Subway trips until I was on the outer edge of Longeuil – a suburb of Montreal across the St. Lawrence River – heading east on the 116.

The trip to Quebec City turned out to be surprisingly brief – a series of short hops, between quaint historic towns, with amiable and benign drivers who luckily all spoke enough English to usher me right to my destination. Quebec City is a gem, and if I weren’t in such a hurry, I might’ve stayed longer, or, if the hostel weren’t such a dump, I might’ve put in an extra day to hang around with my new friends from Connecticut, who were pretty wicked guitar players. From my journal:

“Got a ride right to the hostel. Met two guys from Connecticut and swam in a 4-foot-deep kiddie pool in our clothes. The hostel was, quite likely, the worst I’d seen – an old, converted prison which looked like it hadn’t been cleaned up since the prisoners were released. Walked around that night through old Quebec and saw the sights, then back to the hostel for a jam session – I played some harp.”

As Jack and Sam – my two new American pals – were also heading to P.E.I., we decided to travel together. Together, however, is a relative term. As previously mentioned, getting a lift as a threesome was difficult, so we decided that – once we were over the St. Lawrence and back on the freeway – we’d split up and meet in Fredericton, New Brunswick.

We knew it was going to be a long day. Fredericton was 400 miles away, and what should be a six-hour trip, can easily double – or worse – depending on the vagaries of the road. So, we got up early, wolfed down a greasy breakfast and headed for the free ferry across the St. Lawrence to Levis. The ferry to Levis is one of those sublime visual treats where you get to savour – for a brief time – the unique architectural beauty of Quebec City, from the panorama of a river crossing.

We walked the 15 or 20 minutes to the freeway, wished each other good luck, and said a few, “See ya in Fredericton’s,” before splitting up and spreading out, into parties of one down the road. It would be many days before I saw Sam again, but Jack would re-appear several times – as so often happens in this random and unpredictable world of plans made before the advent of cell phones, and connectivity.

As last in line, I was the last to get a ride, but it took me right into Rivière-du-Loup before lunch – which was almost one third of my expected journey. I’d been on the road long enough to know not to get my expectations too high, and that past performance was no guaranteed of future progress. As I was dropped off at the junction of the A20 and the A85, just outside of Rivière-du-Loup, I could see a line of dozens of hitchhikers stretching far, far down the road in the direction I had to go. “Shit,” I thought, “so much for my early lead…oh well, lovely day for a walk.” Which I did. There’s really no choice, road etiquette demands that the newcomer go to the end of the line – like any human “line situation” – although sometimes fate can work in your favour.

(“Hitchhikers on the Trans-Canadian Highway.” Source: University of Manitoba Archives & Special Collections, Winnipeg Tribune Fonds, 1972. )

I was about halfway down the mile-long line, walking with my back to traffic and my left thumb out (this was ok…everybody did it) when a hot, blue, late-model Chevelle pulled up, and I heard Jack shout, “Hey George, hop in, this guy’s goin’ right to Moncton.”

Jack was hanging out the front passenger window, grinning, like a big puppy dog. I grabbed my pack, and slid into the back seat, waving and smiling at the nearby hitchhikers as they stared – grumpily – at my sudden good fortune. “Hi, I’m Steve,” said the driver, “Jack recognized you, so I thought I’d stop and give you a lift. I wish I could take more hitchhikers but we’re already kinda full…I’m going to Moncton, does that work for you?” Moncton was much further than I expected to get on this day, and I wasn’t about to turn down a good ride, “Sure thing,” I said, that’d be great.” He popped it into 1st and we roared off, leaving a cloud of dust behind.

It was 4 hours to Fredericton, where we were supposed to meet Sam, and another 2 to Moncton, so we had time to relax, sightsee and get to know Stephen, our driver. He lived in Moncton, and his father ran a Chevy dealership – which explained the nearly new Chevelle we were travelling in – and Jack talked about the year-off that he and his buddy Sam had taken to travel North & Central America before starting their studies at the University of Bridgeport, in their home state of Connecticut.  When Stephen found out there was a third to our little hitchhiking group he agreed to stop in Fredericton, at the Youth Hostel to see if Sam was there to join us, or if we wanted to be let off there to wait for him.

Eventually, Highway 85A – heading south from Rivierère-du-Loup – turns into Hwy #2 when you cross into New Brunswick, which is a continuation of the Trans-Canada #1. It’s a flat land of trees, muskeg, and farms which roughly follows the St. John River until we would part company several hours later at a bridge crossing near Burpees Corner outside of Oromocto. Passing towns and settlements with names like Saint Jacques, Madawaska, Irish Settlement, Maliseet and Kilmarnock remind you of the French/Acadian, Irish, and Scottish settlers who arrived in the 1600’s and 1700’s to reside among their Mi’gmaq, Wolastoqiyik and Peskotomuhkatiyik predecessors.

By the time we arrived in Fredericton it was mid-afternoon, and Sam was not waiting at the hostel to greet us. I’d already decided to carry on with Steve to Moncton – whether Sam was there in Fredericton waiting to join us, or not – but wasn’t sure what Jack’s plan was. “Hey guys, tell you what,” said Steve, “I haven’t eaten since breakfast and I’m starving, why don’t we take a break for some food…wait another half hour for your friend, and if he shows, great, if not I gotta carry on.” It was a reasonable suggestion, made better still by his offer to buy us a burger and fries from the Mom ‘n’ Pop Café next door to the hostel. “Sure man, thanks!” we both chimed in. It was nice just to get out of the car and stretch our legs after this 5-hour trip…and eat a free burger and fries.

By the time we wolfed down our food and went back to check for Sam at the hostel, I wasn’t surprised to discover that he hadn’t showed up. I announced my intention to carry on to Moncton with Steve, and Jack paused reflectively for a moment and said, “Yeah, I think I’ll join you, I wanna get to Prince Edward Island too, and Moncton’s damn close.” Jack was an easy-going, good guy to travel with, and I was happy about his decision, and glad for the company. “I’m going to leave Sam a message at the hostel though, so he knows what I’m doing,” continued Jack, “we’ve been on the road for a long time…I’ll probably catch up to him on the road, at some hostel or something in the next couple of days.” It sounded like a plan. Jack wrote something on a piece of paper and handed it to the rather stoned-looking, long-haired & bearded, draft-dodger dude running the hostel, and we were off.

Three more hours of lazily rolling past mixed deciduous and coniferous forests, farms, and quaint historic towns, and we arrived in Moncton. Steve quite kindly, drove us right to the hostel, we said our goodbyes and thanked him profusely for the lift. We arrived just in time for a bit of late dinner and hanging out with the other transients sharing stories from the road. According to my journal, the hostel was “nice”, and breakfast was “good” which is pretty much a five-star review from my 17-year-old self.

We got up early, ate breakfast and hit the road. Although we were close to reaching our destination – P.E.I – and could smell the ocean (which was only 20 minutes away from Moncton) we weren’t quite as lucky with the lifts, and did a lot of walking and accepting short hops between towns. All drivers kept their radios on, so, reception and tastes permitting, we were treated to an early 70’s soundtrack of “Alone Again (Naturally)” by Gilbert O’Sullivan, “Lean on Me” by Bill Withers, “I’m Still in Love With You” by Al Green, and dozens of other hits of that era.

Our journey skipped, hopped, walked and drove between a variety of small towns, and hamlets – Shediac (Canada’s Lobster Capital), Shemogue, Port Elgin, Tidnish, and Pugwash, in a variety of vehicles and situations –  a bread truck, a semi-trailer, a farm vehicle, and an Edsel, driven by a couple of “old fogeys, whom I sweet-talked into giving us a ride” according to my journal. Eventually landing a lift with a “French chick” outside of Tatamagouche who drove us all the way to the ferry terminus at Caribou.

We paid our 60-cent fare, boarded the ferry, and wrote post cards to our families, while enjoying the sights during the 75-minute trip across the Northumberland Strait. Both of us agreed that we were only going to spend one night on Prince Edward Island – set foot on the island, plant our flag, and announce “Mission Accomplished” to the media. Jack, like me, was running out of cash, and was slowly making his way back to Connecticut to begin College in 2 weeks.

Jack noticed a car with US plates, befriended the couple that was driving, and managed to get us a lift off the ferry to Charlottetown, the capital of P.E.I. By now, it was mid-afternoon and we still had to reach the hostel near Cavendish Beach, which, according to my journal required more walking, “Walked & walked… asked lady for water. Asked for ride to nowhere then walked some more.” Apparently, while we were walking through “nowhere” we did some garden raiding and stole a handful of Russet potatoes that we would later bake at the hostel and eat on the beach.

The hostel was camp style, which meant that we slept in tents. But it was a gorgeous spot within walking distance of the world-famous Cavendish Beach. We finally landed a lift from a “nice guy and his girlfriend” who took us right to our destination. After checking in and stowing our gear in one of the shared tents, we cooked up our spuds, added them to an already overflowing plate of hostel food, wandered down to the gorgeous white sandy beach, and ate dinner while staring out at a slowly rising, waxing, crescent moon.

“Well man, we did it,” said Jack, as he reached over to shake my hand. “Yeah, this was worth all the walking today, I’m glad we made the effort,” I said, “and how about these potatoes?” I added emphatically. “Mmm…damn good,” he replied, “especially with all that melted butter.” “Yeah, I think we might’ve cleaned them out of butter,” I said, “it’ll be dry toast for breakfast!” We both laughed. It had been a long day, an arduous day – with full bellies we made our way back to the tent hostel, with the sound of guitars, and someone belting out, “Brown-Eyed Girl” there to greet us.

We got up with the first rays of sunshine permeating our tent. An ominous mix of dark clouds – hinting of rain – shared the sky with white, but no less threatening, Cumulonimbus clouds and the lightning and thunder they sometimes carried. We ate breakfast quickly as we wanted to hit the road to begin our respective trips home. It was August 17th – it had taken me 42 days to reach P.E.I., and I knew that I was looking at – at least – 10 days to get back, with luck, determination, and stick-to-itiveness. Jack was facing a more leisurely 2 or 3 days to get back to Connecticut, and seemed more inclined to take his time on the way back – especially if he reconnected with his travelling companion Sam.

I was down to less than 130 pounds on a 6-foot frame, with shoulder length, straggly, strawberry blonde hair.  “Lanky” would be a kind descriptive epithet, “skinny” was probably more accurate. Because of my appearance people were starting to take pity on me and would walk up – unsolicited – and give me small amounts of money or food. Even Jack, before we hit the road that day gave me two tins’ of food that he was carrying. Maybe he was just lightening his load for the trip, or maybe he witnessed me exiting the shower that morning looking like a Kwashiorkor victim.

The Sinister Samaritan

It seemed like our luck had changed. We got a ride right to the ferry, we didn’t have to pay on the return trip, and some people we met on the boat offered to drive us right to Moncton. A fortuitous start to the trip home.

It was the golden era of hitchhiking. It was a time of peace, love, and liberation. You could still smell the incense and patchouli oil wafting in the breezes, from the “Summer of Love” a few scant years before. There were dangers – predators such as I’d experienced in Montreal, or accidents such as I’d witnessed – but this was still the early days of fighting for peace, justice, and the environment. These benign social efforts were “the movement”, this and a ubiquitous network of hostels made hippiedom & hitchhiking unavoidably appealing. We were everywhere…what could go wrong?

For some reason, Jack and I decided to split up, and hitchhike separately when we left Moncton. We were aiming for Fredericton, and the hostel there, as Jack wanted to see if Sam had shown up and received his message. Jack got the first ride, then I got a lift with an older couple that was heading west down a more rural route – highway 106 – which wasn’t the Trans Canada but was going in the right direction. The 106 was a slower route but quite beautiful, following the meandering Anagance River through rich farmland. They dropped me off at the intersection with Route 890, in Petitcodiac – a small farming town – and gave me sandwiches and $2, which I gratefully accepted. As I appeared to be in the middle of nowhere, I decided to eat a sandwich as I walked, keeping an eye on the foreboding clouds which now hovered overhead.

And then it began to rain. I continued walking, passing farms and long, non-descript driveways, while becoming increasingly wet. Ahead, through the downpour, I could see a large tent on a roadside property, that had “Jesus Saves” written on it, beside a small, white, rundown house. I ran under the tent to seek refuge from the rain…shivering while still nibbling on a sandwich. An older man came out of the house, walked over to the tent, and invited me inside to get warm and dry off. More grateful acceptance.

Inside the house, I met his blind wife, pregnant 16-year-old daughter, and their adopted black daughter, who also appeared to be about my age. The women seemed slightly uncomfortable having a soaking wet vagabond in their midst – especially the blind wife – but I soon allayed their concerns with “my friendly manner and engaging stories.” Leo, the kind man who invited me in, ran a small farm with a roadside stand, and a Full Gospel Assembly from the tent on Sundays. As we sat and visited, they asked if I was hungry – which of course I always was – so Leo asked his adopted daughter, Melanie, to boil up some corn so we could all enjoy a cob or two.

The five of us sat, eating corn, and visiting, and then, as the storm abated Leo asked if I’d like a ride back to Hwy 2 (the Trans Canada) as the 890 would take me in the wrong direction. I gladly accepted, being relatively dry now and full of sandwiches and corn. I said my goodbyes and thank-yous’ to the women, then went outside and hopped into Leo’s truck – continuing down the 890 until taking a right on the aptly named Cornhill Road, and then up Creek Road to Hwy 2.

The intersection of Creek Road and Hwy 2 was truly in the middle of nowhere – at least 10 miles away from civilization in either direction – but I assured Leo that I was fine, and, worst-case scenario, I could haul out my sleeping bag and sleep under the overpass. I’d had worse…and I still had half a sandwich.

I stood there trying to get the attention of passing cars for an hour or so, but was having very little luck, when a 30-something, single guy in a mid-60’s dark green Rambler pulled up, rolled down the window, and said, “Where are you going?” “Just Trying to get to the youth hostel in Fredericton,” I replied, “Great, I’m going that way, hop in.”

Kevin was about 35, and was driving back, from Moncton, to the small cabin and property he inherited from his parents, somewhere between Oromocto & Fredericton. He seemed quite amicable and was interested in my road stories, and also shared a few of his own. Apparently, he really liked to help hitchhikers in need, and was very generous, often buying lunch or dinner for those he’d picked up and even going so far as to pay for a plane ticket home for one young guy he’d met from Saskatoon, who needed to get home in a hurry.

“Wow, that’s super generous of you,” I said. “Aw, I don’t mind,” replied Kevin, “I’ve got enough money, and it makes me feel good to help people out.” We carried on with small talk, on this rather non-descript section of the Trans-Canada – that has often been designed with rapid A to B functionality in mind, rather than as a scenic and leisurely jaunt through cute villages, farms, and “roadside attractions”.  We rolled by turnoffs for places with enticing names – Washademoak, Pickett’s Cove, White Cove, Mill Cove, then gliding over the Jemseg River Bridge and once more over the St.John’s River which I’d just traversed a few days prior on my way to P.E.I.

“Hey, y’know I’m getting a little hungry,” said Kevin, “I know a pretty good roadside diner in Oromocto, how about I buy you dinner?” “Oh, wow man, that’s super generous of you,” I replied, “and I rarely say no to a free meal, but I just had a couple of sandwiches and a bunch of corn with a family I met.” He seemed a little disappointed so I added, “But I haven’t had dessert, maybe a slice of pie would be good.” “Ha ha!” he laughed, “pie it is, I know they’ve got some really great homemade apple pie.” I was anticipating eating at the hostel later, but I could never say no to pie.

Gretchen’s Diner was a busy roadside café populated by locals, travellers and long-distance truckers all stopping in for some of Gretchen’s regionally famous home-style cooking. While Kevin loaded up on generous helpings of pork chops, mashed potatoes, and green beans, I tucked into a large slice of apple pie a la mode and a coffee. After discovering coffee on this cross-Canada trip, it too became an essential ingredient of living.

By the time we wrapped up, paid up, and headed back to the car, it was early evening, with the light of a waning day spilling through the nearby trees. Pulling out of the parking lot, Kevin said, “Y’know, my place isn’t too far from here, I’ve got lots of room, why don’t you save your hostel money and come and stay at my place?” This took me a little off guard, as my experience in Montreal was still fairly fresh in my mind, although, Kevin seemed more genuine and was not as creepy as Olivier. Maybe my judgement was clouded with pie and a free place to stay, but when he mentioned, “a couple of cold beers in the fridge,” my wariness crumbled and I said, “sure, ok.”

We left the Trans Canada, hanging a right onto a small rural road – the 102 – crossing the Oromocto River, meandering past a local airport, the “Jesus Reigns Forever Church of New Brunswick”, and the assorted farms, subdivisions, and small businesses that populated this slower byway between Fredericton and Oromocto.

It was getting dark, and the headlights shone on the metal mailboxes perched on top of white wooden posts at the entrance to property driveways – as they do all across rural Canada – until, after a 10, or 15-minute drive, Kevin turned right onto a long, dark, curving dirt driveway. The headlights further illuminated fences, a garage and a few other outbuildings, as we bumped along, until we pulled up in front of a white mid-century farm building.

“Well, here it is,” said Kevin, “home sweet home…grab your stuff and come on in.” I grabbed my pack and joined him on the porch as he fumbled for the keys in the dark. As lights were turned on, a hungry tabby greeted us at the door,. Kevin’s place was a typical 2-bedroom cabin, with a small foyer for coats and shoes, leading into a living room with the usual collection of chairs, bookshelves, memorabilia, side tables and a large stuffed couch. I rested my pack against the wall and chose one of the comfy chairs near the brick fireplace. “Can I get you a beer?” he asked, “Sure, that would be great,” I replied. Although I was only 17, I was no stranger to alcohol, having discovered the joys of drunkenness 3 years earlier in Victoria.

He handed me a beer, placed a bowl of pretzels on the coffee table, turned on the radio and, beer in hand, sat on the couch facing me. We continued with our various conversations and observations, drinking beer, and munching on pretzels. I had enticed ‘Chi-Chi” the tabby to sit on my lap and was enjoying some quality cat petting time, when Kevin – after I was almost through my third beer – yawned and said, “Well, I think it’s about time we go to bed.” “Yeah, I’m getting kinda tired,” I agreed, “I’ve got my sleeping bag, I can sleep right here, on the couch.”

“No need to sleep on the couch,” he countered, “there’s plenty of room in my bed.” I looked at him to see if he was kidding. “No No,” I said, “I’m totally fine sleeping here on the couch, it looks quite comfy.” “Don’t be silly,” he said, “I’ve got a big queen-sized bed, it’ll be comfortable for the two of us.” “Uhhh, no,” I said, once again, “I’d rather just sleep on the couch…or the floor, I’ve got a foamie.”

Kevin’s easy-going demeanour darked somewhat. He furrowed his eyebrows and stared at me silently for a minute, as if he were assessing what to say in response to my rejection of his “kind offer”. “Ohhh,” he began slowly, pausing and nodding slightly, knowingly, “so that’s the way it’s going to be, eh?” “Ok,” he said, with resignation and disappointment in his voice, “get your pack and I’ll take you to the hostel.”

In the last 5 minutes, I’d realized what Kevin’s entire goal for the last 4 hours had been – to slowly manipulate me into bed with him. A well-crafted trap of kindness and camaraderie sprung upon my unwitting, trusting, and naive 17-year-old self. I grabbed my pack and headed for the door.

The ride to Fredericton was blessedly short, which spared us both the awkward silence which had descended upon us. We were only about 5 miles from the hostel, and although it was past 9 pm, I knew the hostel would still be open to welcome travellers, like me. Kevin pulled up to the curb in front of the hostel and, as I was about to get out of the car, said, “Here, this is for my ‘amusement’,” as he handed me a 5-dollar bill. I may have just dodged another bullet, but I was not about to pass up a much-needed cash infusion – I grabbed the $5, stuffed it in my jeans, and got out of the car.

I felt an uncustomary sense of relief as I walked through the doors of the 2-story brick heritage hostel building in downtown Fredericton – even more so when I heard a familiar voice behind me while I was checking in at the main desk. “Hey man, looks like I won the race today,” it was Jack, “Ha Ha! What took you so long? I’ve been here for a couple of hours!” he continued. “Uhh, I got a little side-tracked,” I said, “I’ll tell you all about it over a cup of coffee…where’s the kitchen.” “Right through those doors and through the common area,” he said, “Sam’s in there watching TV, he got here the day after we did and has been hanging out, getting high, and playing shuffleboard.” “Oh, cool,” I said, “I’m glad your buddy made it, safe ‘n’ sound…let’s find a fourth and we can play doubles.”

As I headed for the kitchen, I glanced around the room filled with assorted hippies, travellers, and transients. I smiled and waved at Sam, and then out of the corner of my eye, noticed two fellows hunched over a coffee table engrossed in a game of Go. “Takashi! Hey, good to see you,” I said, delighted and surprised to bump into this fellow traveller, whom I hadn’t seen since Thunder Bay – ten days ago. “George! Nice to see you too, are you ready to be beaten at a game of Go again?” he said, laughing. “Ha ha! For sure,” I said, “but only if you let me beat you at a game of shuffleboard!”

It felt good to be hanging out with these friendly familiar faces.

Epilogue…I survived the rest of my journey home and made it back to Victoria safe & sound within 10 more days of very dedicated travel – and a few more near misses and life lessons from the road.

And Mark & Shawn? From my journal: “August 19… phoned parents and found out that Mark & Shaun took 1 week to get to Brandon then turned back.”

I’m glad I chose not to wait.

(Cover photo: “Hitchhiking on the Banff-Jasper Highway, 1973. Photo by Bob Olsen, Toronto Public Library”)

The Panic Attack

Degree in Political Science with a Minor in Economics…check

One year of French Immersion at L’Université Laval, Quebec…check

Strategic move to Ottawa to pursue a career in External Affairs, or International Development – my field of interest…check

Write External Affairs entry exam…check

Pass exam, but fail to get accepted into External Affairs…check

Become despondent, drink heavily…check

Call up friends, go to neighbourhood pub, The Royal Oak, and commiserate over beer…check

“I dunno dude, I thought you were a shoe-in,” said Steve, “the degree, the French, the passable English. Not to mention the New Wave hair.” “You’re such a bureaucratic catch!” “And doesn’t your dad work for the Feds? Aren’t you genetically part of “the Machine?”

“Yeah, but he’s with Consumer & Corporate Affairs in Vancouver,” I replied, “my pedigree is a bit thin for the boys at External…and it’s not the hair, it was an exam, not an interview.”

I love Steve, and all my pals from our little garage-band, The Simpletones. Steve is our Bass player, and we are joined tonight by Ted (drums), Adam (vocals), Bridget (more vocals) and Andrew (vocals and mystical inspiration). Everyone is blessed with a good sense of humour. The Newcastle Brown is flowing, but I’m not buying rounds, for obvious reasons.

“The odds were not in your favour George,” chimed in Adam, “as I understand it, over 3,000 write the exam annually, 300 pass, and 30 get jobs…you had a 1% chance of becoming a Foreign Service Officer.” I trusted Adam’s stats, and take, on this process, as he – unlike myself – was from Bureaucratic Royalty.

“Yeah, I guess I can console myself being in the top 10%,” I replied, “they let me know that I’d passed the exam, but that makes it worse in a way as I was obviously “weeded out”. What hurts is that the two guys I share my place with both landed jobs with External. Neville has a Masters in International Studies and Bill has a solid work history designed for a job in External. He was an Air Cadet and rose up in the ranks, so he knows how to take orders”

“Yeah, but you know how to take orders too George,” said Ted, “didn’t you tell us you used to be a Keg waiter?” Everybody laughed uproariously – myself included – and I raised up my glass, “Hi, my name’s George and I’ll be your Foreign Service Officer tonight!” We clinked our glasses and guzzled our beer. One consolation was the delicious array of brews at The Royal Oak – arguably, the best brew on tap in greater Ottawa. Patty, the waitress, came over to our table to see if we needed more drinks. “Always!” came the unanimous reply, “And Adam’s buying,” I said, “‘Cuz he’s got ‘connections.’” “My largesse has a certain shelf-life,” replied Adam, “As does your large ass!” countered Steve. “And who’s picking up the tab for your food and rent?” Adam parried, “Not to mention my guitar strings!” I laughed. “Maybe you should go back to slinging steak & lobster buddy,” said Ted, “what else ya gonna do with a Poli Sci degree?” “And a minor in Economics!!” I overrode. By now we were all giddy with beer, laughter and camaraderie.

“What the hell can you do with a BA in this country?” I queried, “it really doesn’t prepare you for much…it doesn’t confer any marketable skills.” “It conferred the use of the word confer,” said Andrew, “good one…you’re probably good at researching and writing and working to some kind of deadline.” “Yeah, I guess,” I said, as I reflected on what exactly I’d taken away from four years of higher education. “I saw a posting recently for Communication Officers with Consumer and Corporate Affairs,” said Bridget, “…looked like some kind of writing job with the UFFI Centre, in Hull.” “What in God’s name is the UFFI Centre?” I quivered. “I think it stands for Urea Formaldehyde Foam Insulation…some kind of Government program that needs ‘splainin’ by eager young recruits…like you!” she grinned. “Oooh, sounds hellish,” I said, “and where do I find these things…these postings to which you refer?” I asked. “They’re on the board at the Government Employment Office down on Gloucester,” she replied, “go check it out.” “Hmmm -sounds like the beginning of a dead-end Kafkaesque bureaucratic nightmare,” I said, “what’s the pay?” “$26,000.,” replied Bridget. “Hmmm…,” I hesitated. “And benefits!” she added. “Sign me up!” I enthused, slapping my hand on the table, “I’ll go and check it out tomorrow, but until then, why don’t we head over to the Preston Lounge* and rock out!”

All heads nodded in agreement, beers were downed, bills were paid, and we all got up to leave. I turned to Steve, “You got the London Dock?” I asked. “Wouldn’t even think of jamming without getting a little tuned-up,” he smiled.

(*The Preston Lounge was our jamming studio, situated in the basement of an Automotive Garage on Preston Street, just a few blocks away from the Royal Oak pub)

The next morning – not too early, as I was nursing my usual post-jam hangover – I wandered down to the Employment Office to scan the cork boards with their myriad of job postings. Hmmm…Fisheries Administration? No.  Atomic Energy Agency Technician? No. Canada Agriculture & Food Museum Curator? Please God, shoot me now. There were dozens and dozens of postings, and over 100 different Government Agencies to choose from. My “morning after” condition made sorting, picking and choosing grindingly painful.

OK…focus, focus…ahh, here we go, Consumer and Corporate Affairs – UFFI Centre, Communications Officer, Place du Portage, Hull…Queries and Resumes to Roger Gauthier, Human Resources Department. Got it. I wrote it all down on one of the little notepads provided, then wandered out in search of coffee and breakfast, and coffee.

Perhaps I got the interview because I was seen as somewhat of a novelty. Not many University grads were making the move from the West Coast to Ottawa due to the horrible winters and demands of Bilingualism, or, there’s a remote possibility that my father’s position as a Regional Director of C&CA in Vancouver conferred some loyalty or perception of familiarity with the Department and its ways. However the path was paved, I wandered into Roger’s office on a hot summer day in 1981, wearing dress pants, shirt & tie and my Harris Tweed jacket (my only nice, “officey” attire), to a cloud of smoke and coughing.

Sitting at his desk, obscured by a haze of tobacco smoke, behind an ashtray full of butts, sat Roger Gauthier – the morbidly obese, chain-smoking head of HR for the UFFI Centre, staff population of about 120. “Come in, come in, have a seat,” he said in perfect, heavily-accented – English. These were the days of unabashed smoking. Very few restrictions were in place, and if you wanted to smoke – you could…so he did.

The interview went well, Roger was a very cordial and affable guy and, before long, the interview turned more into a conversation about ourselves – including Roger, sharing a bit about himself. “I love my food,” he said, “and wine,” “I consider myself to be somewhat of a gourmand,” “but you know…my doctor,” he continued, “my doctor says ‘Roger’, you have high blood pressure and cholesterol,” “if you don’t cut back on your lifestyle, you’ll be dead in six months!” “Ha Ha!” he chortled, “but I told him, I’m not going to quit, I’m enjoying life too much, I’m not giving up my rich foods!” Cough-cough-cough! Long draw on cigarette, exhale.

I nodded politely, smiled, laughed at the appropriate moments, and agreed with everything Roger said. Despite my oxygen deprivation and sweaty, Harris Tweed hyperthermia, I got the job, and started the following week.

Urea Formaldehyde Foam Insulation was – for many, in the 1970’s – a godsend. If you had an older uninsulated residential or commercial property, UFFI could be injected into the hollow uninsulated wall cavity of your home, helping to greatly reduce heating costs during the 70’s Energy Crisis. It was such a great thing that the Federal Government gave people $5,000 grants to help cover the costs of installation. All good.

Then came the discovery that UFFI often didn’t cure properly in many wall cavities, leading to moisture, mold, mildew, and off-gassing of formaldehyde – a potentially carcinogenic gas. It was banned in 1980, and it subsequently became a requirement of property sales to sign a declaration that UFFI either was – or wasn’t – in the home. This left, thousands of homeowners, fearful of the possible cancer-causing monster living in their walls, and with the inability to sell their homes – unless at vastly reduced rates. All bad.

Enter the Federal Government (once again) and the creation of the UFFI Centre to save the day! $20,000 grants would flow! Technical experts would be hired! Teams of specialists would show up – dressed head to toe in protective gear – to remove the nasty UFFI, and, most importantly, a Communication’s Department would be created, with talented writers to act as explainers and apologists for the vast volume of letters that began to flow from the 57,000 Canadians affected by this fiasco, asking, “What the Fuck is going on?”

It was in this Department that I found myself, with a half-dozen other Communications Officers, an Assistant Manager, and a Manager, all overseen by a Director – and we were but one cog in the larger Ministry of Consumer & Corporate Affairs, headed up by The Honourable Minister Judy Erola. An Office in a Department in a Centre within a Ministry. “Hello Franz can I help you?”

It was the days of onion skin, carbon paper and IBM Selectrics. Letters came in, if they lacked urgency they would be stuck in a yellow folder. If urgent, a red sticky tag would be attached. If it was intergovernmental or Ministerial correspondence, the urgency would require a red folder, with several red sticky tags.

 I know what you’re thinking, “How incredibly fascinating, please tell me more!”

Luckily, I worked with a lively and fun group of people, which made most days pass with good-natured banter and pleasant exchanges, but it didn’t take long for the repetitive, dead-end nature of this job to set in. I lived for after-work, the Royal Oak, my little new-wavey group – The Simpletones – and my new girlfriend Stephanie.

Stephanie and I met at a Halloween party where she showed up dressed like a head of Broccoli and I came as David Bowie disguised as the Elephant Man (his Broadway stage, breakthrough phase). Stephanie’s broccoli outfit was fetchingly cute, and when I took the bag off Joseph Merrick’s disfigured head, revealing my painstakingly made-up Bowie impersonation, replete with the Aladdin Sane facial lightning bolt, we connected, and it was “relationship on.”

In short order we were doing what young couples in their mid-20’s in the early 80’s do. Stephanie had recently moved back to Ottawa from Paris where she was training to be a chef at Le Cordon Bleu. She was also working with a lawyer in Boston, seeking exoneration for her junior role in an international drug-smuggling ring which had recently been nabbed in Canada’s largest ever hashish bust.

“Hmmm,” I thought, “a beguiling head of broccoli, who can cook, with connections to a global criminal organization…I think I’m in love.”  Given her background, is it any wonder that she would fall for a guy with a fascinating career as an Information Officer with the UFFI Centre – like myself.

I thought I knew coffee, but I was wrong. The coffee that I had a relationship with since that first cup – at Youth Hostels, during my hitchhiking trip across Canada, at the age of 17 – was pedestrian fare compared to what Stephanie brought into my life from Paris. My coffee was a tin of Maxwell House or MJB, ground up God knows when, left on a shelf, percolated, and kept, warming on a stove for hours…or days. It was bottomless cups served at Diners by affable waitresses, wandering around with glass Bunn-o-Matic coffee pots. Stephanie brought fresh ground beans and sexy machines, whipping up hot milk into Lattés and Cappuccinos, or served small, hot black and muscular, in the form of kick-ass Espressos. It was – for a coffee junkie like myself – caffeine heaven.

During the hot Ottawa summer months, to get a little exercise, I would ride my bike from my place at Bank St. & McLeod, through downtown Ottawa, over the Eddy St or Portage Bridge into Hull – about a 20-minute ride – to my cubicle at Place du Portage, buzzing on one (or two) of Stephanie’s double espressos.

On just such a day, roughly 6 months after I started working at the UFFI Centre, I arrived at our Communications Office, caffeinated and a little sweaty, only to find my co-workers, standing around, coffees in hand, looking a little sombre, and engaged in a buzz of quiet conversation. Heads turned as I walked in and Michelle, our Communication Department Director, said, breathlessly, “Good morning George, you probably haven’t heard yet, but, Roger Gauthier died last night.”

“Oh no,” I replied, taken aback, “what happened?” “He was having dinner with friends at Le Coq d’Or in the Byward Market last night, and suffered a massive heart attack,” came the reply. “Well,” I thought, “at least he died doing what he loved.”

Everybody liked Roger, and, as is so often the case when someone familiar to us dies, we must pause and discuss. Questions, concerns, and speculation flow, “Did he have any family?” “Did he die right in the restaurant or did they get him to the hospital?” “Did he have a girlfriend?” “Will there be a celebration of life?” “He’s left a vacancy at the management level in HR, any idea what it pays?” and so on. After a time, the present moment returns, telephones ring, red-tagged dockets must be answered, and Michelle reminds us of our need to return to the tasks at hand. “I’m sure there’ll be some kind of funeral to attend, or some celebration of life at the Department level,” she said, “I’ll keep you all posted.”

There was always a considerable volume of correspondence to attend to at The Centre. With over 57,000 affected, concerned & angry homeowners seeking redress, the letters flowed in. Although computers were not yet commonplace, there was a system in place to recognize the similarity of many of the questions, complaints, and queries being thrown at our department, and to create a series of “standardized replies” to help streamline the process. Often, the job of a Communications Officer was simply reading a letter and fabricating a reply using these stock responses. “Hmmm, looks like an ‘A3’, a ‘C5” a ‘B7” and a ‘C8’ oughta do it,” which would then be sent off for assembly and signatures by one of the Department Heads.

More complex letters – those requiring technical information, detailed legal or political responses – would be handled individually, and created by one of our Info Officers, before making its way through the gauntlet of multi-level bureaucratic approval. These “sensitive” letters would often be massaged several times on their way up and down the chain of command until – like a rare jewel – they were polished to glistening perfection. I was starting to wonder how I could become a drug mule in Stephanie’s defunct smuggling ring.

As I write this little story, the first line of Bass Player Stephen Willcock’s song “Oyster” jumps out at me, like a deer leaping from the bushes by the side of winding country road on a dark moonless night…

“Defeated by Dreams, his vision of flight and space conquered,

Orson saw a miracle in the stamp of his mother”

Needing a little more context and content, I turned to the creative genius himself – who was, of course, still sitting at the Royal Oak, drinking Newcastle Brown – and he promptly forwarded this lovely piece from a book he’s been working on, aptly called, “The Simpletones.”

“He shifts tempo to a slower four chord sequence, the opening on their one original so far, “The Oyster song.” Stephen’s bass figures a liquid rhythm and the drums splash in four beats later. George grabs his guitar by the neck as it floats by. Unbroken waves lift him as his hands chop at the surface of his strings like a high wind on a whitecap. His sparse chords tread the rolling swell of “Oyster.” He begins clipping it, chipping it, a staccato start that declare a tension needing resolution. He is experimenting a little before opening the verse:

Defeated by dreams, his visions of flight and space conquered,

Orson saw a miracle in the stamp of his mother,

Hard-edged the shores of a continent,

On maps made of earth and ink

 George begins increasing sustain by increments, the chords lingering slightly, suspense, momentum, the first chorus restrained.

In the sea, In the sea

The oyster bears a pearl, And the pearl is an egg,

 In the sea,

The bass is ineffable, it surges from the walls, swells from the floor. There is a physicality to its fluctuating currents of rhythm. An awesome circling tubular wave surrounds him as he surfs its undertow to beach gently at the next verse.

Starstruck and chainbound, Bird of the night and light darkened,

The blind girl sold her cane for a place in the lottery,

Soft flesh the body of womanhood, In a clockwork thin and pale

Still gentle with the chorus but here Ted’s drumming gains strength.

In the sea, In the sea,

The oyster bears a pearl and the pearl is an egg

Now George cuts loose, his guitar takes over as the driving force behind the song. His voice a howl adrift –

In the sea, In the sea In the sea

No one is ready for the machine that they have become. The first three chords are animate forces in an oceanic cycle that climb to culminate with the fourth chord crashing over and over as waves breaking on rock. “Sea” assumes four to seven syllables while waiting for the bridge, a falsetto “lalalalalalalala in the oh-ho-ho-shin”, each la marked by Ted’s snare. They combine to create forces of swell and upheaval, liquid undulation seismic as far as the street outside, oscillating the suspension of passing cars.”

…a passage from “The Simpletones” by Stephen Willcock

Although my dreams may have suffered a defeat, and my visions of flight and space lay temporarily vanquished by ‘The Three Fates’, I still had Steve, Ted and the Simpletones.  Sanity was maintained with late night jam sessions at the Preston Lounge, lubricated by beer and London Dock rum, endless dinner parties with our eclectic group of friends, and all the carnal calisthenics that a young man in his mid 20’s could wish for.

Then, one fine day, a few weeks after Roger’s passing, upon arrival at the UFFI Centre, Michelle called me into her office to let me know that Anne – our Unit Manager – had to leave suddenly the following morning for a week, due to a family emergency, and to ask me if I could take over the role of Manager in her absence.

As one of the underlings, I’d certainly watched Anne at work since my arrival at the Centre, and felt – through my somewhat indifferent observations – that her job didn’t appear terribly demanding. “Hmmm,” I thought, “she seems to hand out correspondence that comes in, follows up on the flow of yellow and red Dockets, answers a few questions, talks on the phone with her mom, and liaises with Michelle” “No problem, Michelle, piece of cake, thanks for giving me the opportunity to take on this significant challenge, prove myself worthy, and draw attention to my superiors of my reliability and cool-headedness under pressure.” Well, OK, maybe not the latter bit, but if you understand how bureaucracy works, you’ll get the implied ‘test’ that this mini-promotion represented. I could tell – almost immediately – that some of my co-workers –  who’d been there longer than I – were slightly miffed that they were overlooked for this climb up the next rung of responsibility. I experienced a completely unfamiliar sensation – I think it’s called smugness – it was to be short-lived.

“Drinks are on me chums,” I said, as the boys gathered for after-work beverages at “The Oak”. “Yay!” came the group response. “What’s the occasion George?”, asked Adam. “Just got a temporary promotion today to Manager, so I’m feeling a little flush,” I replied, gulping down some nice cool Guinness. “Wow, that was pretty quick, Jesus, you’ve only been there, like, 6 or 7 months,” continued Adam, “the boys at External are going to be kicking themselves when they realize that they passed over such obvious talent,” he said laughing. “Well, it’s only for a week,” I said, “but once they see how efficiently I hand out those yellow and red Dockets, I think I can expect a fairly quick rise through the ranks.” Everyone laughed and Andrew observed, “Enjoy it while it lasts lads, we all know how these things can play out.” Heads nodded reflectively and glasses clinked, “A toast to the Manager!”, they all chimed in. “Another round please Patty!”, I shouted. It was going to be one of those evenings.

Stephanie was pleased that I’d received the positive news, less pleased that I staggered in drunk at 2am on a workday. My promise to take her out for a nice dinner on my winnings the following evening brought smiles – and likely ate up whatever incremental monetary increase I was to receive for one weeks’ promotion.

Getting up hungover and late is never a great way to start any new job, but Stephanie said she’d make me an especially strong coffee to get my little legs pumping quickly on my bike ride over to Hull. “Here’s a triple Sumatran espresso,” she said, “just ground this morning, this’ll get you there on time” I kissed her goodbye, jumped on my bike and sped off, keeping a mind on my tight window of time.

“Look at that,” I said to myself, heart racing and slightly out of breath, “a few minutes before nine – that might be my best time ever.” Rather than wait for the elevator, I sprinted up the three flights of stairs to our office on the third floor, marched briskly down the hall, and entered the Communication Department to a series of nods, waves, and a chorus of “Good Mornings” and “Bonjours.”

I made my way to Anne’s cubicle, in the corner near the window. We worked in an open-office layout, with 4-foot movable baffles, allowing greater overall visibility but limited privacy. I sat down at her desk – my home for the next week while Anne was off in Brantford caring for her ailing mother – and surveyed the rather large pile of files, Dockets, paperwork, and notes, hastily scribbled for my attention. Despite my hangover and lack of sleep, I thought to myself, “Man that Sumatran is really working…I’m just buzzing…I should be able to breeze through these stacks of correspondence in no time.”

As the red Dockets held more urgency, I turned my attention to those that were festooned with additional “red stickies” implying greater need for care, consideration and timeliness. Invariably, these were letters addressed to Judy Erola, the Minister of Consumer and Corporate Affairs, and came from families experiencing serious distress (possible UFFI-related cancer & bankruptcy), and sent to their Member of Parliament to try and create some “political clout” behind their request.

As is so often the case within bureaucracies, once a program of assistance was in place, it was difficult – if not impossible – to go beyond the parameters of the program, so replies were often designed to placate and assure. “We’re coming…help is on the way.”

As I sorted through the stacks of correspondence, dividing various dockets up to distribute to my co-workers, I came across an urgent piece from a family that were at their wits end about their concern for their children’s health, living in a devalued home that they were now incapable of selling. It was a letter I’d replied to several days earlier on behalf of the Minister, and it had made its way through multiple layers of bureaucratic editing, proofing and approval before landing on Minister Erola’s desk, where she noticed a punctuation error – a period missing from the end of a sentence – circled it on the onion skin paper, and sent it all the way back down the chain of command, to arrive back in my hands – once again.

I stared at the error, with a mix of disbelief, mild annoyance, and the realization that this little, seemingly insignificant, mistake, would likely cost the system (read taxpayer) extra money and time, while the poor family struggled and waited. My coffee buzz was on max and I felt my blood pressure rise slightly. Just then, Paul, one of my fellow co-workers, leaned over the partition and asked if I could help him solve a particularly difficult problem he was having, with one of his dockets. I turned to reply, when all of a sudden, another co-worker – Chantale – leaned over a different partition and said, “Georges, je n’ai rien à faire, Anne distribute généralement la correspondance dès qu’elle arrive à 8:30.”

As I was deciphering Chantale’s comment with my, somewhat limited command of French, (while realizing she was giving me a slight dig, pointing out that Anne normally arrived at 8:30 to hand out the day’s workload) – the phone rang. While Paul & Chantale leaned over the partitions waiting for a reply, and the phone continued to ring, I could feel my heart start racing and my stress level rising. Before picking up the phone I turned slowly to Paul & Chantale and said, with a forced air of calm, “I think it’s Michelle, can I get back to you both in about 15 minutes?” …and picked up the phone. It was Michelle, our department head, “George, I need to see you in my office.”

Maybe it was the hangover and lack of sleep, maybe it was the coffee, maybe it was the heart-pumping bike ride at the start of my day, maybe it was the triplex of demands and requests from co-workers and Boss landing all at once – whatever the reason, I was now in full “deer in the headlights” mode. “Uhh, good morning, Michelle,” I said, trying to hide the slight tremble in my voice, and the horrible, fearful feeling that I wasn’t physically, mentally or emotionally capable of seeing her right at that moment, “uhh…I just have to take care of a couple of things, can I come and see you in about half an hour?” “Sure, see you then,” she replied.

I got up from my desk, loosened my tie, left our department, headed down the hall to the stairs, wandered down the three flights, found the front door to the building, left the building, and walked down the street to a little park about a block away that had benches, and sat down – shell shocked. I’d never had a panic attack before, and I wondered if, like Rodger, I was having a heart attack.

It was about 9:45am and there I was sitting in a park, calming down but still slightly bewildered by what had just happened. “Wow,” I thought, “what was that all about? I really don’t know if I can go back up there, maybe I’m not cut out to be a manager…or a writer…or an employee.”

I stared at the trees and the few people in the park – and then I noticed a Depanneur on the adjacent corner. It took a moment to dawn on me, but then I remembered that I was in Hull, in the much more liberal province of Quebec, where liquor was sold 7 days a week, all day long, even in little corner convenience stores. A beer…I wanted, no, needed, a beer. Even the thought of it had a calming effect. I got up, crossed the street and wandered into the little Depanneur.

Peering through the foggy window of the beer cooler, I saw that the shopkeeper kept a very well-stocked supply of beers – many of which weren’t even available across the bridge in Ottawa. “Hmmm, different brands, even different sizes,” I thought, “he’s got beers twice the size of the little brown stubbies I get back home.” I pulled out one of the very large Labatt’s 50’s and asked, “Combien coûte cette bière monsieur?” The proprietor looked up from his newspaper, and replied, “La Gros Cinquante? Un dollar soixante-quinze.” I gave him a two-dollar bill, asked him to crack it open for me and put it in a paper bag, and said, “Gardez la monnaie.” He smiled and nodded as I walked out with my stress antidote.

Back on the bench in the park, I swilled my Gros Cinquante, from a brown-paper bag, and pondered my two futures – itinerant unemployable hobo, or functional cog in “the machine”.  I felt the calming effects of the beer and a slow return to normal as this “hair of the dog” worked its magic. In short order my stress level had subsided enough for a good inspirational pep talk, “Snap out of it, asshole, and get back to work…you got this.”

I chugged the last dregs of beer for fortification – and because I liked beer – and headed back to my cubicle. I waved at Paul as I walked in, smiling, pointed to my watch and gave him the sign for “5 more minutes”, poked my head in Michelle’s doorway (her elevated status gave her an office with a door), and told her that I just had to deal with a few staff issues – such as assembling some work for Chantale, before seeing her – and then, plunked myself back at my desk to filter through files, dockets, assorted correspondence and letters to hand out to my crew of six writers. While sorting through the stack, with workloads and overall urgency in mind, I came across the same file I was looking at when this whole imbroglio began, “Ah yes,” I thought to myself, with wry humour, “Judy Erola is missing her period.”

Rather than sending it off for a complete time-consuming and costly redo, I grabbed a sharp pencil, lifted the onion skin sheet and placed a firm little period at the end of the offending typewritten sentence. I marked it “APPROVED” and stuck it in the Outbox to be sent, without further delay, to the distressed family-in-waiting.

Clay and Bone website now has a direct link to my new book, “All Roads at any Time”.

I feel that this post must contain an apology and an explanation.

Because I don’t understand – completely – how my Posts, or changes to my website, reach those of you who subscribe to, or look at, or stumble into this site, I apologize if this information is redundant to anything you’d received in the last few months. My confusion revolves around not knowing if a change to my website menu (in this case, the creation of a dedicated “Page” for my new book which I created in November) went out as an announcement or not. As I’m fairly certain that these Posts (Journal/Blog) are sent out to all who follow this site, I thought it best to at least be thorough, cover all the bases, and send out this – possibly – new info.

Part of the problem lies in not knowing who subscribes to this site. I did an email blitz recently, announcing my new website link, but that was to friends & family whom I know. Communicating via website is a little like speaking to the void – with the exception of the occasional comment, kudo, critique that comes in.

So, without belabouring the issue, here are the salient points contained in my recent group email (and again, if you’ve already received word of this, stop now and accept my humble apology, I’m not trying to spam you😊)

This email is primarily to announce my book to the uninformed, and to let all of you know that I have created a link on my website through which the book can now be purchased.

The Book is called “All Roads at Any Time”, and is 12 short stories/memoirs, that I have written over the last 5 or 6 years and posted on either of my two websites (this one) or http://www.shavasana.ca ) or have possibly read on my Podcast: http://www.theaccidentalcurator.ca …and now it is available in paperback format and can be purchased for $19.95 (plus mailing).

Here’s the link which describes the book, and through which you can obtain it via either of the two payment links – Square & PayPal.

Wishing you all a Merry Christmas & all the best for a healthy, happy & peaceful 2024!

Cheers!

George